My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The REAL King Cake [Replay]

In honor of his birthday, I'd like to do an Elvis post today. However, I realize many of our younger readers may not be familiar with The King. So listen up, whipper snappers! Picture an older, more talented, better looking, Southern Justin Bieber wearing a white, bedazzled jumpsuit.


Also, he may or may not be dead.


Maybe don't picture that part.


Right. All together now? Then let's get started!


This is Elvis:

Rawr! Ffft ffft...


This... not Elvis.  I'm thinking either Ray Liotta or Wayne Newton.



Not Elvis:

John claims this looks like Jimmy Durante. It's like I don't even know who he is anymore. (John, I mean. Jimmy I had to wiki.)





I'm going with Liza Minelli.



Oh! Wait! I know this one!

The Brawny paper towel guy!


And finally, Elvis:


Queen Amidala. Or maybe one of the guys from Menudo. (Thanks, John!)

No, no, I'm staying with Amidala.


Thanks to Paula H., Diana C., Connie B., and Chrissy K. who are all, collectively, nuthin' but hound dogs. And oh! The crying! ALL the TIME! Enough, already!

Ah thank you. Thankyouverramuuuch.


Update from john: The Munsters! The last one looks like the kid from The Munsters! I knew it was something with an "M" from my childhood.

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Reader Comments (88)

First one looks like christopher walken

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSteph p

Elvis is not dead. He just went home.
Which is good because he'd probably cry looking at these cakes.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

Number 4 reminds me of Tom Jones...

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKevin

I think the first looks like Christopher Walken, and the last is Eddie Munster. Now I want a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

The last one is definitely Eddie Munster, and I'm pretty sure the Love Me Tender cake is the puppet from Wayland and Madame.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

The third one is clearly Don Knotts.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterInez S.

Sung to "Return to Sender"

Sent my husband to the bakery
To get my birthday snack
But then early the next morning
I sent the darn cake back

I wrote upon it:
Return to Baker, Elvis unknown
Is it Ray Liotta, or a Durante clone?
Liza Minelli? Brawny stud?
Eddie Munster? Who cares, it's a dud.

Return to Baker...

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The Brawny paper towel one looks like O.J. Simpson.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkristy

That second cake looks like Jay Baruchel.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

@Kristy: You beat me to it. Number 4 is definitely OJ.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBob

The Brawny guy looks like my cousin who looks like Elvis.
So it's pretty close.

PS My cousin wanted me to add that he "doesn't look like $%#&*@ Elvis."
(But he does.)

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The "Liza Minelli" cake totally looks like Madame from Madame's Place! Seriously...Google it if you don't remember her.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

WHAT are the eyes in the first one made of???

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I've got tears of laughter dripping on the keyboard as I type this. All I could think was that these cakes all looked like bad portrait tattoos. The lesson from Ink Master, season 2, is: A free tatoo is not a bargain.

Thank heavens these are only cake!

And in honor of The King, we'll be watching some old Elvis movies tonight. Maybe the Hawaii one, or the Seattle one. But not that one where he's a social worker in the ghetto and the songs provide brief relief from the dreadful dialog.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

Cakes may not contain
actual ingredients,
except doughnut Rex.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Okay, cake #1 is seriously scary--except for those striped socks tucked under his collar.
Cake 2 is that cake from the old tv DArk Shadows.
Cake 3 is John Lennon wearing those red wax lips (Why? Because.)
Cake 4 is OJ--with donuts across the top.
Cake 5 is Peter Lorre playing the Hunchback.

If Elvis IS alive, he needs to sue some cake decorators.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

If he were dead he'd be rolling over in his grave.

@normajean, did you see the first Men in Black?

Sharyn and haiku joy as always XD XD

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Love this site and normally lurk but don't speak. The minute you said Elvis I had houndog stuck in my head then you ended it with the line from hound dog and now it will be in my head all day. There are worse ear worms. =D

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPuddyKat

I see Quentin Tarantino in the first one. Surprised there weren't any cakes that just said "Elvis" on them.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNiki M

Being a heretic, I never really thought Elvis was that good looking . . . until I saw these cakes.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJennwith2ns

The first one is Ray Liotta and Justin Bieber's secret love child.

Here's a Spork. Please go into the bathroom to gouge out your Third Eye, as it can get a bit messy.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

1. Christopher Walken ( who was blond as a young man- we saw him on an old Hawaii 5-0)
2. Vincent Price as a young man
3. Frank N. an old man(or whatever) sans dentures.
4. Antonio Banderas.
5. Eddie Munster.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIrene

I used to write love letters to Elvis when I was a littler girl-- his name was one of the first words I learned to spell. I cried when"died."
Thanks for the memories,even of the Munsters!!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTeacher

I thought the Brawny Paper towel one looked like Chuck Connors.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKrysmon

Honestly, some of them aren't that bad. The first one just needs a heavier jaw.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJo

#2 is Humphrey Bogart. Not a great Humphrey Bogart, but certainly more like Bogie than Elvis.

And I agree about OJ Simpson. Totally him.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

#2-- It's Richard Belzer from Law and Order!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Number 3: Not Liza Minelli, Elvis after Madamism.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMolly Grue

The Brawny cake: those look like waffles to me....waffles with chocolate sauce drizzled on top.

What these cakes need is fire! (singing) "Lord Almighty, I feel the temperature rising....we gonna set cakes on fire! Then we'd have a hunk, a hunk of burnin' cake!" No? I'll just retreat to my corner over there near the atrium, then.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

The first name that popped into my head when I saw cake #2 was Jeff Goldblum. I was wondering why TCM was having an Elvis movie marathon when I scrolled thru the schedule on my tv before I left for work. Now I know! ;-]

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSM3

did not read all the comments but last cake.... childhood M..... Mulan

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Except for the Brawny paper towel guy, I think they all look like Robert Pattenson. And I think the last one is Sulu.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

I think the final cake resembles Eddie Munster. The wreckinator simply forgot the widow's peak.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAudax

I've always been thrilled that I shared my birthday with Elvis (date, not year), so thankyouverymuch for a perfect birthday post!


January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

John has started drinking Mountain Dew again, hasn't he? ;D

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMs anthrope

As we all know, Elvis was a BIG foodie. But did you know that he started out singing radio jingles for a local bakery? Songs like "Don't Be Cruller," and "There's No Room For Rhubarb In Sports Car," and "You Can't Say No (To Cake) In Alcapulco." "Love Me Tender" was originally a spot for a local steak house. As the weight piled on, Elvis could no longer hide his love for sweets, and recorded unabashed love songs like "Cotton Candy Land," and "Any Place With Cake Is Paradise." He even made a movie, "Follow That Dreamsicle." I know that if he were still performing publicly today, he would be singing, "You Can Step On A Box Of Cupcakes And Sell Them On Special For 50 Cents, But Don't Step On My Blue Suede Shoes."

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

The last one looks like Paul Ryan, which makes the cake inedible.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDocWach

I thought cake #2 was Johnny Cash---

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranon

#4 is a pretty good Tom Jones - are we sure it was supposed to be Elvis?

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

1. Definitely John Travolta. With a quirky hairline.
4. Definitely Tom Jones.
That is all. Carry on.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulse

I thought the third one looked more like Liberace.

The last one is definitely Eddie Munster.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Oh and number 3 looks seems to have some characteristics that remind of a Disney villian, I think particularly Cinderella's evil stepmother...I think it's that creepy smile.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulse

The first one looks like Joe Don Baker to me (MITCHELL!) and the second one seems to be a Vulcan, though not Spock. The 3rd one looks like Madam, the ventriloquil figure voiced by Wayne Flowers, and I agree the 4th one is the Bounty Paper Towel model. The last one...Frida Kahlo with short hair and an eyebrow wax?

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercal331

I also share my birthday with Elvis (happy birthday, lisadh) and yes, this was a fitting post! As a side note, it is also David Bowie's birthday, maybe one of those cakes is supposed to be him?

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAudra

tHE LIPS & HAIR IN #3 look like Timme Curry as Frank-n-furter but the hair is more Eddie (Meatloaf)!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna`

have mercy!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterleah

Is the Brawny man Paul Bunyan? Cuz that's what I see in #4. #3 is your choice - a "spitting image" puppet (google it), a Beatles conglomerate of Paul & George, or the Madame puppet w/her hair dyed. I don't see the Dr. Frank n Furter resemblance - he had curly hair, after all... And #5 is a clean-shaven Mr. Adams of The Adams Family! (i.e. his mustache is shaved off)

That is all (except usual kudos to Sharyn & Haiku Joy)

PS Cat Trampoline, I'm in SE Texas. Can I come by for your Elvis movie-a-thon? I'd love to see Blue Hawaii again! :-)

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

portraiture and dessert too?
Schrödinger's Elvis.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I can't get over the row of donuts on the 4th cake...

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

I really wanna know what they used for the eyes on the first one. If my cake was looking at me like that, I'm pretty sure I'd just cry. Even if it was err.. Eddie Munster...

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

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