My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Are You Kidding Me?

Happy "Kids Take Over The Kitchen" Day, everyone!

In honor of this happy occasion I'd like to take a moment to salute all the bakeries out there who've chosen to celebrate in the most literal of fashions.


Sure, it seems a little unorthodox, but I think inviting children between the ages of 4 and 9 to take up your piping bags for an entire day - and in a professional bakery, no less - is inspiring. Brave, even!

Granted, it's also unsanitary and possibly illegal, but hey, let's focus on the positive here.


For example, would you believe most customers never even noticed the swap?

 When asked if she knew a child of seven had made her cake that day, one shopper at a local Tierful Tasties responded, "You mean he doesn't always make the cakes here? Seriously? Ok, now I'm really confused."


Others praised the improved artwork and spelling, noting how much better the quality of goods was:


For their part, the kids took to their new decorating duties with a zeal, creating everything from charmingly drawn houses... "balloons"... Justin Bieber cakes.

 Lots and LOTS of Justin Bieber cakes.


What no one could have predicted, of course, was that the combination of kids and an unlimited supply of sugar would result in a few... er...unfortunate incidents.


Some bakeries lost an entire month's worth of sprinkles in just a few hours...

...while others are already hiring professional cleaning crews for the walls and ceilings.

 A small price to pay, however, for work of this caliber.

 In fact, bakers tell me nothing the children created was deemed "unsellable," and absolutely everything made it to store shelves as-is. Amazing!


One bakery even went so far as to use this child's "electric razor or possibly a dress surrounded by earth worms" cake in their front display window:


 While others encouraged the kids to put their finger-painting skills to good use: 


Or dabble in the more abstract art of, and I quote, "My Little Pony Poop:"


Best of all, a few kids even tried to write on their cakes, which I think we can all agree is freaking ADORABLE.

Can't you just imagine a little six-year-old with his chubby little fingers wrapped around a piping bag, tongue sticking out in concentration? Right? Seriously, I'm tearing up over here, it's just so darn cute.

 So thank you, bakeries, for making today special the best way possible, and also for making my job of making it look like you employ five-year-olds so stinking easy. 

Also thanks to Amanda M., Celia B., Marissa M., Jessica F., Anony M., Manda, Kendell J., Rachel S., Kris D., Mariah H., Anne L., Emily F., & Bridgette O. for kidding around with us. Give your inner child a lollipop for me, guys.

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Reader Comments (46)

"Feliz Dia" Happy Day Indeed

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpakajack

Looks like a bad round of Draw Something

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrisG

Sung to “Doggie in the Window”

How much is that odd cake in the window?
The one with all the frosting trails?
I have to assume it was on purpose
And not just a huge EPIC FAIL.

The next one depicts a happy playground
Kids go there when they leave the bus
Today, though, they had to take a detour
To avoid all the panda pus.

The rainbow sperm are all eating cupcakes
Before they go finish their home
They tore half it down because of mold spores
And made it a Bieber-free zone.

The tribbles are sporting lots of hair paint
It turned all their spoor pink. Oh no!
We’re gonna have to shave them with a razor
Before the next time that they go.

Sometimes you just need a ball of fire
To clean up all the pony plops
It blinds you just enough that it won’t matter
You can’t read the yellow cake’s top.

How much are the odd cakes in the window?
I hope they’re on a clearance sale
You can’t pass them all off on your children
That kind of fraud lands you in jail.

Does that first cake remind anyone of the time "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" (but her initials are S.L.) wrecked a cake? I can almost hear her saying, "See, add a few cookies and suddenly it's worth 6 million dollars..."

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

kiddy litter.....

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

OMG. What in the world is the first one supposed to look like???? I slowly scrolled through and just kept muttering, " oh, my." softly under my breath. These are worse than bad, worse than aweful. I can only imagine that these wreckorators were visually impaired, or had the cakes covered with a cardboard box with only 2 arm holes so they could reach in and decorate without seeing what they were doing. I cannot immagine ANYone thinking someone would actually pay money for these.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandy also in SoFla

It's a tough choice when you're making a balloon CCC: do you follow the edges of the cupcakes, or do you have balloons that go outside the lines?

And I totally believe the customers never caught onto the swap. :)

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

The mind boggles O_o Sharyn thanks for the laughs XD

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Even Justin's mom got some recognition. You go Mrs. Bieber!

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMark

I have a 5 year old boy who likes to help me cook. So, for the last cake:

Look, Mommy! I made you a cake!

Yes, you did, and I'm so proud of you! Stop! Now you have to go wash your hands.

/whine/ Again?!

Yes, if you're going to help me cook you have to wash your hands after you pick your nose. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim L.

okay, for a minute toward the end I was acutally lost in the cute-ness of that kid WRITING on their cakes... and then I REMEMBERED that probably didn't happen. "Are you KIDDING Me?!" indeed!

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

first cake looks like Big Bird had a stomach virus.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

LOL!!! Ahhhh..... such wonderful wrecks this morning! Thanks, Cake Wrecks!

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Aww . . . the balloons are hugging! (Picture 4, where they spelled "Happy Birthday) correctly)

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

I can't be the only one "do you see what I see?"ing a little bit about the charmingly drawn house cake, right? Right?

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I find it impossible to NOT laugh at the dancing Beiber-stickman thingie.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

My Little Pony Poop!! ROFLOL!

And a 6-yr old squeezing a piping bag = frosting coming out the top in a big ol' BLOOP!

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaLaLarisa

That's not a razor or a dress. It's a very precise cheese grater.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

Oh, if only this story were true- it would explain so much. It makes me shudder to think that adults- earning a salary for it no less- created these travesties.

Sharyn- No, you were not the only one for whom S.L came to mind. I'm sure the only way she could improve on these cakes would be to add some corn nuts and apple pie filling. :)

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

Gold Traditional WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? Gold Traditional we-ran-out-of-gold / sub orange? WHAT? Tell me, please...

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

1. Those are obviously "rays of sunshine"

2. The Haunted Playground (you can tell it's haunted by how squiggly it is) where the Grumpy Ghost flings clumps of grass at unsuspecting visitors and yells "Get off my lawn!". I've taken the tour, so I know. It's very chilling.

3. Ahhh, yes. The day Mr. Smiley went off his nutter and knocked down all the trees in town. No one knows for sure what caused it, but it is said he can still be heard muttering, "You want a nice day? I'll give you a nice day..."

4. Ah! A rare find! The depiction of a very short lived fad in the Victorian era where the wigs were decorated with colorful Unicorn horns.

7. Is that a scene from the time Justin was on CSI? I love the chalk outline.

8. This is what happens when you eat too many marshmallow peeps on Easter.

9. That looks suspiciously like a type of dog food we used to buy...

10. "It's not wormy enough! Scrape it off and do it again!"

11. Traditionally speaking, isn't 'Gold' a little less Orange than that?

12. I think someone is doing The Drugs.

13. No. I can't...That's not really...Seriously? That's not even a word! Just random letters running down the side of the cake! I think we should call 911 because the wreckorator is obviously in some kind of medical distress. No, really.

Thanks, Jen for another day that started out funny ("oh, look at all the poorly decorated cakes! Hahaha!") and ended up just depressing ("Woe is me! One cannot journey to the Grocery to find baked goods that please the eye! I shall pluck out mine eyes until the beautious baked goods return!")

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I would have bought the Bieber cake for the sole purpose of acquiring the "JB is my destiny" pin. So full of delusional teenage angst, I just cannot resist.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

I like how it looks like the balloons on the fourth cake are hugging each other. Aww....

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

I'm a little worried about astronaut Bieber's skinny little leg.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCakeNinja

11: If that one won gold, I'd hate to see what took bronze.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWill

Looks like Justin Bieber taking a cover of "Major Tom" a little too far. If only...

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

This may just be the librarian in me, but I see the artistic influence of Maurice Sendak's "Where the Wild Things Are" speaking on the Bieber cake. Doesn't he look like he's dressed like Max and ready for a wild rumpus?

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDee Ann

And I saw a knapsack in which slme kid brought his pet worms to school for show and tell. Poor kid they escaped....

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermimi

That's not Justin Bieber. That's the Venus of Willendorf!

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarilyn H

Hey, give 'em a break--it's really hard to draw/decorate balloons in mid-deflate.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

I, too, could invoke the SL for these, except that I didn't see any decor-matching frosting 'improved' with "a dash" (three cups) of extra vanilla extract, cocoa powder, alum, allspice, liquid nitrogen, sand (for texture), and enough food coloring to 86 the hardiest lab rat. There was also a shortage of giant candles (she probably bought them all).

Thanks for the list, Andrea. My muse will probably return when home internet does.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Call me crazy but I kind of like the second one even though it looks like the sun is melting the swings and slide.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

I don't think any kid did any of these, just your usual hamfisted, spelling impaired regulars.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJo

Shame on all of you for picking on KIDS!!!

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterguest

I'm starting a fan club for the hugging balloons. Lisadh, Jasini, come join me. We will make it mandatory in our little kingdom that all giant cookies MUST be decorated with hugging balloons. Yes, yes, mandatory I say.

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSophia

Looks like the decorator for the first cake was told "you can go home once the frosting is gone". So they grabbed the biggest piping tip they could find, and proceeded to empty the bag onto the next cake. Voila--it's gone now, and I can go home!

September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

Well my brain froze just trying to figure out what that first one is. My first thought is maybe it could be Rapunzel lol. Other than that no clues are coming to me. I did think the playground one was sort of cute and liked the happy birthday one just because it was spelled correctly. Way to go wreckerators!

September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I see they ran out of gold stars so the kids just got a sticker that says gold.

September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStrangeMamma

I went through the whole post pretending it really was kids that did this as it makes perfect sense. The reality is too depressing.

I do like cake number two though. The wind is making the jello slide shake.

September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaoirse

The 'gold' cake could have potential if they'd mixed in some other colors of the spectrum and entirely covered the white and... well, redid the whole cake. But it sure isn't gold.

Though personally I think the house cake looks like the explanation plans for a smuggling operation.

September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCoffeetailor

You used my idea! Yay!

September 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlien Girl

I did it! I finally made it on here! After YEARS of waiting (my co workers doubted me, because they say I can't make a bad cake, but I sure showed them!) a cake I doomed has finally made it on here. I have been a decorator for three years, and I'm pretty great at it. The My Little Pony Poop, well, I don't know why, but I decided to make a cake that looked like a hippy threw up on it. Because no one would buy a cake that looked like THAT. Sad thing is, someone did. I'm terribly excited though that I was able to grace my favorite blog! Now I can stop wrecking cakes on purpose and just rely on the every once in awhile bad day. And that picture is super old, I made that cake my first week of decorating at Wal Mart almost three years ago, lol.

September 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrudellia


September 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

back when I was a professional wreckerator at a local bakeshop, I hosted a cake decorating class with my daughter's girl scout troop, about five fifth and sixth grader, and I must say the cakes they produced were beautiful compared to those above...however, they were all donated to the local fire departments, not sold!

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanet

I totally bought the 5 year olds take over bakery bit with increasing disbelief. The one with the gold 'finger painting'..BAD!!

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKee

Ah, Feliz Dia
to you, too. What did the doc
prescribe? That good, huh?

January 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

These remind me of when we lived in Texas and the local Winn Dixie bakery was to make my son's birthday cake. When they handed it to me (I wish I had taken a pix) my jaw dropped and I just stared at the person who gave it to me. I asked for the manager. She came out and I asked what happened. It was not in the colors I had ordered and the writing was reminding me a 5 year old's skill. It came out "Hapy Berthday Alix" Come to find out the "new cake decorator" was Mexican and didn't speak any English - WHAT? Fortunanately, the manager redid the cake.

March 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPugglesx2

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