My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sunday Sweets: For Mom

When it comes to moms, we here at Cake Wrecks know there's really no comparison.

But John and I are going to give it a try anyway.

Here goes:
Moms are like giraffes.

By Mama B.'s Cakes, via

They'll gladly stick their necks out for us.


Moms are like fine wine.

By For Goodness Cakes

They only improve with age.

(Jen: Plus some of them are hard to put a cork in.)
(John: JEN!)
(Jen: Sorry.)


Moms are like hot air balloons.

By Sweet Tiers

They raise us up.

(John: Aw, I love that song.)
(Jen: I know, right?)
(John & Jen: You raise me uuuuup! So I can stand on MOUN-taaaaiins! You RAAAAISE me UuuUUup! To walk on stormy seeeeaass!)


Moms are like master chess players.

Submitted by Sharon & Matt; made by Cake Studio

They're always a couple moves ahead of you.


Moms are like toasters.

By the Icing on the Cake

If you push their buttons, they can really heat up.

(Jen: You call that buttering her up?)
(John: You're right. Maybe I should offer her a toast. That always gets me out of a jam.)
(Jen: You want a pat on the head for those crumby puns?)
(John: Oooh, BURN.)


Moms are like art palettes.

By Cupcake Envy

They help us show our true colors.

(Jen: Is it too early for another sing-along?)
(John: Yes. So just hum it.)


Moms are like onions.

(John: NOW who's not being complimentary?)
(Jen: No, no, hear me out:)

By Cake Chérie

They have a lot of layers.

(John: Oh, ok. That's not too bad...)

Plus if you chop them up, you'll probably cry.

(John: JEN!!)

(Jen: What? Am I wrong?!)


Moms are like pirates.

Sub'd by Kristin A. & made by Cake Nouveau

Some of them have killer right hooks.

(John: Maybe you should have remembered that before the onion thing.)
(Jen: Good point.)


Moms are like crime scene tape.

By Cake Hero

You never want to cross them.

(John: Um...maybe we should be focusing on more positive things.)
(Jen: You're right. How's this?)

Moms are like lighthouses.

Sub'd by archersangel; by Mike's Amazing Cakes

They guide us home through the storms of life,
so we're not dashed on the rocks of disappointment,
and pecked to death by the seagulls of despair.

(John: I like it.)


All silliness aside, we wish all you moms out there - and especially ours - the happiest of Mothers' Days, and hope that at some point today you'll get at least five minutes' peace:

Submitted by Kristy L. and made by The Cupcake Gallery

And maybe even a nice bubble bath.


Have a Sweet to nominate? Then send it to Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com.


Note from john: This post was originally entitled "Motherly Metaphors" but as R3Test pointed out in the comments, these are actually similes.  Bwoops.  I guess it's mildly ironic because my mom was actually an English teacher so I probably should have known that.  Also, Jen should never let me name a post at 4am.

« Hey, Sole Sister | Main | Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This »

Reader Comments (64)

OMG these are so awesome! I love the lighthouse (cause those are my mom's favorite) and the hot air balloon. Jen you should write greeting cards. I'd love to see how that goes!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAli

When will I learn to not drink soda when reading your blog?? Had giggles all the way through this post, but the onion one made me choke on my drink. Love you guys!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

I LOVED this post! Thanks for the laughs.

I think this is probably my favorite post, ever. :)

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

Metaphors are like similes, except that metaphors say that a thing "is" another thing, not "like" it.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterR3Test

I was completely confused by the crime scene cake (it's lovely, but what does it mean?) until I looked it up and read the words "Lady Gaga." Now it all makes sense.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

You guys are in rare form today - hope your day is a good one, too.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNorine

The cakes are cute and everything, I'm just trying to figure out what occasion calls for a CSI type cake?!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Seagulls of Despair!

I would like to start a goth band that covers the beach boys and call it this.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

the ittybitty toaster was precious but I think you pushed it a bit with the wedding cake with blood on it- could've mentioned they stand with you through the good and the bad, I suppose. ;)

I second Ali. You'd probably express more peoples' real opinions on greeting cards than Hallmark can manage!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Love it, Jen & John! What a lovely assortment of cakes! (I think you were stretching a bit to make the onion one "fit", but I'll let that slide - it's very life-like!) I almost thought the wine bottles were *real* too until I looked closer! The chess set was amazing, as well, and I think the "5 minutes peace" one was the cutest! I was the oldest of 3 & we had 4 cousins and when you got us together...ooohhh booooyyyy. Now I have 2 of my own that are really adorable! (At least, when they're not teen/tween-agers. I have a 12.5 yr old & I can't wait until she's 17 or so; I figure she'll be back to normal then...and yes, that would be "KarateLady's Daughter" that I speak of. :-)

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I know MY Mom's like a toaster. >:-[

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJo

What lovely cakes and sentiments!

Now back to reality. At least my fur-children wished me a happy Mother's Day.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

A Lady Gaga cake! I'm not sure if I should hide somewhere for knowing that (it's the "crime scene" one).

The wine cake looks amazing!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I'm with Elizabeth - let's hear it for The Seagulls of Despair!

And I still can't believe those aren't real wine bottles. Best trompe l'oeil ever.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCakelover

I love the Five Minutes' Peace cake. We have a well-loved copy of that book which I have never been able to give up even though the kids are grown now.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Five minutes of peace
wrested from the beaks of the
seagulls of despair.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

You know what else has layers? Parfaits! <3 As a mom I like both onions and parfait, just not together!
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
Shrek: I don't care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "[Heck] no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey: Parfait's gotta be the most delicious thing on the whole [dang] planet!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

Just read this out loud at the dinner table. Now whenever my brother disagrees with my mum she says "Seagulls of dispaaaaaaaaiiiiiiir" in a threatening voice. So ah... Thanks for that :P

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaina

LOVE the Lady Gaga cake!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaethe

The elephant in the tub, 5 Minutes' Peace. . . that is MY LIFE! :D
Wondering if the seagulls of despair were spawned in the Pit of Despair . . . which then leads me to think of the real pit of despair, which in turn leads to sadness . . . So then I have to think about cake, feeling guilty that cake is all it takes to pull me out of sadness . . . I'm going to go love on my kids now.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEli & Ember's Mom

Read you ALL the time. Promoted you at a Baby shower yesterday. (other than my daughters, no one had seen your site. I KNOW!!! Can you believe that??? Well, I've since rectified the problem.)
AND just had to say, I've forwarded today's post to my oldest son. He seems to fit EVERY one of the sayings under the cakes. (Are you sure you aren't related, Jen?)
Thanks again for all the good laughs. Read today that laughing cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack by 50%. Think of all the lives you are saving :)

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Is that case of wine ... actually cake??? I'm not kidding around ... I'm really not sure!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

These are more like what Mom should get for Mother's Day, not the messes from the previous post.
I thought that someone else's Mom was as big a fan of CSI as mine until I read the comments about Lady GaGa.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOrilon

The person who is, I'm guessing, holding up the backdrop behind the lighthouse cake is so creepy. It wouldn't have been so bad if this was a Halloween post, because I'm feeling a little like I'm behind a shower curtain in the Bates Motel.

Happy Mother's Day... I'm going to get you!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarlo

They were all very neat cakes. It is hard to believe the chess one is actually a cake. What I liked mostly was the jokes and puns all the way through. lol

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

A simile is a type of metaphor, just as a square is a type of rectangle. So you weren't wrong.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWinter Maiden

Dammit! You went and made me cry! Then laugh, then cry again. But it's all good. Best to all the moms out there and the moms who gave birth to them, the kids who made us moms, the women who picked up, fostered and adopted the kids from the moms who needed extra help and became moms from the heart and the men and dads who stood by us all and made it all worth while to be moms, love to all and Happy Mother's Day, Goddess Bless Us One and All.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAdoAnnie

Great post. I'm humming along to True Colors now. Also, maybe a hundred other people will have said this already by the time this is posted and I'll just have contributed to another Epcot debacle, but I don't think you had to change the title. A simile is a specific type of metaphor, but it is still a metaphor. agrees. And I thought your motherly metaphors were delightful.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjdens

Loved the Lady GaGa cake. I wonder if it could be served by Alexander Skarsgard?? lol

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDramaMomma3

I'm seriously loving those cupcakes with the toaster cake. Such good detail on the food representations. :D

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

John, I love that you have enough respect for both your mom and the English language to go back and fix your metaphor/similie mistake when it was realized. Thanks for that and for the laughs.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Mom

Jen! John! I less than three you guys.

Super Bonus Points for posting a Lady Gaga cake (even though you didn't comment on it BEING a LadyGaga cake)!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterValerie H

That "Five Minutes' Peace" one is my life! My toddler can be completely engrossed in Shaun the Sheep or Sesame Street until he hears the shower running, then suddenly he needs me in a dire emergency. *sigh* happy mother's day to us all. Thanks for the giggles!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterG-Baby

Who are you callin' a frakkin' toaster?

Hilarious post, as always, guys. :)

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbuffy

You guys are awesome. Thanks for brightening my day!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

@Courtney: I'm glad I wasn't the only one who immediately thought of Donkey and Shrek upon seeing the onion cake. And of course we didn't have to be told why the moms were like onions--we KNEW it was because they had layers!

And when I saw the last cake with "The Large Family" written on it, I instantly thought of the book "A Little Princess" by Frances Hodgson Burnett. I always loved that book when I was younger and must have read it a dozen times or more. Those familiar with the book will understand the connection.

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

That's one of my favorite posts so far!

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

You guys are so awesome! Thanks for the smile! (And the similes)

May 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Just adding my voice to the others: similes are, in fact, metaphors. They're... Like... Pictures, I guess. Drawings and photos are both pictures, but generally, it's only photos that are called pictures because drawing is a pretty distinct sub-category. For anyone who may be wondering why English teachers are so insistent on this, keep in mind that you learn about similes and other metaphors at the same time, as a ten- to fourteen-year-old, usually. They're kept distinct to avoid confusing normal metaphors with similes. A metaphor is, technically, just relating one object/idea/etc. to another.

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

Beautiful post. Really. Laughed, cried, stared in wonder, laughed and cried again.

Thank you.

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

So fun, I would be happy with almost any cake on mothers day, even a wreck maybe.

Another way moms are like pirates? Some of them have a lot of booty!

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

That wine crate cake is AMAZING. A-MA-ZING.

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I totally wanted an audio track to accompany this one with the two of you delivering the comments and singing!! Totally. Brilliant.

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

Loyal reader here but comment newbie. Had to say it...This post was awesome.

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSueHW

You know you're a geek when you see "Moms are like toasters" and think "they are committed to destroying humanity and serving the one God." :)

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCara

A Large Family Cake! My favorite children's book EVER (becaue, they were written for moms...I'm serious). My day-after-mother's day is made!

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGale

Ok, um, Marlo, are you seeing something that I am not? I don't see anyone behind the lighthouse cake...

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

The caution tape is a Lady Gaga cake! See the bottom layer? LOL

May 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

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