My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Fee Fi Fo Fana!

Yesterday we learned that writing names on cake can result in some pretty unfortunate nicknames.

But what if you already have an adorable nickname? Like "Briana Banana?" How do you wreck that up?

Well, in that case, I supppose the baker could always misspell it.

But that's kind of boring, right? So, let's see... what if - hypothetically - the baker mispelled "banana", but then also, instead of drawing a banana on the cake, she tossed a real, unpeeled banana on top?

No, wait - first she should shrink-wrap the banana and draw a smiley face on it with a Sharpie. Eh? And then tie a bunch of curly ribbon around the banana stem. Totally.

And then - THEN - just because all of that makes way too much sense, the baker could sprinkle something really ridiculous all around the shrinkwrapped smiley-face banana with curly ribbon tied on its stem. Something like...I dunno...little tiny dog bones.

Yeah. That would be one AWESOME wreck. Hypothetically speaking, of course.


Right, April A.?


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Reader Comments (52)

Anyone could see that those are banana flavored dog bones...

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Ok, too early for my brain to be reading. I saw "banana peel" & was all "gross!!!" until I scrolled down. :P At least the banana is not directly touching the frosting. :)

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

I think it would be cool if the wreckerator would spell banana wrong too. That would put it over the top.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy in Nashville

Sung to the Oscar Mayer Jingle (My bologna has a first name…)

My banana isn’t spelled right, it has an extra N
It’s also wrapped in shrink wrap. Can I see that again?
Gonna throw my birthday cake away.
Why’d you use those dog bones anywaaaaaay?

‘Cause Wreckerators have a way with ruining nice cakes every day.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

What, no olives or candy canes?

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRamey

I bet they were out of the banana-shaped runts, and used the yellow dog bones instead (they're longer than they are wide, just like bananas!).

At least the writing is legible. After yesterday's post, that's a plus.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Yeah, so guess what the family is getting in their stockings this year? Nothing says "Merry Christmas" or "I love you" like a shrink-wrapped banana with a handmande, sharpie face on it. Also, how inexpensive are bananas? You just grab a bunch at the store, gather your supplies at home, and get all creative; I say this baker is a genius.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKSLSRocks

Nah, I disagree. I think this cake is fun and awesome! Ok, except for the misspelled "bananna." And the way the banannna was jammed into the cake, creating a mini frosting crater and smearing it on the banannnnna face.

But mostly, I just like saying "banannnnnna."

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Guess the wreckorator doesn't listen to Gwen Stefani!

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Am I the only one who sees a shrink wrapped banana and remembers the condom-covered bananas featured in a high school sex ed class? Anyone?

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

Most wreckorators could thank Gwen Steffani for teaching them how to spell banana :)

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentershe-she

maybe the banana is shrink-wrapped so it doesn't lose its a-peel....or maybe the banana is shrink wrapped, tied down with ribbon and stuck in the cake 'cause everyone knows -- fruit flies....

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

...okay, I actually kind of love this (except for the dog bones and extra N). It's hilarious. I am totally decorating cakes with smiley fruit from now on. That makes it health food, right?

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

I didn't even need to bother looking at the picture you had conjured up such a wonderful image!

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNatasha (Nevie-Pie Cakes)

I love the use of piping to cover the misshapen edges of the cake.. Oh, never mind.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMark

@Sharyn -- awesome as always; thanks for the smile.
Jen &John: I love your hypothetical set ups. What an awful wreck!

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Ramey, we need a hand-slapping laughing smiley for your post!

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

EPIC. Just... EPIC. This wreck is screwed up on almost every conceivable level. The only reason it doesn't QUITE achieve "WINNING!!!!" is because it lacks random piles of brown frosting poo.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

@Sharyn - WoW! I must be tuned in to your wavelength today. My first thought was

Cuz wreckerators have a way with B-A-N-A-N-N-A's. Great minds and all.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermaggiew

I don't think Briana is Happy with her Birthday Bananna. At. All.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

That is so wrong. I'm almost surprised that they didn't use one of the over-ripe spotted bananas just to get rid of it.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

I don't actually hate the banana. Dog bones are a bit odd, they should have done banana runts.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Even monkeys dislike that cake.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

I once saw a taping of the Letterman Show live, and there was a dramatic reading of several popular songs- one of them was Gwen Stephani's B-A-N-A-N-A song.... the other was My humps....

They were both hilarious read as dramatic poetry.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterthis SH**

Not being a native speaker I'd never heard of banana runts and had to google them. What fun! We Europeans have them too, but ours aren't hard candy but more like marshmallows. I really enjoyed everything about this post -- that is, including the comments!

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPernille

The banana thing is one reason I've always hated my name.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmika B

Strangely, I think this one actually has something going for it. Maybe it's the fetching smiley face on the banana, and that they took the trouble to make a seamless wrap to make that possible. Somehow it doesn't quite feel like the other sloppy, lazy "innovations" we see around here.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStringman

Okay, am I the only one who thinks from the look on that banana's face that there isn't more going on here? That, combined with the "bones" makes me wonder what the decorator had in mind.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGutter-minded

Ummm, is it just me, or does that frosting crater bear a suspicious resemblance to a wreckorator's right thumb on the Briana side and several fingers on the Banananananana (whoops, got carried away there) side?

Even thou I'm in new Zealand am I the only one that remembers 9 11 is today thou technacliy it is9 12 for me !!?!¿¡ Peace to my nz homies

[Editor's note- Hi Katiezz. Of course we remember the tragedy of 9/11 but our job is to lift people up and hopefully bring a smile to someone who desperately needs it. Today, more than ever. -john]

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatiezz

Between the banana and the dog bones that is one phallic cake. Yikes. Poor Brianna. I hope she got a laugh out of it.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCathy in NOLA

When I first saw the pic, I thought the dog bones were the only thing really wrong with it. I actually find the banana concept cute -- a little odd, but fun. I don't think the cake's as wrecky as you think it is.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

This one is pretty epic. Well shared, Cake Wrecks.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAC

‘Cause Wreckerators have a way with ruining nice cakes every day. <~~~Awesome! Now it's stuck in my head! Thanks Sharyn :)

And I suppose, hypothetically, maybe this one isn't so bad. Nah, it's still a wreck no matter how many times I scroll back up and look.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Oh dear, it's so bad it"s good :D Sharyn thanks for the giggles. XD

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Epic Wreck. A wreck so terrible its awesome.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMe

I don't think that's sharpie. It looks too 3d to me. my guess is icing. on the outside of shrink wrap.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulia B

Every time I look at it, this cake reminds me of a line in an epic book written by the great Terry Pratchett, "Witches Abroad"--"Nanny Ogg knew how to START spelling 'banana', but she didn't know how you stopped." (If you haven't become acquainted with Mr. Pratchett yet, you really should. He's hilarious on PURPOSE.)

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@mel: LOL

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

SaraCVT - I hope that doesn't make this Bananana Cake Surprise.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter217hz

that popping sound you hear isn't the fire swamp about to spew flames- it's the poor synapses in my head shorting out. WTF?

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Katiezz, a lot of us remember that today is 9 11. But as we remember, we also know that all is not ashes and mourning. And sometimes humor is the best way to keep things going. I worked with paramedics and paramedic humor can be very black. It also diffuses a lot of tension and pain. So laughing at wrecked cakes is not such a bad way to spend a few minutes today (or yesterday, in New Zealand).

And trust me, the people who follow the teachings that "inspired" them to fly planes into buildings see nothing at all funny in cakes. One of the major leaders of that philosophy declared, "there is no laughter in Islam," at least not in his kind. All the more reason to take a few minutes and laugh.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLittleRed1

Ok. Classic wreck. But I'm gonna weigh in on behalf of poor Briana. Being called "Diana Banana" as an impressionable youngster - It is NOT an adorable nickname. It is awful. Loathsome. Totally yucko.

Even now, if someone says it out loud, I cringe. I HATED IT.

To have the insult added to injury in the form of that cake - well, I can only hope Briana is a) not scarred for life - since the cake has been immortalized for all time and b) that she is getting therapy.

Fortunately for me, I moved on and became an archaeologist. Now people call me "Indiana Diana". That I can take.

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Some props are in order. :)
This person knew their limitations and went for the real thing instead of trying to make the fruit from yellow frosting. It is shrink wrapped for Hygiene and Cleanliness. It's almost like the maker was saying "Happy Birthday! Have some fancied up potassium. You're welcome."

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMmquecee

I looked at this early this morning, and like Barbara Anne, my synapses started shorting out, too. I simply could not process it all.

So now it's 11 pm and I'm looking again and I still can't process it. Especially the dog bones. Why, why, WHY?

@Sharyn: Classic! Th only thing that made sense!

September 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Lol well it could be worse that banana could have been made with brown frosting..and ugh how gross would that have been? Still clueless as to why they put little dog bones on there unless those are candies. My brain has ceased to function trying to work this one out.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene


Well, if it is, this is going to be a one of Briana's more memorable birthdays. (Or maybe not...) She might start singing about a hedgehog.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

It's a cake with its own visual aid! This was actually very helpful of the baker, considering the misspelled word; otherwise, the recipient might not have know what a "bananna" is. Plus, the fruit is edible, in case the cake isn't. So, in a way, we could argue that the baker was being considerate and innovative, not random and flawed.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTxteacher

SaraCVT, how right you are! (And it's just as well you don't quote the lyrics of the hedgehog song -- let people google these for themselves.) I adore Pratchett, and I'm very sorry he seems to have stopped his "Witches" sub-series.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPernille

Well, I went to 'The Name Game'. Which must never be sung with 'Chuck' as the subject, but I digress.

As to the dog bones...

To paraphrase Ursula K. LeGuin in 'The Lathe of Heaven', "One must stop understanding at that which cannot be understood. Those who cannot do it will be destroyed on the Lathe of Wreckorators."

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

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