My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

An Out of This World Valentine's Day

Cakes, the final frontier...


Star Fleet Recreation Department -- Matchmaker's Log:

Attempts to celebrate Valentine's Day on the Starship Wrecksurprise have not gone entirely as planned.

The Horta took the pink dye beautifully, but got overexcited when someone fed him too many cookies and burned through 19 decks and the outer hull.

It took over an hour to fix the breach, and three crewmen are still unaccounted for.

(There goes my promotion.)


The Andorian lovebugs we imported are super friendly:

...but it turns out they're poisonous, and Dr. McCoy is out of antivenom.


On the plus side, I finally convinced Mr. Spock to give Nurse Chapel a Valentine!

She threw a bowl of plomeek soup at him.

Which he claimed was delicious.


Personally, I was thrilled when the Tellarite agreed to dress up as Cupid,

...but shaving him clogged the sonic showers, and now I'm confined to quarters.


Oh, and the tribbles got into the Valentine's candy and have overrun decks 23-25.

Turns out, chocolate is bad for tribbles.

So now I've got three decks of wired, farting tribbles to contend with.
(I guess I'm kinda glad I'm confined to quarters...)


Not to mention the food replicators are on the fritz...

...and I'm the butt of everyone's jokes.


On top of everything, Captain Kirk's choice of Valentine for the bridge crew was -- well -- unfortunate.

McCoy's out of antidote for that, too.

So all in all, I think we'll just skip Valentine's Day next year.


High commendations to our cake cadets Michelle L., Nic B., Rachel H., MJ S., Maria M., Jen F., Emily N., Veronica R., and Chrispy. May you all Live Long and Prosper -- perhaps by sticking to flowers and candy this Valentine's Day.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Happy VD! | Main | From The Bottom Of My... Bottom »

Reader Comments (54)

Bwahahahahaha :D stuck in NY due to snow, need the laugh

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I just LOVE how you let your nerd flag fly freely!! I especially enjoyed the cake from Mr. Spock for Nurse Chapel. :)

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterElly

I’ll add this to the dozen or so Star Trek theme songs that are sure to appear here today:

Here is your Valentine’s cake
It took me some minutes to make
My frosting skills may not be as strong as my love
But I swear upon the stars above
I’ll always tolerate you
And put up with your hiney, too.
So please enjoy your VD now
I gave it to you…

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

It brings me great satisfaction the Tellarite is "without picks and rings". Important information prior to purchase.... FAIL!!!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentertlca

Holidays - in Spaaaaace!
(Everything's better in space.)
The Love Boat - in Spaaaaace!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I always love coming to Cakewrecks in the morning for my daily brightener- but I just lost it at the mental image of farting tribbles hopped up on sugar. BWAAHAAHAA!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

I guess that's the reason Horta's don't eat too many cookies...perhaps we need to spend more time studying Horta culture....

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@SuBee: Oh, you, hiney tolerance and cake: the trifecta of Valentine's Day...your song brought tears to my eyes...

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Sharyn and Subee are on FIRE today!!

The "I tolerate you" is my fave too.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Having grown up watching the original, not to mention seeing all the movies as I mature shall we say, this hit a special place in my hiney, oops, heart. I laughed so hard I was in tears. This is truly an EPIC post. Thank you once again for making me laugh uproariously and making everyone wonder what the heck is going on at my desk! I didn't JUST laugh, I GUFFAWED until tears were streaming down my face.
Love you all.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSageinReno

Live long and prosper, Sharyn, Jen, John (THoJ) and all the Wrecky crew! Thank you for a perfect Trekker Valentine card!

@mindy1-Come on over, I'll make cocoa!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Excellent, Sharyn. Thank you so much for making it so.

(Yes, that's NextGen but hey - its all trekky goodness, right?)

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Absolutely classic post. What could possibly be better than Star Trek and Cake Wrecks "deliciously" joined together? You really had no choice after seeing that first cake, did you?

Also, embarrassed to admit I had to google what VD was an abbreviation for (though I already had a pretty good idea based on the commentary).

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Brilliant. :)

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMichelleH

Cake Wreckin' across the internet!
On the website Jen hosts, cakes are at their worst.
Cake Wreckin' across the internet!
Always laughing heartily the more they are perverse.

Those Tribbles look like they're gonna blow
gonna blow
gonna blow
Those Tribbles look like they're gonna blow

It's Cupid, Jen but not as we know it
not as we know it
not as we know it
It's Cupid, Jen but not as we know it.

With apologies... to everyone (I couldn't get this out of my head)

Happy VD!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSwampgirl Inez

And those Orion slave girls *really* get around...thus the good Captain's choice of confectionery. But I did love Spock's the best. Fascinating.

I bet Sheldon would like it, too. (Hey, did anyone else see the last episode of THBBT? With the train and his new goofy friend? And the you-know? [Trying not to spoil it if you didn't.])

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I've been watching the original Star Trek series with my mom for a while now, so this post is extra hilarious for me because now I understand the references, like Spock's cake. So funny! Thanks for the daily laughs, CW Team!!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Favoritest. Post. Ever.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterherekittykitty

Brilliant Sharon, simply brilliant. I kept hearing it in Shatner's voice until I got to the Captain Kirk line but even then it was still fitting. Even though it was Star Trek I couldn't help hearing Sheldon's computer voice when I saw the "hiney" cake, "And some hiney would be nice"

@SaraCVT - I saw it and it was great. The perfect way to have that happen. I won't say anymore to keep from giving it away.

@Haiku Joy - Wonderful. And I read the first line in Muppet Show voice: Piiiigs iiiiin Spaaaaaace!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoeMama

Awesome as always! But... the lips on the Horta, the lips. I just don't get the lips, lots of lips. And then the Tellurite's lips, and the tribbles looking like just-fed zombie tribbles; bloody lips. Yikes.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

Cake #6 reminds me of the dwarfs dressed as cupids for Valentine's Day in Harry Potter. I love those dwarfs.
And your nerdiness brings a song to my heart and a smile to my face.

I'm definitely using I Tolerate You for Valentine's Day.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

I'm pretty sure that plomeek soup wreck is what New Jersey looked like after the big game a few weeks ago. Much love Ms. Sharyn! ;-)

@mel ~ Horta culture! **snort**

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

"HINEY"???? What on earth were they going for with that?? Also, I would totally be a crewmember on the Starship Wrecksurprise. Sounds like a blast. Or a tribble fart, I get them confused.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol


February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterT

These cakes make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Yes I'll enjoy my VD just as soon as I get my test results and who doesn't want someone to give them a cake that says I tolerate you?

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Epic! Jumped-up farting tribbles FTW!
I love Mr. Spock's cake. It could also be an appropriate sentiment from Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch or Jonny Lee Miller - either one!)

@mel - Horta culture. <smirk> extra sprinkles for YOU!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

The "tolerate" cake looks like it was written in mayo. YUK! On firemanred icing, Blech!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMiriam

In honor of Valentine's Day, the entire Enterprise crew wore red. Never before had Starfleet suffered such horrendous casualties in such a short amount of time! RIP, previously unseen crewmembers.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Thank you, thank you, thank you....I just laughed, and I really needed that today!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

This one is so funny! Love it!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMrsMoon

Trekkies FTW!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThePearLady

Does anyone else think that Tellarite bears a strike resemblance to Sloth from The Goonies? No? Just me? Okay then.
@Swampgirl Inez- That. was. AMAZING!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Oh, good grief...I confess to extreme thick-headedness or perhaps just being very distracted (I do have a sickie at home today): it took me until this long (2:30 pm) to get "Horta-culture" and Significant Other Unit has a degree in it!

I always said he could fix my roses and I l'd fix the things that ate them...or pissed in them.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Totally unrelated but I just saw this on the NBC News site:

"Snow, it turns out, is on the ground somewhere in 49 of the 50 states. You win, Florida."

Made me think of Jen and john (thoJ) :-)

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

“You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.”
-Dorothy Parker
(I'm actually surprised; I could have sworn it was a Groucho Marx thing.)
@SaraCVT~ I love that show! Sheldon is...well...Sheldon!

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns


February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

@Carol: I think they were going for "Honey." At least I hope that's what it was supposed to be.

@mel: Horta culture. . . . . .thank you!

I could have sent the "I tolerate you" cake to a client earlier this week. That was after he made a request that would have required a HUGE warp in the space-time continuum to accomplish. Sheesh.

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@Jodee and @krunchifrog: a snort and a smirk... life is good....thank you, thank you...and I'll take the sprinkles, thanks....

February 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@TLC: you're welcome...!

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@sending: Actually, Sheldon is NOT just "well...Sheldon". Sheldon is the best performance of an adult high-functioning autistic (what is usually called "Asperger's") I have ever seen, producers' protests to the contrary. Even Jim Parsons himself says Sheldon could not show more signs of it if he tried, and in the show they dance with his mental condition, having his mother say things like, "He's not crazy, I had him tested...but I wish I had taken him to that specialist in Houston."

Sheldon is my daughter, Olivia, who IS diagnosed with HFA (formerly Asperger's), and even said, "This is my spot," before he did. Like him, she HAAATTTEES change, discourages touch, doesn't really get the empathy thing, can be stultifyingly obnoxious in social situations because she doesn't remember right off the bat that other people are PEOPLE and have feelings, needs a sarcasm sign (she loves that idea). Like him, she is hugely bright, reads WAY above her age, is incredibly logical, and likes Doctor Who, Star Trek, and most sci fi. She could use her powers for evil if you could convince why she should get up off the couch and stop listening to Katy Perry. She is still a tween girl. Just an odd one, like her mother.

And every other one out there. And if anybody else knows a HFA (formerly Asperger's) kid or adult, they know Sheldon. He's not someone they made up. He's someone they knew.

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I am afraid to even picture a deck over run with farting tribbles lol. And now I bet I have nightmares starring that creepy cupid CCC blech! Ah well the laughs were worth it!

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Point of order: I think the Tellarite actually looks more like a Pakled.

Yes I am a complete nerd, why do you ask?

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoy

I find it hilarious that I read this not long after watching a couple of episodes of TNG. :P

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I really laughed out loud! the bit about farting tribbles?? LOL

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

Ah, Star Trek, my all-time favourite as a teenager! So glad it's the original. Really took my mind off the rising flood waters here in Winchester, UK. Wish I was in space!

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

"Icing without picks or rings." I'm not sure how that makes me feel.

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

@SaraCVT: glad you found Horta culture, but more importantly, thank you for your information/personal story about HFA. I'm not real familiar with this, so I appreciate the insight. I don't know if you're familiar with the TV show "Boston Legal," now off the air, but one of the cast (actor Christian Clemenson) portrayed a man with HFA, Jerry "Hands" Espenson. The world is funny -- sometimes I think we're all different, and yet all the same. Thank you again for shedding light.

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel


February 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Hahaha ohhh myyyy

February 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>