In May of 2008, a secret program was formed to combat the rapid proliferation of wrecked cakes. The program was dubbed "Theme and Reality Distortion in Cake Experiment," or T.A.R.D.I.C.E.

A team of highly-trained Cake Lords was dispatched, each assigned to a specific genre of wreck:

Dr. Who?

Charged with finding out why so many cakes are made for unidentifiable recipients.


Dr. What?

Seeking to decode the weird messages that get piped on cakes every day.


Dr. When?

Assigned to investigate temporal anomalies.


Dr. Where?

Alternate Universe or bad spelling? He decides.


Dr. How?

Determining how the structure of cakes failed, and how they stayed upright in the first place.


Dr. Why?

Responsible for explaining the reasoning behind the inexplicable.
(Seriously. Two nuns. On a wedding-like cake. Encircled by cookies. Supported by gilded cherubs. I hope Dr. Why comes up with a reason P.D.Q.)




Their leader, a shadowy figure who coordinates their efforts and decides what information to release to the world, and when.


Timely thanks to Wendy G., Tracey C., Ashley M., Michelle W., Susan D., and Monique R., for helping us realize resistance is futile -- and really, really boring.