My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Happy Birthday, White Guy!

Sarah C. writes, 

"I was answering a hundred questions while ordering the cake for my husband, Guy's, birthday.





'What do you want it to say?'

'Happy Birthday, Guy.'

'What color do you want that written in?'


"When I went back to pick it up, the woman at the bakery - who wasn't the decorator - gave me a strange look."


And I think I see why:  

"And all the fishes say I'm pretty fly for a (White) Guy!"


Thanks to Sarah C., who agrees that (White) Guy is looking awful green.


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Reader Comments (42)

I would laugh my butt off if I (or my hubby) got this cake. HIlarious!

Why is there grass in the water? Water weeds maybe?

And what the hell happened to the border right in the front? It looks like the pipng bag started off fine but had diarrhea by the time it finished.

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

When I was in high school I had a friend named Guy Black. When he went to the doctor's office, they called patients last name first to the exam room. He used to laugh when they'd call him and three other African-American guys would stand up as well!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

Sung to 3 Dog Night's "Black and White"

My cake is back, and Guy is (white)
The bakery chose bright green to write.
"Please don't come back." As though I might.
The whole staff looks at me with spite, a smoldering spite.


Have a funky birthday, (white) Guy!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

This cake is going to make me shake my head all day. The double border in front is strange enough, but I'm wondering about the dark blue spot where the boat rests. Is that the size of the lake -- just big enough for a boat and a fish? Or is this just a "Bermuda triangle" spot where white guys go on a certain birthday?

I hope that alcoholic beverages were served at this birthday party so they could enjoy the cake!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

This is going to become a family story, just like the time I announced to my family that my husband was no athlete. (I wasn't being nasty. You had to be there.) My mom decided I "had wounded his gentle spirit". (Again, you had to be there.)

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Sharyn hehehe, the literal lol's are my favorite ones -you wonder how people can be so dumb :D

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Wait, 3 Dog Night had other songs besides "One"?

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

LOL! 'll bet that the bakery had that cake sitting around & decided to "recycle" it since they knew no one would buy it willingly. All they had to do was inscribe it & hope the person who ordered a plain birthday cake would love their little "upgrade"!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAutumn

I love that story. I've always said that if your last name can be a noun, you can't name your kid anything that can be an adjective (Misty Day, Rosy Robin, etc.). It never occured to me it could be an issue the other way, though! "Black, Guy"...I'm going to be giggling about that one all day. Ha!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

oh goodness i had that song rolling through my head even before i read the full post!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersamantha

Love the color matching between the flotsam and the 'water' (which looks an awful lot like 'clouds').

Maybe they ran out of white frosting. Let's pause and think about that, shall we? Then let's start planning a memorial service for 'common sense'. I can only imagine what that cake would look like.

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I laugh at Daisy's story. The office wasn't tryng to be socially awkward. :)

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTekoa

M.Dale, I also went to school with a Misty Day as well as her sister Stormy and their brother Murky. I shouldn't laugh though, I married a wonderful man with the last name Flowers so now I'm Daisy Flowers!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

And we were dancing and singing
And moving to the groovin
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around and shouted
Play that funky music White Guy
Then go put it on a cake!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThatDeborahGirl

I once knew a lady named Lily who married a man with the last name of White. I always thought that she must have loved him a lot.

Here's what I want to know about the order sheets at that bakery: why don't they have a space for writing in the inscription color? or a list of possible colors, so that the person taking the order can just circle the right color? Is it really that hard to come up with an order form that would make it easy to see what was being ordered?!! *taking a deep breath* Okay, I'm better now.

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRPainter

She wanted the ICING in WHITE and she even SAID so and here it is GREEN!!! WTF is wrong with some people?? I'm surprised they can even find their way out of their own front doors in the morning...

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJo

Yes I am one of those lurky stalkery types that looks but never comments, but this one I HAD to add to!
Hi. :-)
My husband and I met the most wonderful couple in their 50s or 60s on the airplane on our way to our honeymoon; can't remember his name but hers was Di.
Of course, the conversation very quickly got around to marriage and relationships what with us being on honeymoon and all.
Di and her partner weren't married, but she had me almost rolling in the aisle when she told me in her really posh accent about 'the chinless wonder' she almost married, but couldn't bring herself to. Not only was he a chinless wonder but his surname was Rea.

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIrene

Looks like (white) Guy is just about finished mopping up the lake. No, I don't know where he would wring out the mop. It's just what it looks like, ok? Anything to not have to deal with that inscription.

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I once knew a girl named Candy Cane.

Am I the only one who didn't get "white" out of that configuration of "letters" on the first read through? I saw a few more than 5 letters in there...

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

ok so the cake is histerical BUT Daisy's story....well let's just say it made my day!!!!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Oh My God, I needed that laugh soooooooooooo badly today!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMona

Thank you, for once again afirming why I will NOT do sheet cakes since i quit working for a bakery. OMG...cranking out sheets as fast as you can is it's own special form of hell. Clearly these decorators should have put the spatula down and walked away MUCH sooner. BACK AWAY FROM THE DECORATOR STATION!!!

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBetsy

But does he play that funky music?

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary Anne

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Weird Al reference! :D

"meka leka hi meka heiny heiny ho!"

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth A.

FYI, the sheets DO have a space for an inscription color. At least ours do.
That's what makes it so alarming.

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTashablueyes

I went to college with a guy named "Hunter Farmer". He made up a long list of occupations to string along at the end. Gotta have a sense of humor when you've been given a name like that. :P

As a side note, I worked for a guy saddled with the name of "Matt Dillon". LOL.

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

I'm on vacation but I popped in today, just in time to catch this LOL-worthy masterpiece. Good thing he's not fly fishing, or there'd be all kinds of jokes about him being 'pretty fly for a white guy' (we need a rim shot button!)

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Here is this little town we had Honey Dews and Polly Parrot. Really nice ladies but you wonder if they ever wrote their names to be down anywhere before they married those fellows. Not to mention a fellow named Rusty Peters

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

at least she didn't get him a cinnamon candy cake from Publix

oh, geez, the songs today WOOT

@Daisy I get the girls but "Murky?" they were just reaching into the depths with that one

@Irene thanks for delurking with that gem

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Nobody, and I mean nobody, will ever have a better silly name story than Lotta Plate and her gradeschool chum, Bitsy Crabbyshitz.

@ Elizabeth A. -- I love Weird Al too, but that's actually an Offspring reference. (Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis)

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Makes me wonder what kind of cake it ended up being since the wreckerator obviously thinks green is white lol. The cake probably ended up being some form of chocolate instead of yellow. I think all the wreckerators need to learn their colors all over again.. lol.

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

YELLOW Buttercream, WHITE icing, and neither color on the cake except, maybe, in the flotsom fisherman. Where did they go left instead of right?

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

Great posts, Daisy & Irene! :-)

I have a name story to add. My high school orchestra conductor was getting married & all the teachers were happy for him. (He'd been a bachelor for some time.) His fiancée was very pretty, too. But, we also heard that she refused to take his name. She wasn't being modern, either. Her name was Penny and his last name was (I kid you not)...Tittsworth.

(And if she'd married the assistant band director, she'd be Penny Pitts. Don't think she'd like that one either, though it does have a nice ring to it... :-)

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I have a friend, whose father's name was Balzer Dyck. When my mother introduced him to another (male) friend; the guy said "No thanks got some!"
And yes, my friend's middle name is Wanda.

How about this: female whose maiden name was Piggot; she married a Snotte. (not kidding)

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Is that last cake gushing blood as she cuts it?

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjojo

@kelticat: She ordered yellow cake, not yellow icing.

My last name sounds something like "booth," which used to cause confusion when I made restaurant reservations. They think I'm asking for a booth, and ask me if I'll settle for a table. Nowadays I just use my first name.

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBob

@KarateLady, the conductor's wife could have smiled sweetly at him and asked if he would mind changing his last name to Lane.

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTheardare

I went to South Park High School (it's in a suburb of Pittsburgh)

A classmate was Jeff Dick. (Our brothers are best friends). Jeff dated a lovely girl named (drum roll...) Anita White. She wouldn't marry him until after the brothers changed their last name to Richards after their dad died. Jeff and Anita have been together now 20+ years.

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue

On the funny name bit, it reminds me of a story I read in RD, pre-internet. A young lady went to a restaurant with her boyfriend and his mother. When she was asked about reservations she said oh no. After much confusion on both sides, she finally pointed to her boyfriend's mother, Yoko Ono.

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

@ Naomi - the only one I know is the Weird Al parody - I knew it was a parody of a song, but didn't know the original. I did look up the original on YouTube though, and I think I like the parody more. :D

"When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss
He'll always schlep on down for a wedding or a bris
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hip
The parents pay the mohel and he gets to keep the tip!"

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth A.

I got almost this exact same cake, minus the grass details in the clearance cart of my local supermarket. Mine was white cake with regular icing.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

As a Walmart cake decorator, I would just like to say that I, for one, wait to write on cakes when they have ridiculous stuff like that on the order. Of course, I also know how to follow the directions to make the cake look like the picture, how to make borders correctly, and how to write on a cake :P

July 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

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