American Pie

Sung to “American Pie”


A long, long time ago
I can still remember...
How the good cakes used to make me smile.

But now I never get the chance

The cakes all make me look askance

I haven’t seen a good one for a while


Star-studded horse-dog makes me quiver

For that price I hope they deliver

Floral foam's a misstep

What have they done to this schlep?

How could this bring a baker pride?

Why do the squids swim side-by-side?

The frosting ran...

...when eagles cried

The day... my chiiiilllldhood... died.

I’ll buy an American pie
Heart so heavy 'cause the bevy of bad cakes make me cry

And customers stare at them wistfully and sigh


"This won't be the cake that I buy."

"This won't be the cake that I buy."


Let's sing the praises of Clayton M., Jennifer C., Jodee R., Keri G., Valerie H., Gillian H., Lori C., Louise W., L.P., Deborah O., Broukg., Courtney H., Michele T., and Tharr, even though their cakes leave us red, white and oh, so blue.