My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Now That's a Bad Day

Where is the moment we needed the most?

You kick up the leaves and the Volvo is lost...

You tell me your blue skies fade to grey

Your baker still hates you, too, they say

But I don't need no carryin' on!

You fall in the line just to hit a new low

You pretend that you meant to, but everyone knows

You tell me it's hard working here offline

Your coworkers mock you all the time

But I don't need no carryin' on!

So you had a bad day

You're itching downtown,

You sing a sad song just to drown out the sound!

You say you must know,

You tell me don't lie,

Then you work on a smile and you opt for the pie.

You had a bad day!

Now that's a bad day.


Thanks to wreckporters Connie L., Deborah P., Melissa F., Fribby, Monique R., Anony M., & Rachel B. for inspiring a new CW policy: from now on, we want any and all apologies handwritten. ON CAKE.

« Sunday Sweets: Story Time! | Main | Hands Down, the World's Creepiest Wedding Topper »

Reader Comments (107)

The last cake is THE BEST! I can think of at least 3 awful things I did in my past that I should have sent an apology cake for...

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterse-she that song will be stuck in my mind for the rest of the day. Thaaaaaaaaanks.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlly

Ok, now that I'm done laughing... all I can think is: poor cat!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Any excuse for sugar and frosting huh? I would LOVE to know the story about the herpes cake-the little frowny face just makes it XD

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

My squashed teacher heart.
The past perfect tense, people!
Use your helping verbs!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Now anytime I leave a job/school/city and I DON'T get a "you're dead to us now" cake, I'm going to wonder if that means they don't love me.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzombiekim

The use of the word "seen" makes me want to suicide.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

On the bright side- they got "you're" and "your" correct!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

At least now I know what to do if I ever projectile vomit on someone's cat! I can't stop laughing about that one. Every time I do, I imagine the cat's reaction, and start laughing again. I hope the poor kitty got some sort of compensation, too.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

The song along with the pictures was awesome!!! Made my day. I pictured it as a slow and sad video montage, and you don't know whether to laugh or cry. So you do both. Excellent!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Just, WOW!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

I hope they bought something nice for the cat, too.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

While I hope never to have reason to receive (or send) a cake that says "I'm sorry I projectile vomited all over your apartment and cat," it does have a certain poetry to it.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Sharyn sez:
"I hope they bought something nice for the cat, too."

You and I both, Sharyn.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

This is better than sending somebody dead roses after a split. Love the idea.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I suppose if you have to receive bad news, might as well be in the form of cake. At least the cake can be a form of consolation.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Seen... Really? I think someone needs a refresher class in grammar!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Nobody loves you.
Hearty fingerprints result
in quite the slap-print.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Projectile vomit
Poor kitty needs a cake too
Litter box cake please!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

But at least they were almost all spelled correctly and with correct grammar. (you're and your) And who doesn't like an excuse to have cake?? and that poor cat...

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrysmon

OMG, Everyday I can't wait to see what you have to share and today's made me spit my coffee at my computer screen it was so funny!! Thanks for the laughs!!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

Laughing!!! Can't... stop... laughing... I love every one of these!!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

*ROFL* LOVELOVELOVELOVE! These are hilarious! I was reading that last one and it made me think I was reading an apology (before I got the cat part) from my besty who threw up on me on a ride at the state fair! :) I would have LOVED getting a cake for that! As for the rest, well, if you're going to be snarky, be snarky in cake!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

Oh God, all I can think about is the cat!!!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNerwen Aldarion

As someone who has had to clean my apartment after another person had horrible food poisoning (though it was just all over the floor and couch, we don't have a cat), I would have appreciated a cake as compensation. As opposed to nothing, which is what I got.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarilyn

Now I want to sing this to a slideshow of these. But I won't, because it's your intellectual property and all that. But this was freakin' awesome.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrud

I'm sitting here laughing out loud, which is a little embarrassing. People are staring at me.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I love how pretty cake #3 seems. Your expectations rise with the awkward apology, and then (cue music from 2001: Space Odyssey) the grammar fail!

What are those weird donut things around the candles, btw?

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

Because nothing says "I'm sorry" like sprinkles.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Reminds me of the time I got food poisoning and projectile vomited all over my first boyfriend's car. Embarrassing! Maybe, I should have gotten him that cake.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranon

I thought that first one said, "Sorry about your cayacking". : - )

I don't know how you do it, Jen! Brilliant.

These cakes have renewed my faith in humanity and bakers (except the "seen it" one).

@Haiku Joy: I had to go back and look for those "Hearty Fingerprints". : - D

@Sharyn: Perhaps they bought the cat a tiny machine gun?

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Geez, that song makes me want to vomit... projectile-ly... same with the [one, to be fair] grammar fail. Are you trying to make me owe someone cake?

In other news, at first glance I thought "Earjacking? That's a bad day indeed."

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commentershmana

In high my friends and I had a tradition to get each other silly sheet cakes when someone was having a really bad day. The first was supposed to say "Peppy people suck" after I got fired from my minimum wage job for being "insufficiently peppy" but the place wouldn't write "suck" so they put "stink" instead.

Later we asked for a cake for my non-diabetic friend that said "good luck with your diabetes." The decorator said "you know they can't eat this, right?" and we replied that they could look at it. The really funny part was that they wrecked it! It wound up saying "Good luck with you diabets!" we always said it as though "diabets" was a name. Good luck with you, Diabets!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCara

We have a co-worker leaving us next week to work at another branch. I'm campaigning to get him a copy of cake #4.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

You guys have really outdone yourself with the commentary this time! I think it's the best I've ever seen! *wiping away tears* Thanks for the laughter!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Who would ever say something like "nobody loves you"???!!! And to go through the whole effort of having it put on a cake.

Some people are so sad and evil.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

So the time I ordered a going away cake that read "Good Riddance" isn't such a bad thing. It was done as a joke, sort of. He quit just as the busiest time of year was starting and we couldn't afford to be down a person.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Cats always get their pound of flesh. Unless they've been declawed.

#3 You'll be even sorrier, now that approximately 1.2 bazillion people 'seen' that cake.

#5 Awww. You shouldn't have. REALLY.

#6 I expect the recipient responded in kind.

(I know the song just well enough to recognize it, but not for it to get stuck. [grin])

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I'm getting an idea to send a cake to my former co-workers, who are going to be dealing with some major software upheaval because of vendor(s) ineptitude. I'm thinking "I'm sorry suck". And I'd make sure it had sprinkles!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

BTW Cakewrecks community - going back a couple of days to the Theodore Saga. I read all of the "Walter is an awesome name (as is Theodore)" comments to my young Walter, and I wish you could have seen the smile on his face. THANK YOU underneat that ALL in red. Draw a heart.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

Even if all of these are inside jokes rather than actual apologies (we can hope, right?), they and this post, are absolutely hilarious!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

I'm crying laughing at that last one. Can you imagine the look on the baker's face when they got the order? You want me to write what?? HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Yes, the cat would have been horrified! If you have to vomit on a pet, go for the dog. Dog's don't them, vomit is simply another food group. If you own a dog you know it's the truth.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChenaya

HAHAHHAA, oh, God, this post was so what I needed right now. The "you're dead to us now"-cake made me laugh out loud. Thank you for brightening my evening. :D

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEll

But...if nobody loves you, why'd somebody shell out for a cake? And a pretty fancy one, at that.

Methinks someone protests too much.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

When a card just won't convey the right feelings....

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

...And the all-time winner in the category "Ultra-Specificity To The Point of Ridiculousness" is... CAKE NUMBER SEVEN!!!! (cue canned applause)...

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

...and cat!!! aha ha ha

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeloise

I hate to say it, but with the exception of the Nobody Likes You inscription - is that princess crown actually a well executed CCC?

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSCJH

all i can think is 1. disturbing. and 2. AWWWW poor kitty

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCakeWreckObsessed!

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>