My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

We're Pretty Sure It's Not About Drugs

[All together, now!]  

Puff, the farting unicorn

is so gas-sy.


He frolics with his wrecky friends

in a chain store bakery!


Lounging Staypuft ponies

love that rascal Puff.


But Sparkle Faceplant broke two legs

when things got kinda rough.



Together they would hunt down

all the zombie cookie fails.


And try to keep down incidents

when ponies got impaled.


They never tease poor Pokey

for his sad horn and mane.


But they steer clear of Horny here

That guy is just insane...



Magical thanks to Leann S., Andrea and Anne-Marie S., Andrea McP., Cathy S., Allison H., Elaine E., Ladylockeout, and Stacey H., for helping me wreck one of the most depressing children's songs EVER.



Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Surprise! IT A WRECK! | Main | The Labor of Love »

Reader Comments (51)

After a few puffs, these cakes probably look fairly normal, but I think I'd need something a little stronger to figure out what's going on with Sparkle Faceplant's cake.
Can someone explain it to me? Anyone?

Sharyn, once again, I bow to your genius.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Poot-poot the Pony
carries a stick-armed princess
and a strong jawline.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

And they wonder why kids need therapy...

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

OK, I need a zombie-impaling unicorn cookie cake for my birthday!

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

Awesome. I think "Sparkle Faceplant" is my My Little Pony name.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Um, what is that .... creature ..... on the last cake? That is the stuff of nightmares, especially for us single women. I mean, is that all that's left out there?

And please tell me that the border of the first cake is frosting, and not piped filling for deviled eggs.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Is that supposed to be a unicorn's head behind Sparkle Faceplant? It's vaguely horsehead shaped and has a small piped horn.. Cakewrecks...Godfather edition.

The pole on the impaled pony is up on blocks. Don't tie up your birthday pony in bad neighborhood, I guess. I suspect this was supposed to be a carousel horse but the wreckerator has a bad sense of direction.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjohn

The Unicorn vs Zombie cookie might be the best thing I've seen all day!

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

I think with the 'blocks" the impaling pole is supposed to be a "fence" for jumping. Hard to jump when you're a half-pony - either that or the course is very, very muddy. (Actually, I kinda like that cake, the artistic idea is cool even if the execution (heh) is imperfect.)

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCatlinye

"Sparkle Faceplant"....



Thanks, I will be no good at all today (snerk).

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

john's comment made me go back and look at the impaled pony and I realized that it's actually jumping over a pole, it's just hard to tell from above. You can sort of see how his front legs are tucked under.
I think the tiny cake on top of that cake is adorable.
For the last cake, isn't the saying "Save a horse, ride a cowboy'? Just because the dude is dressed like a horse doesn't make it right the other way.
And I actually like the blue glaze on the Staypuft Pony cake. It's not dripping out the bottom at all!
I'm sure the whole thing looks nice from above.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBin

About Sparkle Faceplant - at first I was staring at that big pink thing and wondered why do they call that dragon head with glowing eyes an unicorn, and how do they know anything about his legs at all. Then I noticed that small... uh.. favourite toy for the dragon, perhaps?

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkt

Oh yeah; that last one fills this week's quota of Things I Didn't Need to See.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I think Sparkle Faceplant's cake was supposed to be the unicorn in the order. But, it went wrong, and they tried to turn it into a hill. But, it still is unicorn face shaped with a teeny horn.
And that cake with the fruit... and the flowers... and the marshmallow unicorns? Those are nice flowers! But, stay with either flowers OR fruit OR unicorns. No, not the unicorns.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Red and yellow and
Pink and Green
Purple and orange and blue

I can fart a rainbow
Fart a rainbow
Fart a rainbow too

See it with your eyes
Smell it with your nose
And pass gas in every color of the bow

I can fart a rainbow
Fart a rainbow
Fart along with me

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

It is a california condor with a bridle on it!!

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRick

I think the stick in "impaled pony" is supposed to represent an obstacle in an equestrian event? But it looks more like he got skewered by a parking lot gate.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I always knew that was where rainbows came from! (Did you know at you can get a unicorn shaped sprinkle container that shakes sprinkles out of the butt, since "everyone knows that unicorns fart sprinkles and poop rainbows"? I may have to get one, even if it would scar Youngest for life...)

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Aw man, I ALREADY had this song stuck in my head today. Of course, that was my brain being weird about the "Dark is Rising" series, but hey...

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterL

That sixth cake--the impaled pony--is a simple precautionary dessert. Avoid limbo contests.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Trying to recover from an extra long weekend of moving with the flu. Thanks @Sharyn for the coughing fit!

My very generous employer gave me the plague. I told her "Next time, cash bonuses work!"

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

unicorn guy is from this photoshoot, NSFW(not full nudity but close-ups of certain, covered, bulgey bits and some butt-cheek), for the curious- <- *NSFW*

OK, it's true I own a book called "Zombies vs. Unicorns", and it does have some cool stories in it, but I never imagined illustrating the concept with a cookie!

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Another brilliant classic!!

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

that next to last one.. just one question... WHERE are it's EARS? what did they do with it's EARS?
and aside from that, how do you keep it's bridle on without EARS? X(
I do kinda like the staypuft ponies. must be fairy sized, given how they lounge under the daylily petals. fluffy little fairy ponies. yes, I do like that.
and at least they seem to have EARS...

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZee

For some reason, I sang today's post to the tune of the Gilligan's Island theme is somehow fitting.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Stop it! Stop it this instance!!! I'm NOT supposed to be laughing out loud whilst scanning someone's gallbladder. You're going to get me fired, do you hear me?!?!?!

"Sparkle Faceplant" OMG..................................

Actually, don't stop! :)

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

What else floats?

Very puffy ponies!

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

"Um, what is that .... creature ..... on the last cake?" That "creature" is a person, a gay man to be specific. His name is David Mason, and he owns the fetish wear site SlickItUp.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAntinous

Just Andrea!!!!! I've missed you!!!

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

BRILLIANT, Sharyn!!!!! You win the interwebs today. We are not worthy.

(Upon further contemplation, if there's been enough of the right kind of "puffing," all of the cakes will have been eaten, so the wreck would be moot.)

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Hey! I love that song! It always made me cry when I was a kid. Now? Not so much.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

That purple cake will give me nightmares for years to come lol. I don't even want to know what the cake was even for. Back to watching cartoons to take my mind of these scary things.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I like the StayPuft ponies!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

Does that first cake say "Townley?!" What kind of a name is Townley?!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTeal

Jen, at my local renfaire, I add an epilogue at the end.
There are several similar to this:

Jackie one day married, and had a little babe
Jackie's daughter Sophie went adventuring one day
Happily she wandered down the misty beach alone
And passing by a hidden cave, she heard a muffled groan.

Bravely Sophie peeked into the place where Puff did Dwell
The startled Dragon spun around and frightened her as well
Then she saw his lonely eyes and quickly lost her fears
She kissed his great big scaly nose and wiped away his tears

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

For those who like unicorns AND cookies, here's a recipe for ya:

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCali Gal

Wildmaven, why are you looking at Cake Wrecks while scanning someone's gallbladder?

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

I kind of like the Staypuft ponies!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterselkie

Jodee!!!! I've missed you, too, my sweet!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Why was there no joke about the one horse looking like Artax!! It's totally the Swamps of Sadness!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterK

I just finished reading "Zombies Vs. Unicorns". Now I want the cookie!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTiggerintn

The two Staypuft ponies appear to be sharing a giant spliff, which would explain the giant flowers and fruit.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Shortcake

The Staypuft Ponies are gorgeous and I love them. They remind me of Bugs Bunny's fat horse in "What's Opera, Doc?"
And that last cake is legend.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Ok, I actually LOVE the lounging staypuft ponies! I would snatch that cake up in a second!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAndi

I was known as "Helen A. Bucket" for 20 years. I now want to be known as Sparkle Faceplant

February 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterhelenabucket

Haha slow clapping I BOW to your prowess this is just too good hahah :D

February 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Wow...just wow...

March 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenix

If I ever become a drag queen (you never know, it could happen) 'Sparkle Faceplant' is the stage name I'm using.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHenri

I laughed for five minutes straight at Sparkle Faceplant.

March 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>