A Publix Service Announcement

Dear Publix Bakery,

My name is john, and we need to talk.

See, I like you. I really do. Your icing? Awesome. Your cheesecake pies? Beyond nummy. And every time I cruise your aisles at my local store there's nary a wreck to be found.


Exhibit A: A few weeks ago, I received a picture of your new "Cinnamon Candy Creme Cake":

AKA, "The Sticky Pustule Bundt of DOOOOM! Now with more Herpes!"


Now don't get me wrong, PB. (Can I call you PB? 'Cuz I'm gonna call you PB.) Every bakery has an off day. But then I got a few more of these Pustule Poppin' pastries, and I started wondering: is this going to be a "thing?"

A nasty, nasty "thing?"


Just to be sure, I went to my local Publix - my own flesh and blood, so to speak - and imagine my horror, PB, when I found this on the featured end cap:



So here's what I propose, PB: You stop making the polyp'ed wonder here, and I'll stop thinking how much it reminds me of my dermatoligist's office posters.



Thanks to Marlissa D. and Amanda G. for reminding to wear sunscreen today. And to always use protection. And to maybe have a salad for lunch.