Do you frequently need to abandon your work for sudden emergencies?


Are your trips to the beach often cut short?


Are you perplexed by the constant trail of crap that follows where ever you go?

If the answer is yes then you may be suffering from Flotsampoowreckitis, or FPW, a common condition afflicting literally millions of plastic cake toys.

While there is no cure, FPW is nothing to be ashamed of! Why, just look at all these celebrity toys living loud and proud with THEIR frosted poop piles!

"I tell everyone it's the grease in 'greased Lightning.'"


"Then she was all, 'Can YOU say 'sexy?!'"


Even Merida knows being ashamed of FPW is just horse... rocks.

So brave.


So don't turn your back on Flotsampoowreckitis, flotsam!

Embrace it!


"Oooh, commmmfy."


Then you, too, can move on with your regular duties, knowing life won't pass you by!


So go on, cake flotsam: get out there, and embrace life to the fullest.

And just, uh, try to ignore all those giant turds beside you.


Thanks to Anony M., Laura N., Heidi T., Melissa C., Alex M., Miranda H., Cassandra M., Paula M., Amber G., and Chera D. , who are still giggling over "regular duties." (No? Just me?)


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