My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Supper Bow Tie Optional

What's that? The Super Bowl is this weekend? WOOHOOO!!

That means it's time for the annual reappearance of...

 The Super Bowel!



 Too much. A little too much.


In their continuing quest to use gingerbread cookie cutters for everything BUT gingerbread men, bakers have finally scored their most discomfiting design yet:

And just like that, every football phrase I know got dirty. o.0


Hey, ever wonder what wrecks will look like in the future?

Yeah. Me, neither.


My Roman numerals are a little rusty, but I'm pretty sure the W stands for 1.2 Gigawatts:

(That joke is funnier when you realize there IS no W in Roman numerals. Which means I had a good chortle when I looked it up just now.)

Seems to me bakers are better off leaving out the numbers all together. That way, they only have to focus on finding new mispellings for "bowl":


My new favorite. Does everyone have their supper bows on?


I know that professional sports have a way of dividing people against each other, so can we all just agree now that this mud pit with its two shrubberies is the REAL winner?



After all:

And actually, if you could just send the food my way in a doggie bag, that'd be awesome. (I have some Downton Abbey to catch up on.)

Thanks to Dan,  Cammy A., Carrie A., Grace, Elizabeth L., Jim K., Anna M., Sarah S., & Josie H. for remembering to include extra BBQ sauce with the pigs-in-a-blanket. 

« Chasing Shadows, Deja Vu Again | Main | An Indecent Proposal »

Reader Comments (76)

Cake #8: at least they put one slightly higher than the other, for a nice two-level effect. And a path going down the middle.
"with a path! with a path!" SHUT UP voices in my head! ;)

And Cake (cookie) #9 expresses my own sentiments perfectly. Super Bowl, Schmuper Bowl, I have furniture to move!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

Sung to "Winnie the Pooh"

Winning with poo
Winning with poo
Grubby Super Bowel played with brown stuff
Ginger Boy pleasures
Not one but two
Future cakes use "W' there

Weevils play, too
Weevils play, too
Put on supper bows and then look so tough
Knights say "Ni" to you
I'm here for food
Put the extra weenies right there

You know, it's not surprising there are all the bowel and poo references. After all, getting to the Super Bowl IS a process of elimination...

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I'll know when you watch the lastest Downton Abbey from season 3 by hearing your scream all the way here in Oklahoma.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterErik

I have been sharing my birthday weekend with the damn Supper Bow since 190079 and I’m sick of it. Every year my friends and family gather around the big TV when they should be gathered around big old me! There was one memorable surprise party given by a memorable boyfriend during the 80s (I think it was Super Boll WIHH) when the surprise was that I didn’t know any of the guests. He asked me to run out to the bakery and pick up my cake so no one would miss any of the game. I did pick up the cake, but the party went on without me. So today, I’m going to celebrate my birthday and tomorrow I’ll celebrate some more. On Sunday, when everyone else is eating Super Bowel food and whooping up over TV commercials, I’m going to hunker down and try to figure out why those prison guys are trying to destroy Mr. Bates and why Robert, Earl of Granthom has become such a loser. I’ll bet Edith has to share her birthday with World Polo Championship.
Thank you for letting me vent.
Go, [insert team name here] !!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Love the yard markers on #2: while on the right you have the 10 and 20, on the left you have the 01 and 02. Tough to turn the cake around or walk to the other side of the table- just wing it!

#8: we WERE #1! now, who knows?

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterteacher lady

While these cakes celebrate the big game in their own unique and misshapen way, and while most football aficionados know that the first intercollegiate game took place in NJ in 1869 and the first pro ball game was in Pittsburg in 1892, most do not realize that the first bowl game was actually a college game played in Wyoming, in 1894. In its early days, Wyoming was filled with sheep, and consequently developed a booming business in wool yarn. Still a relatively newly minted state in 1892, Wyoming wanted not only to draw attention to this burgeoning business but also to encourage people to migrate to their state. When news of this new football sport made its way west, Wyoming knew that this was the game of the future and it could be their big draw. The state quickly encouraged its schools to develop teams, and two years later, in 1894, Wyoming held the world’s first bowl game – called, fittingly enough, the Yarn Bowl. Two history-making teams took the field: the National Institute of Tupping (a veterinarian school specializing in the science of sheep reproduction) and the Public University of Range Land (dedicated to developing nutritional grasses for grazing areas). Like the first intercollegiate game in NJ, they used a combination of soccer and rugby rules, and goals only counted one point. It was a hard-fought battle, and each school’s defensive team kept the score low. But in the end, there was a victor. The results of the Yarn Bowl: NIT 1, PURL 2.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

@ Sharyn - you're amazing...I love it! (altho I will now never see Winnie the Pooh in the same way...)

@ Amanda H. - I was thinking the exact same thing! Now, can we please stop talking about shrubberys and get down to figuring out the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Jen, you made my day with "ni!" - Monty Python and the Holy Grail FTW!

"Please let me face just a little bit of the peril?"
"No, it's too perilous!"

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth A.

Sharyn, that last throw-away line . . . wowie. It's a piece of work. I mean, you're a piece of work. I mean, it worked and I'm gonna have a piece of pie.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

#3 is obviously supposed to be gingerbread marsupials of some sort. FYI, male marsupials have bifurcated genitalia, which the wrecker was obviously trying to portray and the females have matching bifurcated "ladybits", although that bifurcation is up inside. The genus name of the American Opposum, Didelphis (meaning "a pair of twins") alludes to this.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

Were #1!!!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

No more Super Bowl parties for me! Two kids are enough! Oh, wait, did I type that?! TMI, you think? I did marry the father...before the parties, even! :-)

@Sharyn - Glad you're 'back in business'! :-)

Those gingerbread football men... Good grief. Can't you just hear some "Stud" using them to hit on all the ladies? "Hey, honey, here I am - a REAL man. Let me score just one touchdown & you'll never let anyone else score there again..." YUK!

Ni! Ni! NNNiiiii!!

And what's the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?! :-)

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

The mud pit with its two shrubberies WAS the REAL winner? (Were #1, about five years ago! And we are still proud of that fact! What number are we now.....look a bunny!!)

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKassia

Apparently if you live at Downton Abbey, supper bows are incredibly important... and they must be white and not black or you will be mistaken for a waiter by Granny :)

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Indeed, there is no "W" in Latin at all. In Classical Latin, the "V" is normally pronounced as "W" is today, and there is no "V" sound. (The word for "hello", "salve", is pronounced "sahl-way".)

My wife and I are planning on spending the Super Bowl at the Museum of Fine Arts, seeing a couple exhibits that are closing soon. We figure it might be less crowded then.

(Mind you, if the Patriots had made it, we would be at my grandparents' house watching with all my cousins. But, well. They didn't. So MFA instead.)

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIan Osmond

Maybe the wreckerator for wreck #6 really meant: NFL COTTON Boll...bwaaaaa ha ha ha!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFran

Ty for the Monty ref! <3

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKellyH

I don't think I could eat cake with 'Super Bowel' written on it. I really don't.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

So that collective scream and wail you might have heard around eh 9:38 pm EST last Sunday? the most recent Downton and you'll know what that is about. BTW, Kleenex might be useful.

I promise to go to the grocery store today just to look for horrible purple cakes! N'rmore!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterisabella

O.O the gingerbread men!!!! ROFL Sharyn - "pleasures two". :P

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Methinks the bakers have had too many knocks to the head :P

Sharyn lolol XD

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

ROFL @ Sharyn! Elimination!

I think Wreck #8 is mistaken… looks more like #2 than #1 to me!

And I think Adam the gingerbread man needs to find some bigger fig leaves.

@ Erik - I keep hearing that I'm not going to like the last DA episode of the season… I already wanted to strangle some writers – and characters – after last week's episode.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDB

For some reason that I can't explain, the "Were #1!!" cake really looks like it should be made out of brownies, instead of cake. :)

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

Super Bowl 20101 - is it me, or are the lines numbered strangely as well? Upside down and backwards? Huh? LOL Maybe that's the way in 20101? LOL

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusyn

WLVI is a tv station in Boston. Somewhere there is a station manager wondering why there is a football on his cake.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBethH

The first cake's U looks like an A to me.

I guess the black football was meant to avoid fecal suggestions, but it doesn't help much.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Oh, come on! You should all know by now that "We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni. We are now the Knights who say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwring." Duh! :)

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

I love that last one!!!!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnnete

I now have a nigh-irresistible craving to go out and cut down every wreck in the baker with.... A HERRING!!!!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

mel, that story was fantastic! I thought it was real until the end...LOL!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

OK, that cookie cake at the end was actually pretty awesome. Except for the inedible plastic flotsam, of course. GO, PLASTIC FLOTSAM, GO! (away)

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMatt J

@mel: I was afraid it was going to unravel at the end, but you managed to knit it all together. (And now we know the origin of "Knit Wit"...)

@SuBee: Any time someone scores, I'm going to yell, "Who cares? It's SuBee's birthday!" Happy Birthday!

@KarateLady: So, uh, nobody's scoring at your house this weekend, huh?

@Haiku Joy -- It's always bothered me that pie are NOT square, they're round.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That last one — "just here for the food" — looks just fine to me. Sparing use of quins and plastic decorations, and the comment is reasonably well executed.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Sto lat and many happy returns of the day, SuBee!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

As an Alabama native the Super Boll cake just makes me think of the Boll Weevil, the cotton eating bug that nearly destroyed the cotton crops down here in the 1930s. I imagine a boll weevil in a cape shouting Super Bollll *Weevil* and flying around saving other insects from the horrors of modern pesticides.

Here's a picture of the statue of a boll weevil that stands in the town center of Enterprise, AL:

Yeah, I can totally see it with a cape.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristin E.

Wow, so football season is already over? Nice. As long as the game doesn't interfere with my DVRing of Downton Abbey, I'm good. Watching last weeks' episode tonight with a friend; we're already aware we won't be happy.
SuBee, I'll hoist something yummy in your general direction. I hope you like key lime bars. ;-) For some reason, I just don't want to look at anything frosted with chocolate....

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

Was that a European or African swallow?

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

Wait, wait, wait. Jen knows football phrases?

@mel: That was awesome.

@SuBee: Happy Birthday! I'm with Sharyn, everytime a team scores in the Supper Bow, I'll think of you. Kinda like, "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings".

Enjoy the Saper Bowel, all ye who will be watching. I hope your team does not get called for icing and makes the lay-up to score the grand slam! Woot!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

When Uwe puts on a superhero outfit, does he become Super Boll?

Me, I'd just rather eat somewhere quiet. And people watching a football game != quiet.

(For clarification, != = ≠ .)

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

"Shrubberies"? Wouldn't that be "shrubs"? Most of the time (Including today), I just scroll down with WTF ringing through my head. Love this stuff.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterwordphreak

I need to know where I can find that last one, only on a cake instead of a giant cookie. I'm afraid (very afraid) to contact any of the bakers close to my home.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

And if you lived in Santa Barbara you could year the TV announcer talk about the burning shrubbage during their yearly fires. It's not just cake decorators who are illiterate.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNorine

@mel: You TOTALLY got me! But the laugh at the end was so worth it!

LOVE the MP reference and all the comments! I almost choked on my lunch with each one from laughing!

I could take a little of the peril! I like peril!!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Hee, I love how the shrubs/sea anemones in #8 appear to be giving each other little tentacle-y high fives. Either that or they're playing pattycake. Either way, they seem to be totally okay with the fact that they are no longer #1. Way to be good sports, guys!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStevie Lou

As I was gagging over the pile of poo the poor gingerbread man was eating, my 15 yr old son leans over and says, "Mom, clearly eating poop is not his biggest problem if his dong is shaped like that, all split up the middle, and he has green pubes!"

Gotta love teenage boy humor!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPi-Girl777

Cake #5 -
Here in the Boston area we actually have a TV station with the call sign of "WLVI". That's channel 56.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNelly Blue

"We're #1! This cake looks like #2! We're gonna pass on the food, as we've lost our appetites, thank you!" OK, as a cheer, it needs work.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB

@ WORDPHREAK you really must rent Monty Python & the Holy Grail and/or find a production of Spamalot to see. Life cannot truly be complete without experiencing either (or preferably both)

I believe that Cake #8 was sent to Duke by NC State a few weeks back...
What's missing though is the "na, na na, na na, na!" followed by a Bronx Cheer

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna`

mel - I love your clever, elaborate set-ups. It's like reading Pearls Before Swine. Thank you always.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@ Norine

Was that shrubbage just burning or was it burning and itching?

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

Gingerbread Adam,
wearing apron strings, munches
his hero on rye.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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