My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Minor Oversight

Your first mistake, my dear Wreckies, was in being so positive and supportive of yesterday's post that some of you even asked to see some of the posts John *won't* let me publish.

So again, in my defense: you asked for it. 

Here's one that's been languishing in my drafts folder for nearly a year, and it still makes me snort-giggle - but I can guarantee there is NO WAY you all will find it as amusing as I do. You just won't. Trust me. You'll think it's cute and adorable and I'm a terrible person for laughing.

Or you'll laugh, too, and then we can nod knowingly at each other from across crowded rooms, as if to say, "Yeah, I'm a terrible person, too. S'all good."



A Minor Oversight:

Sadly, God neglected to add air holes.



Thanks to Anony M., the first newly inducted member of the Terrible Person Club.

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Reader Comments (223)

I am a horrible, horrible person. Who can't stop laughing.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

while the cake is fairly cute and well executed ... the first thing I saw (I try to guess your comments before scrolling down) was the lack of air holes for the owner of the darling feet ... at least they won't be carving up a live baby, eh?

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShout4Joy

Nods knowingly at Jen.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

I'm a Terrible Person, too!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

I'll be over on the far side of the room. giving you a nod...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterD

*snort-giggle, followed by barely-restrained guffaws*

BAHAHAHA that's awesome! And yes we are terrible people. :)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

The kid's probably using a "Monster Snorkel" (TM) from The Far Side - a device that lets you breathe while sleeping under the covers, thus thwarting the monsters lurking under the bed.

When you're older, they're called CPAP machines...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRepubAnon

I wouldn't have gone there without your comment. But I totally think it's funny. Happily nodding from across the room...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie T

Obviously this was made by a perfectionist who couldn't poke holes in perfect fondant. But then I am not a perfectionist and have no problem poking holes in their airless bag.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterME

It's freaking adorable! But alas, even fondant babies need air. Maybe they need like a giant stork holding the bag...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I was raised Baptist and wish I had a nickle for every time the preacher said "Humpty Dumpty's are gifts from God".

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDeacon's Daughter

*blink blink* =heads out to get more coffee=

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAudax

It's a pity because actually that cake, in many ways, is well-crafted. My first thought though was it doesn't fit proportionately, and we were dealing with a headless baby (again). But that comment regarding airholes.... oh man, I'm still laughing! Yep, I too am a terrible, horrible no-good very bad person!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

Trying desperately to not cackle hysterically. I am a Terrible Person. <giggle>

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnnieD

Hooray for being terrible people. -gigglesnort- ....forgot the air holes.... -gigglesnort-

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEsselyn

It's a nicely done suffocating baby. There's that.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

(Not so) Shamefully goes to the "terrible people" corner.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

Sung to "A Whole New World"

Some holes for "Girl"
It's the first thing that you should do
I didn't see it, no. Jen told me so.
And now the tears are streaming.

Some holes for "Girl"
I guess I'm a bad person, too.
'Cause, as I'm scrolling here, it's crystal clear
That cake could use a row of holes or two
(Now I'm laughing at the cake with you.)

Jen, we're terrible people. I'll save you a place in the bunker. I'm bringing donut holes...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

You are a sick, sick individual. It's why I love you. I now have to go clean up the coffee that came flying out of my nose...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Now that you mention it, the old myth about storks delivering babies in sacks is a little creepy.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

This terrible person just pulled something to keep from disrupting the entire office with over-the-top laughter. Terrible people, unite!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I'm such a terrible person for laughing at this. More!!!! :)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

OMGoodness, that poor child! God drops the bag and this poor girl is crushed by Gods inability to aim. I am a horrible, horrible, person. I too cannot stop laughing.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Oh man, The Terrible People Club is growing larger by the minute! Where do I pick up my membership card - over there, by the bunker, from Theardare? Do I need to show two forms of ID, or will one do?

Maybe the baker thought enough air would seep in around the feetie holes?

Add me to the Terrible Person group. It's actually a lovely cake - take the feet away and it still is.

@ Deacons Daughter - I was raised Baptist myself and never heard that. Too funny. I did get the oft-repeated "hell in a handbasket" though and non-Baptists have always looked at me funny when I say it :)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDaphne24

Positively hooting with laughter! Score one for the sick puppies!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterOne of the Sarahs

I love you Jen!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoelle

S'all good,"snort-giggle"

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

*waves gleefully* I'm a terrible person too!

I don't know. Something about the way the feet stick out makes me think this particular gift from God didn't actually need air holes.

That being said, props to the quite talented baker on a very nicely executed cake.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaraethon

1.) I think we would make the papers if we all attended a funeral together.
2.) I find it odd the baker felt holes were needed for the feet, but nothing else. Perhaps, it was to clarify what was in said bag... I'll just leave that hanging...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLee

Nods from across the room. S'up...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPaulR

It didn't say it was a living gift from God...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Isn't it ironic that the things I find funny are directly proportionate to the things that make me a terrible person??? Too cute, but I am a terrible, horrible, no-good person. :)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

One of the few posts that actually made me laugh out loud. I'm a horrible person.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I am another proud member of the Terrible Person Club (TPC). I think we need some kind of secret handshake or member sign so we know another member when we meet them. Someone want to get to work on that?

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Explains the "sucked in" look of the blanket....I would have put the inscription on a toe tag.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTom

As a friend of mine would say, "gigglesnort."

Thanks for the chuckles this morning

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

I'm laughing my way to the terrible person club. But really I thought something had been dropped on the baby, wicked witch style.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

@RepubAnon Bahahaha! I will never think of a CPAP machine without thinking of Gary Larson now. Thanks.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAGermany

@akathleen Some days are like that!!!
@RepubAnon *giggle*

Is this the line up? ...for The Terrible People Group? ...I hope Theardare is in a good mood today; it may be a long line up. I think that I will flex my scratching finger while standing in line and I should bring treats.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Another terrible person right here! I snorted and chuckled for a few minutes! This is one of my favorite posts actually...what does that say about me?

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

My initial response:

"AHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Hee hee hoo! Oh man..."

Yep, I'm a terrible person, too. Although, I must note, I could not bring myself to slice into any cake that resembled an actual baby, so I must have some saving graces in there somewhere.

Still, I learned from Tom Lehrer in my tender formative years that it really is much more fun to be a terrible person of a certain stripe. Good to know there are plenty of us out there!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShelbyG

Hi, my name is mindy, and I am a member of the terrible person club HI MINDY it's well done other than that.

Sharyn bwahahaha

Got my George plushie :D

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Hi. My name is Heather and I am a Terrible Person. *Hi, Heather!"

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Absolutely right.
What a tasteless idea.
I mean, cheetah Crocs?

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Well, let's see. I could be all charitable and stuff, postulating an air passage that is partially hidden from view yet not obstructed by the giant bow. But in association with the overall competence of execution (what an unfortunate dual meaning), that would mean that this isn't...well, let's just not go there, shall we. ("At the Copa...") Sorry. Dang flashbacks...

Arguing against that position, however, are the dalmatian-hide shoes, what appears to be a band-aid on the bear, and yes, a rather perplexing proportioning problem. Think I'll just call 'issues' on this one and go help Theardare check in Club Ted members. He's affecting a handlebar mustache to avoid embarrassing explanations about the recent 'addition' to the atrium decor, which makes him look like a feline sideshow barker. I know, cats don't bark -- just work with it, 'k?

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Yep, I'm a terrible person, too.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDang

Hi, I'm SaraV. ("Hi SaraV") And I...*choked sob* a terrible person.

Not to mention...I don't believe newborn babies are able to sit up by themselves.

zoomom - Ooo. We could have badges or lapel pins, and Sharyn could write our club song to be sung at the open of every meeting. We need to start organizing a bake sale. (No CCC's! *ptooie!*)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Log time lurker, LOVE the books, the comments and of course the cakes, but this cake? LOVE the toes..too real..but wink wink nod nod...snort giggle.. repeat...hilarious....all the more so because the cake is awesome.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJane

OMG. Laughing so much!

(standing up) Hello, my name is LeAnn and I am a bad person. I first realized I was a bad person on Wednesday, January 23, 2013 when Jen (a blog friend of mine [can I call you a friend]) posted a picture that made me laugh...I'm a horrible person.

Thank you for understanding. (sitting back down in a VERY crowded room)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterleannwoo

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