Hallo, and welcome to Sochi Z, official bakery of Sochi Olympics!
As you can see, we have spent years preparing for your visit, and have spared literally no expense to make you feel welcome!
(Did I mention it's our RE-Grand Opening?)
(Now with shower curtains!)
(Please do not mind the construction workers. They are only here for lunch break. And to fix foundation. And roof. Maybe little plumbing. But that's IT.)
We "welcome" you like the "family" you are! Haha!
Now, while you are here in our fair city, do watch out for all the open manholes in the street. In fact, just go ahead and drive in the waterways:
Is better that way.
Also, we have many packs of roving stray dogs.
DO NOT PET ROVING PACKS OF STRAY DOGS.
They will, how you say... eat your face.
Perhaps you've heard stories of the athlete who had to break through the door of his bathroom to escape. Well, never you fear, kotyata, because I am here to tell you: this reminds me of very funny story...
Ahh, those were good times.
Also, do not break bathroom doors. We have you on camera, and we will prosecute. [meaningful glare]
Of course you are no doubt here to celebrate the sports and whatnot. We have cakes for those, too!
And no worries that OUR Olympic rings won't open; we made extra!
(See all of our Olympic cake specials here!)
And finally, to address the many questions we are getting regarding our city's facilities, we here at Sochi Z have made a delicious delicacy to illustrate the Sochi Toilet Operation:
You see? No toilet seat necessary! Now you, too, can poo like American Pooh! Haha! That's Sochi Z!
Thanks to Viviano L., Deborah A., Irene J., Tiffany W., Shannon H., Amber, Alison R., Katie H., Beth K., & Stephanie H. for the ringing endorsement.