My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

How It Might Have Happened

"Hello? Yes, I'd like to order a cake that looks like my husband's Audi. That's right, an Audi. And could you make it a nice coppery brown? Thanks!"


[Later that day]






Alisha E., don't tell me that's not really what happened, because I choose to believe it is. So there.

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Reader Comments (54)

I would rather that be the case, I would hate to think that was done on purpose D:

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Oh, god! That outie looks like quite a different hole in the human body, usually located on the other side...*hrrk!* ohhh there goes breakfast!

On a less disgusting note, they should've really washed those undies before wearing them; looks like the dye is starting to run ;)

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Wow! Wierd seepage from the speedo. Think he may be Vulcan.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspudd

Sung to "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" (Tomato, Tomahto)

I said, "An Audi."
You made an outie
I said, "It's awful."
You said, "It's pouty!"
Audi. Outie.
Awful. Pouty.
Let's call the whole thing off.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Sharyn hehehehehe

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

And how many people wear a bow tie with a bathing suit. And, Sharon, are you sure you want to call it off--think of what might be underneath!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

1st time caller, long time stalker. I finally had to leave a comment because you failed to mention the very brown, well defined nipples. Wowza!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha T.

Ok- just out of curiosity- is that man wearing women's panties? they are not shaped for a man's body- and they have little black hearts all over them...

Which begs me to ask the question, is this a woman? The chest is quite rounded- unlike a mans? What is up with the bow-tie- and the speedo pantie seepage?

I think those things are worse than the audi.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterummm?

The pecs(?) seem to have some sort of weird skin fungus.....

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephi

well...with no legs, we know he doesn't have Fiats....

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Is that a Werther's candy for the belly button?? And those peanut butter chips for the nips?? Generally, it's caramel and chocolate sauce for body paint....

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGirlNamedCorrie

Why brown? There usually isn't that much difference in color between the stomach and the belly button. This looks like someone put a tootsie roll in their innie belly button. Which makes an even stranger story for a cake...

And the bow tie is awful. And the 3D hearts on the other garment.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Umm... Not to put too fine a point on it, but that's not a male body shape... Which takes the "disturbing" on this wreck to a whole NEW level... (shudder)...

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Thank goodness that wasn't in "Magic Mike"!

Sharyn - well done! :-)

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

That's not an outie; that there's what we call a naple.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Besides the obvious... seriously, obvious.... wreckabilities mentioned... am I seeing a sliced up odd innie next to the outie?

I think we should 'wreck' whoever came up with spray color for icing. Does it really take that much effort to color icing? Are you truly never going to use that color icing again for another cake the same day? (considering the fact that these are 'professionally' done) I am continually amazed at the "oh, no, you didn't" moments that appear with spray color.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

I knew it was going to show an outie belly button before I saw the pic! ;-)

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSM3

Ew. Ew. Ew ew ew ew.

That is all.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

My initial reaction was that the outie was a cut-up piece of hot dog. I'm going to work on convincing myself that it's a tootsie roll.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermarfie

What the ??

Sharyn, brilliant as always! Thank you.

I haven't been cking in regularly for my "cakewrecks" fix, so, I may have missed something, but, has anyone heard from Craig lately? Hoping he's just on vacation....

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNew England Flybaby

khereva - lol!
I can't wait for my first opportunity to use "naple" in a conversation!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternoelnicole13

See, I didn't even get it because I don't pronounce Audi as Outie.. I pronounce it as Aw-di, the way they do in England. Nice of you to try to give the benefit of the doubt.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

I prefer to see Homer Simpson with a bow on his head. He's scared because he's just been hit with the Densaugeo curse and is trying to hide his still-growing...uh, flesh-colored... buck teeth behind a bandana. There! No innies, no outies, no DISMEMBERED BODY....oh. I guess Homer has been beheaded, though. He's part of the Headless Hunt!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Perhaps it's a male stripper on estrogen...
Perhaps it's a female stripper on testosterone...
Either way, I fail to see how stuffing a cork in ones belly-button helps with hormonal issues.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTenorspaz

It could be worse, that "Audi" could have been hiding in the speedo/panties.

**banging head on table** Seriously need some mental floss after this one!!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLony

Wow. A male stripper who wears women's panties and is still carrying his umbilical cord stump after all these years. I'm swooning already!

Amanda and Sharyn: Thanks for making breakfast hilarious!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

So many levels of wrongness. And seriously, does anyone know what the belly button is made from? I thought it was a wine cork at first, but the more I stared at it, the more I felt the need for eye bleach, so I stopped trying to figure it out.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

Ok, been stalking a long while and just had to comment on this one.

From the perspective of a RN, this looks like a post surgical patient that had a double mastectomy with nipple reconstruction as well as a colostomy stoma.

Nothing, absolutely NOTHING about this cake is appetizing...major "fail."

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStacy H.

@Trekkie Gal -- I think it's just a blob of the same icing they used for the nipples.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I'm with Marfie. Hot dog stump. I can't imagine what would come out if the stump was removed. Leaving now to dry heave.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlaxmom

@New England Flybaby: Craig's internet access is down at home, so he's stuck with the vagaries of public WiFi when he has the time. I'll send him a message and let him know you asked.

Oh, and it's Craig's birthday today, just FYI. (Maybe Theardare will let him out of the bunker...)

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

@Stephi-- I believe the fungus MAY be an attempt at chest hair ???

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDawnG

I'm so getting that for my hubby's next birthday.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudaxAudax

Jacob Black really let himself go!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYuffie

@mel: He also can't do deep knee Benz.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

@Sharyn: Thanks for the update! Tell Craig Happy Non-Stalker-y Birthday from me!

Oh, and @mel? Snerk!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

If that's what they do when you ask for an "Audi," I REALLY don't want to see what they'd do for a "Volvo."

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

For some reason, that belly button reminds me of a song from the early 90s by 20 Fingers. I don't think I can say the title of the song on this forum. But Googling it works. Especially if you add "featuring Gillette."

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

@Sharyn Thanks, I too was wondering what happened to Craig. Any info on Haiku Joy? We haven't heard from her either, in a long while.

@Craig HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (whenever you get to see this) We hope Theadare hasn't been giving you a rough time.

Nice coppery brown, alright! It's probably a good thing that there is no head.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

hmm, unless they haven't been approved yet there's no posts about John (thoJ)'s recent admission of his Vegas nom de plume...

@Sharyn business first- tell Craig I said "hippo birdie two ewes, hippo birdie two ewes, hippo birdie two ewes, deer, hippo birdie two ewes." now, that Volvo comment made me cry tears down my leg!!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Greetings from the bunker annex, brought to you by the vagaries (and schedule limitations) of public wi-fi. It's been an interesting month.

I finally get on here again, and this is what greets. At least it's not a baby cake. It is, however, yet another demonstration of the fact that 'could' and 'should' are not synonyms.

Theardare has been uncharacteristically quiet, I know, but he should be back in fine fettle any day. Just as soon as he finds out what a 'fettle' is. Sounds like something one would see on Cake Wrecks. But I digress.

Thanks, New England Flybaby, Sharyn and Andrea. It's good to be missed. (sniff...)

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

...and Ela and Barbara Anne. Posting sequence, din' ye ken.

I just had the most dreadful mental image of a cake bearing the 'hippo birdies' message. SO hoping that wreckorators don't read this site looking for ideas (though I suspect they do)...

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@Craig -- Happy Birthday! Hope your internet is back up soon and your back here as usual!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

hahahaha....that is pretty crazy. wow.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFork and Whisk

I had to take a second look to see what the outie was made out of.. and I am full of remorse lol. I don't think I want to know what was in the mind of the customer once they saw this cake. Other than throwing it at the wreckerator I really don't see them wanting to take it home. It scars and scares me lol.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Why... Dear God why?! Why is there poop in your husbands bellybutton and how did it get there?! *faints*

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenC

I know I'm a day late, but I just couldn't suppress...

Ode to Umbilicus

Coppery brown rectus sheath
Cannot hide what lies beneath
Towering above like a ficus
Out bursts Umbilicus!

Is it just odd omentum?
Is it part of the peritoneum?
Much larger in the presence of ascites
This wreck is no Aphrodite

Up above it gets more serious
Hard to tell if those mammaries are lactiferous
Oddly rounded pectoralis lays
This wreck could easily swing both ways

Innie, Outie
Volvo, Audi,
Umbilicus sure is rowdy!!

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Awww. Happy Birthday Craig! We miss you! Give Theardare a big squish from me, even though he won't like it.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

How did that even happen?? And what's up with the chest? 0_o

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNothing But The Tooth

I've got to admit, I've never seen a cake that looks like it just underwent a Radical Mastectomy, and one done in Tijuana no less.


December 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

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