My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Fertile Imagination

Finally, a birthday cake that celebrates the real meaning of birthdays:

(Don't even try to tell me you don't see it.)

And that, boys and girls, is HOW A STAR IS BORN.




Thanks to Lindsay C. for the egg-cellent pregnant pause.

(Hey Lindsay, you think this cake would be hard to reproduce?)

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Reader Comments (82)

I don't see it. The birthday person's name.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I must be tired. It took me a second to see it. But now that I have seen it... well, you know.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

That is going to be one difficult pregnancy.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

How convenient. Birthday cake and sex ed rolled into one!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

That took me a minute to see...holy cow. Was that intentional or are those supposed to be balloons?

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKara Buntin

What the fern is that supposed to be? I know what it looks like, but I'm trying to figure out what kind of directions the customer gave to the wreckerator to end up with "Miracle of Life" depicted in cake!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

Once you see it you cannot unsee it.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Sung to “The Hearse Song (The Worms Crawl in)”

Don’t you laugh when the cake goes by
‘Cause it could be the next girl or guy
All wrapped up in a fondant sheet
The need to fertilize runs so deep

They put the cake onto a board
It looks askance at the coming hoard
It’s not so bad the first few tweaks
It’s only thought is “Oh, please, no freaks.”

The sperms rush in, they churn about
The sperms have one hope that is devout
They rush the sides, so bellicose
I really don’t want a cake with those

Assails your eyes, disturbs repose
Sends a shiver down to your toes
Each one a little disturbing splat
What’s the skinny on cakes like that?

Your jaw drops down and your eyes pop out
You find your head shaking all about
And then your turn a queasy green
(Tasteless reference to whipping cream…)

So next time you see the cake go by
Watch Out!
It might just

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I didn't know ova came with personalised messages on them - cool!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Celestial bodies
atop egg in mid-coitus
celebrate with cake!

Wow, honestly my gutter brain did NOT see the image until Jen emphasized it, it IS a lovely cake but they should definitely have left the balloons off!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

And that my friends is the perfect wreck! I don't even know what other wreck can surpass the perfect finesse of this one. A star is born, indeed.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

@Bea-I think it's a cake for a future birthday and they couldn't fit all 17 names on the cake.

Now that I looked at it again, maybe it supposed to depict little pink and purple mice enjoying a wheel of lavender cheese.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

It's another one that once you see, you can't unsee...Admittedly, it took a me a second because I was focusing on the stars...but when you look at the bigger picture...

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

Wow, 21 at the exact same time? All I can say is...that poor woman!!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Sometimes, it's best to just stick with stars. Then we could be making fun of how every "H' looks like "N'.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDelphine

" a star is born..." Great puns!!
@sharyn -- thanks again for another great song!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

It's an edge-of-your-seat suspenseful thrill ride. Who will be the winner and get his/her name on the cake?

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

This is the logo for the newest summer Olympic event: The Race for the Ovum. Eager swimmers line up, ready for the "gun" to "go off" and then swim like crazy toward the awaiting ovum. The winner is presented with the large gold star (and a baby) as a children's choir sings "Happy Birthday". The "also swams," who had high hopes, get the smaller stars, and lament that their loss was inconceivable...

@ SuBee, yes, if I squint a little with one eye, I can see the little pink and purple mice enjoying a wheel of lavender cheese...(that was funny...glad you're OK) (however, even though I grew up in Wisconsin, I don't recall ever seeing lavender cheese...)

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

So much potential for this cake, but the "balloons" made this look like something it should not have looked like. Sharyn, I do not know how you keep making funny songs, but keep it up XD

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Ok, I have to ask. Does Sharyn get advance screening of the posts? Because there is no way I could come up with a song that quickly.

And I don't understand why half the cake is surrounded by sperm balloons, and the other half is stars. Wouldn't one or the other be a better choice (stars, definitely stars). And I didn't see it until you pointed it out. So there. My brain's not totally corrupted yet.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

@Sharyn -- ah, a favorite old childhood song...nicely done, nicely done! I think Jen and john(thoj) should take you with them on the next tour and have you're building up quite a funny repetoire!!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

I checked the spelling, I critiqued the star placement and overall evenness, colors, everything... or so I thought. I wondered, "What is wrong with this cake?" Then... I looked down. "Aaaaaaaahhhhh. I see it now." *facepalm*

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

What do pink and purple baby mice eating from a circular trough have to do with birthdays? Oh. Never mind.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

At first I was trying to figure out why the pastel colored mice were burrowing into the cake, but then...

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

Why do people who make cakes think that balloon strings wiggle? like. sperm. tails. Stranger yet, why did this wreckorator lay the balloons (oddly) on their sides? and. make. them. burrowing. in. to. the. round. cake. It is very disturbing. Nobody wants to see that.
Cake decorating 101= Students should be forced to sit in a dark room and watch the movie UP! over and over and over and over until the image of balloons is burned into their brains.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersan

That had to be on purpose! Didn't it?!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S

Wow, I didn't see it at first-even with the hints until I read the comments and went back and looked and I'm like wow, who would have thunk it?

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I'm usually pretty proud of my gutter-brain, but I must admit I couldn't figure out what was wrong with the cake for quite a few seconds!! Why do people make "balloons" do that?

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga


May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

I think Sharyn has way to much time on her hands. She' needs a hobby. How about baking?

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTed C

I seriously thought "mice" at first. Wish I would've stopped at that :-)

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

Now there just needs to be a "balloon" on top of the "circle"...perhaps with a conversation bubble that reads "VICTORY IS MINE!"

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Ok, first I saw the baby star in the center dropping out of the large star with the attendant "nurse" stars, I thought, a star being born kinda sick, but! THEN I saw the "balloons" gathered around the large oval (ha!)

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

More like "egg cell-ent." Get it? Get it? harharhar.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercatplumtree

@muria -- the only posts I've ever seen in advance are the couple I helped write. My 12 yr old son and I make up real-time alternative lyrics to songs on the radio -- usually about our cats -- so I get a lot of practice.

@mel -- Greetings fellow former Wisconsinite! (I KNEW there was a reason I was not-stalking you!)

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Honestly, I saw the cake and couldn't figure it out for about 3 minutes. But once I did... I think I might stop snickering next week.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

Those were supposed to be balloons right? 0_o

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTekoa

The rightmost purple one must have been very determined, to make it this far without a tail.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

It took me a a minute because the "balloons" blended into the base, and If only the purple balloons were blue, this would have been perfect pulled off.

See, my brain went to the white star falling out of the big star's, uhm, lady parts. Only after I started reading the comments did I see the frantic swimmers.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKA

That really is a perfect wreck and I'm going to with the belief that the baker knew what she/he was doing and that she/he was laughing maniacally while saying, "Wait until Cake Wrecks gets a hold of this one! Mwahahahaha!!!"

Perfect puns, too, Jen!!

All around win!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

"I don't want to do the same boring birthday cake this time. What to do to liven it up? Wait a minute...BIRTHday! Of course! People will be so busy trying to see something in the stars that they'll miss the border! Heh...heh heh..."

And so five years of high school biology were finally put to good use.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I disagree that this is a wreck-- I think it's a hilarious, and rather appropriate, celebration of what prompts a birth. And in good taste (pun intended) as well. Unlike so much we see here...

Then again, my fiance works for an obstetricians' professional association, and so I have a stress ball on my desk that is shaped like a sperm. Tail and all! When I brought it in to show my colleagues (we work in public health, so it IS work appropriate), there was a lot of laughter around the office that day!

Loved the comments by Sharyn, mel, Subee and Katie as well as the always great Jen!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

At first I thought it was a star orgy....A storgy.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Ellen

Haha! It's like the opening scene of Look Who's Talking!

"Well , i must be blind because i really don't see any... Omg what were they thinking!". Yes , this is my honest reaction to this one. They are very well "camouflaged" and omce seen, you cant see the stars. My favorite kind of wreck: subtle, yet so wrong and you cant see anything else after. The evilest kind!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVinie

I was too busy wondering about the giant row of nursing newborn rats to see the sperm.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlabgrrl

I thought they were tampons at first...

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Funny, all I saw was a cake with a half-border of tampons...

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLittlet

Only Sharyn could write a catchy song that uses the word "bellicose." Well done.

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

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