My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

From The Bottom Of My... Bottom

Why give your heart to that special someone this Valentine's Day, when you can give him/her something even more special:

Your colon.

You know, this is so moving, I think I feel a song coming on. That, or a bad case of stomach flu. [head tilt] No, no...I'm pretty sure it's a song. (Whew!) Ok, then - c'mon, everyone, sing it with me!

Laast V-day, I gave you my heart,
But the very next day, you gave it away.
Thiiiis year, to save me from tears,
I'm gonna give you my co-lon (colon!)


Psst. Soon everyone will want the coffee cake colon, Josh F. - pass it on!


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« An Out of This World Valentine's Day | Main | Sochi Z! »

Reader Comments (34)

I need a cleanse after that...

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

My almost 14 year old looked at that and said, "Have a slice, Mom. Then it'll be a semi-colon." I'm so proud.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Ew. And Sharyn, your child is awesome. :D Didn't have much choice given the nature/nurture double-team, but still.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

OOOh! and it is only $10. That is quite the bargain this time of year.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

I'm not convinced there is a coffee cake under all that. Or any other food item, for that matter.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

As someone who looks at pictures of the insides of colons all day, I can tell you this is a pretty accurate representation. And I would have totally bought it, just to gross out my co-workers. :)

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M

Bwah ha ha ha ha! To both the cake colon and Sharyn's son.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Aside from the colon-ness gross factor of this, why would anyone slather frosting onto a coffee cake?

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Are you sure that isn't a King cake?

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I'll be singing all day.

Son of Sharyn, I salute you, sir!

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

In life and in cake,
always use your full colon,
never your semi.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"Bill, the thing I really admire about you is... " --Naked Lunch

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Bahahaha Sharyn's kid :D as for that cake D:

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

What Is A Grammatically Correct Valentine’s Day Symbol?

Today’s post revisits one of the oldest questions around: what is the correct grammatical symbol for Valentine’s Day? For example. chocolatiers have tried to deal with this for eons, and, having come to no universal solution, merely put random squiggles on their finest sweets. For today’s cake, this baker has opted for the colon. Is this a good choice? Let’s take a look.

The goal, of course, is for the giver to declare his or her fondness for the receiver; it is a gift that is designed to promote a feeling of support, of love, if you will, that hopefully will be somehow reciprocated by the receiver. How well do our grammatical symbols do that?

How about a period? Well, how about not. The period indicates the end of a sentence. The end, folks. For those wishing to continue a relationship, giving a symbol that indicates the end is probably not the best idea. In another context, in certain delicate situations if the woman were to give it to the man it might appropriately mean, “You are NOT going to be the Daddy.”

The ampersand (&) is another choice, but vague in its meaning in this environment. It means “and,” but, and what? “Happy Valentine’s Day and…?” Nebulousness never won fair heart.

Maybe an emdash – that’s a longer hyphen. It indicates a break in thought, not a particularly smooth approach for this day, is it? The language of love should flow naturally, n’est pas?

Could we use parenthesis? Yes, if we want to be bopped on the head. It’s not so bad that they indicate a qualifying remark (and really, do you want your feelings to be qualified?) but also that they look like bow legs. “Here, dear, I love you with some qualifications and by the way, you have bow legs.” If you use this, my advice: run!

Well, then, perhaps brackets [] would work. Maybe, if you were studying wood work and the textbook offered some technical information, for that’s what brackets general contain. (Technical information, though not only about wood work.) If you and your beloved are two molecular biologists who happen to be cardiologist, well, perhaps.

Three festively decorated cupcakes in a row representing ellipses (…) might be fun: a cupcake for you, a cupcake for me, and one for us to share. Or, this is you, this is me, and this is us together as one. Awwwwwwww…. Que cuteness…. Unfortunately, ellipses generally mean something is omitted, left out. Is that what you want to say about your feelings? Something is left out? It raises the specter of doubt, incompleteness…. Not a very reassuring message for this special day. [Technical note: I use ellipses a lot, and by a lot, I mean A LOT. For me, it is a style thing, more than a grammar thing, like using all lower case letters in my name….]

Is there hope for the quotation marks? If there is, it isn’t here. Have you ever made those quote marks with your fingers? Sure you have, and when you did that you most likely meant what you said as sarcasm or hyperbole. How does this sound: Happy Valentine’s Day. I “love” you. ‘Nuff said.

Perhaps, then the apostrophe. This will work well if you and your love believe that women are the property of men, for the apostrophe indicates possession. Sam’s = belongs to Sam. If you’ve come along way, baby, skip the apostrophe.

Which brings us back to the colon, and its friend, the semi-colon. Anal allusions aside, the colon is used to indicate an explanation, or a series of things. If you have to explain your love, well, sorry for you. No one want to hear “I love you” followed by some kind of explanation, which will ultimately not only dilute the “I love you” part, but will also totally wash it away. The same is true when it is used to introduce a series of things. Just stop: you had me at “I love you.”

So we’re down to the semi-colon. Could this the perfect Valentine’s Day grammatical symbol? The semi-colon “is used to connect independent clauses.” Furthermore, it shows a close relationship between those clauses. Ah…I think we’re on to something. If we consider each person as an independent individual (independent clause), that sounds rather romantic, doesn’t it. And when we add that it shows a close relationship, well, voilà! Here it is, what we’re after, the answer: something that shows a close relationship between two independent people – the semi-colon! Who knew!

May your Valentine’s Day be filled with semi-colons! And if you love someone, tell them, again and again! And then again. Daily. It’s one of the few things in life you really can’t overdo, and it is something that is as good for the sender to say as it is for the receiver to hear.

And Cake Wrecks…I ; you!

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@Sharyn - You're raising 'em right.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

I lol'ed at the song. Love it.

And Heather--as to why someone would slather frosting on a coffee cake? Probably because 'Merica. :) I love many things about this country, but our national relationship to food is not one of those things.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermelanie sparkles

When I first saw this, I chastised myself for trying to eat lunch while reading this blog. I should know better.

But then Sharyn, and her witty son, and Amanda M. and Haiku Joy come along, and suddenly we have turned lemons into lemonade!

Now if only we could find a chef to turn that . . . . thing . . . . .into something edible.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Who could resist a deal like that? Excuse me while I go out to get one of my very own.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

@mel ~ I less than 3 you a really lot!

@Haiku Joy ~ Maybe you could have mel come teach your class on Valentine's Day?

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

mel... mel... mel...

Such a great "comment"; so erudite. (I wish I be be as much!) All in all: good work.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commenternanalettie

Good luck getting any of them to come! They would claim National I Have Dandruff Day as a personally important holiday if they thought it meant they could skip class.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Well, in Medieval times in England, it wasn't the heart that represented love, it was the liver. Not sure what to make of that, except it's still better than the colon!

Sharyn, your son is being raised right (his comment is priceless)!
Mel, your grammatical skills leave me to shame!
Haiku Joy, never stop with the haikus, please!

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLeesa

The "song"-thing above, Jen...
Is it about love, then?
(No part of the time
does it try to rhyme...)
But like it, I do, now
It's silly, like you...

Happy Hearts Day, y'all! Here's a romantic song for you & John:

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Could we please declare a holiday for mel? The cakes would be fabulous!

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Fortunately, my colon did not look anything like that inflamed mess (which I suspect covers cupcakes) but rather arching hallways covered in light pink satin. I hope it still does....

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

I definitely don't think of icing on coffee cake. Maybe a drizzle of glaze, but not a red avalanche.

But while I have so many grammarians gathered (including Sharyn's genius son!), why the singular "ellipsis" and the plural "ellipses"? If a single series is an ellipsis, then perhaps if a sentence contains several series it becomes ellipses?

Talk amongst yourselves.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

mel, mel, mel...! You described my parents' lives together: Scarlett and Rhett, Romeo and Juliet, Lucy and Ricky. An epic drama...a love story...a comedy. But mostly, a beautiful poem...I had *something in my eye* after reading it. You have a real gift, and you share it with us, and it's like we're all GETTING a gift! Right now it's a balmy 10 degrees F outside, and pitch dark. But, hey--I feel like a sunbeam is curled up next to me like a cat. Thanks. =^~.~^=

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Best Colon song ever. And I have heard a lot of them.

The cake on the other hand… even I am feeling a little sluggish about it.

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFearless Colon

Shouldn't it be Pan Wow season?

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

@Mel - As someone who works with grammar a lot, that made me laugh out loud! =-)

@Sharyn - Your child's comment did too!

The cake just made me say, "Ew!"

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

@Jodee: you’re making me blush…in a non-stalked kind of way…I appreciate your support, and less than 3 to you for that. :-)
@nanalettie: thank you; just having fun here….
@Leesa: thanks; I always wondered if that English major would ever come in handy….
@SuBee: you make me laugh, and I like that….
@Knittedbooties: here’s a shot: if there is one dog, it is “dog;” add another dog or more and you have “dogs.” If we’re talking about one set of three dots, that’s an ellipsis. When there is more than one set, we’re talking plural, and collectively they care called ellipses. Singular, “i” and “e” for plural. Just remember “i” before “e” for singular and plural spelling. And that’s probably better than ellipsis and elippsises, or ellipsis’ or ellipsisis….
@sendingtheclowns: thanks…and stay warm…(tomorrow we expect to be above freezing – first time in two week, and Monday we broke a 100+ year old record for cold on that day: 23 below zero, and that’s not wind chill.)
@Seabird: Glad you had a laugh! Who would have ever thought grammar could be funny!

February 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Well now I know I won't be getting cake for Valentine's Day lol. Especially one like that. Sheesh what on earth is that horrible thing? I refuse to believe it's a colon lol.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

It looks so....bloody. 0_o

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAddy

Well the cakes are truly something else but I gotta tell ya, your comments are priceless. I have laughed so hard over the commentary than the ridiculous cakes. Too bad the Seinfeld Show is over - he would have loved your humor! Thanks for the posts!!

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandraD

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>