My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Deep Thoughts

There's something about staring at wrecks for a while that makes me start thinking...

Deep Thoughts.
You know, stuff like:

Is it true cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny?



And why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Ever wonder what color Smurfs turn when they're choked?


Or if a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

And can a cow be lactose intolerant?


Why don't they make mouse-flavored cat food?

(Don't they have the guts?)


Do frogs have to wait an hour after eating before they get out of the water?

Because this guy already looks a little cramped.


When sign makers go on strike, what do they write on their signs?

(          ,         !)


And why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

While we're at it, how come "monosyllabic" isn't?


Oh, and what if there weren't any hypothetical questions?


You know, the other thing staring at cake wrecks does is make me want to take a nap.
I'll do that while you think about this stuff, OK?


Profound thanks to Linn S., Marcos G., Kathryn P., Katie F., Christine C., Kristen P., Susan H., Catharine, and Aimee H. for seeing the deep philosophical meaning behind these wrecks, and to my Mom and Dad for sending me the e-mail that got me started down this path.


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Reader Comments (59)

Is that a cheekbone,
a nose, an ear, or are you
Smurfing to see me?

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind."

...and so, we continue to look at the wrecks with cheerfulness...

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Cow with a pig nose
Is not very attractive.
Ha ha! Look- no milk!

(Why do I always feel the need to apologize for haiku?)

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I also had to glup when I saw these cakes.
(That is never a sheep. Never.)

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Papa Smurf are you sad? You look a

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

What's the matter with the Congratulations Kim one? The icingface is weird, but as best I can make out it's spelled right, and it's not even that unattractive.

(Unless the cake was for Ken or Jim or Alexander or something.)

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMatthew E

Wow if this snarky (love snarky by the way) philosophical posting is the result of a rage sulk then I don't think they're unproductive at all. Way to go!

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKimberJ

Squished Frog also kinda looks like he's giving two middle fingers.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Clowns give me enough nightmares -- now the sheep cake in #2 will give me even more!!

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Love this!

You folks are brilliant!

Thanks for a great laugh to start my weekend!

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMarzipan

When we we at Lake Como several years ago checking out the gelato, we noticed (well, you could hardly miss it) Smurf gelato. We passed. It was certainly Smurf blue, but .... Eating Smurfs? Even frozen, I think not.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

To be completely fair, I think the Kim cake is spelled correctly. It's just written in a font called Curly Uber Serif Barf.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Brilliant, Sharyn!

When I first checked, only one comment had appeared.
I was afraid everyone else had joined the sign painter's strike.

You had me at hypothetical questions. Well, really at funny tasting clowns, but howling by hypothetical questions.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDBC

That poor smurf looks like he's got a nasty allergic reaction going on. Someone get the epi-pen!

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

These are indeed deep thoughts and I’d like to comment, but I’m a little pressed for time today. I’m making a dip for a party, and I don’t know how to tell if my sour cream is bad. And I’m not sure if my vegetarian friends will eat animal crackers. I tried to buy the party stuff in a general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific. I’ve got someone bringing an mp3 player because my AM radio doesn’t work in the afternoon. For fun, I was going to write the invitations in invisible ink, but I couldn’t tell if I was out or not. The party is to rally support for the #2 pencil – since it’s the most popular, we think it should be called #1. Unfortunately, first I have to go to a funeral. A friend went to a horror movie and was scared half to death, twice.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEarl of Sandwich

I think that Smurf is having an allergic reaction to something. Or he has the mumps.

Those cows look like they are trying to apologize for the baker's inability to make cows that actually look like cows. (The milk out her nose comment almost made coffee come out of MY nose!)

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

This post inspired me to go watch Steve Wright on YouTube. Now I feel too discombobulated and surreal to do anything.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

What happens mixing
minuscule and majuscule?

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Whoa, such deep thoughts :O

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

There once was a bakery in Tex*
Whose decorating was all called "wrecks"
So the ones on the shelf
Are blank do-it-yourself
Wow, what will they think of nex'?

*No, I don't know that it was actually in Texas, but I needed a rhyme for "wrecks".

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

I like the "Kim" cake, too; it IS pretty nice! The bitsy-shreddies on top look a little like wood shavings, but they're very delicately sprinkled! The 4th ones down look more like pigs than cows, from here. I've never seen a pink cow, anyway. AND, Miss Piggy is pink...(AND blonde)! I rest my case. Of cupcakes.To go. =^-.-^=

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

This just makes me giggle. And since I'm on day 3 of this flu bug, I'll gladly giggle as long as it doesn't hurt too much.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

The Kim cake reminds me of my teenage efforts to make my handwriting more "girly" (my handwriting has always been hopelessly "boyish"). Just stick with what you've got folks--it may not be pretty, but at least it will be legible; I seriously could only see "Congrntwhntions" until I read somebody's comment with the assertion that it was actually spelled correctly.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

@Earl of Sandwich ~ Thanks for the giggles!

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

What is wrong with the Kim cake. Can't figure that one out.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered Commentertnw

You started with Deep Thought, and I totally thought you were going Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on me! Now these wrecks make me sad twice over...


March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Actually, I have the serious answer to one of your questions. Cows ARE lactose-intolerant! As a general rule, all adults mammals are lactose-intolerant (including cats, too); it's only the younglings that can digest lactose and they loose that ability later, as it serves no purpose (after all, no adult animal still drinks milk). Humans are a bit of an exception because a subset (mostly those of European descent) developed a mutation that allows them to digest lactose. On a worldwide scale, though, they're still a minority (as most, but not all, people of African or Asian descent are lactose-intolerant, as well as roughly half of people of Hispanic or Jewish descent). This concludes today's science lesson. :)

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmélie

@Nyperold- LOVE the limerick!!! The limerick is NOT dead afterall, that makes me happy.
@TLC - feel better soon! :+)
@Naomi - great name for a new font! You should patent and sell to Microsoft!
@Haikujoy - gracing us with two poems today YAY! I love hanging with the literates!!!
@FluffyCow - NEVER apologize for a super funny haiku, never...
@SuBee - great calamities by the score, what prize do we get for bearing them daily with cheerfulness?
And last but not least, actually, she was first; Bravo Sharyn, Bravo indeed. Love this place.
Have a great weekend y''all

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVBeach Alemap

1-Clown cakes should be outlawed. They are not funny.
2-I didn't know there where still sheep around from the Three Mile Island incident.....
3-Poppa Smurf regretted not seeing the sliding glass door was closed as he ran into it....
4-POWS!!!!(pig cows for those of you not familiar with the breed)
5-Happy Birthday Rodent Killer would be a great name for a band.
6-Fat green and ugly is no way to go thru life, son.
8-Eye chart? C O N G R A U T W H A T I O N S
9-Poor glup hasn't been sure of his age since his tiki hut burned down with the papyrus scroll birth certificate in it.......

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWildDuck

@Earl of Sandwich: I read your comment "hearing" the voice of Rodney Dangerfield! Also, it made me hungry for dip and animal crackers (just not together). Hope you stick around~ I'll bet you've got "a million of 'em."

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Are Andorian Smurfs pink?

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJanus

I'm going to be gluping when my birthday arrives. That sheep is terrifying. Poor Smurf. The frog thing is kinda cute.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

I can't put my finger on exactly why, but the frog cake reminds me of "Flushed Away". (Which, BTW, is hilarious if you haven't seen it.)

Curly Uber Serif Barf! I love it. :)

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

About the mouse-flavored catfood, I allways asked myself that too! (but I never got an answer, I guess I don't know either ;-) ) I can't even pronounce the Kim-cake!Congratwhations? And we actually have smurf-icecream for years over here, it's a popular taste for children, never tried it myself,

Thanks for making my laugh again Jen! (comment over here
"Ah, mom is probably reading cake-wrecks" )

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMiriam

I wonder...

If a 7-11 is open 24 hours, 7 days a week, why do they have locks on their doors?

Why does a towel get darker when it has water splashed on it?

If the universe is constantly expanding, what is it expanding into and does that have a boundary?

Why is 2 + 2 four? I know it is, but WHY?

Why do my daughters not remember to close the refrigerator door, EVER?

I return you to your regularly scheduled universe.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

S'funny.... when I looked at the cowcupcakes, I saw Miss Piggy! Blonde "hair", piggy nose...

And @SuBee: thank you. I needed that quote today. Youngest has been going through a traumatic time, and unfortunately, I've been in the trenches with her. She was having some negative side effects to her meds and is transitioning between old and new treatments. Yesterday she was literally a lunatic; today she is calmer but still not in reality. Thank God she starts her new meds tomorrow. I would not want to be in her head right now; all I can do is offer the support she will let me give her. And know there is hope.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I'm glad someone took the precaution of nailing down all the clowns. I wouldn't want them escaping from the cake and invading my dreams.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxz

Oh, my- The Earl of Sandwich: you nearly killed me with the #1 pencil (figuratively, of course). And put down the clock and step away from the ironing board~~nothing's THAT bad! You almost sound as if you could be related to our mel, with the material you've got! =^~.~^=

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I was wondering about the Congratulations cake too. It looks like it says congrantunations but after looking closely it is actually correct...

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTeebs82

@Krunchifrog: "Never send a rodent to do an amphibian's job!"
Loooooove that film.

The wrecks? Yes, wrecky. The cow one had me giggling like a maniac.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum


March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

Super Big Glups on sale at 7-11.
Thought you'd want to know.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

I imagine the Kim cake as a result of a kid pulling on the Mom's sleeve while she ordered over the phone, so it came out something like "I'd like a cake that says "Congrat - what? - ations", and that's exactly what got put down in frosting. (Yes, I know it's probably just poor choice of font, but I just keep seeing "what" in the middle.)

The shrunken sheep is such a pitiful little bleater I want to take him home and call him "Shaun".

The happy dead clowns, however, can stay right where they are... far, far away.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Well. Since Sharyn and SuBee don't seem inclined to regale us with a song (and because the earworm started and wouldn't let go), please accept this little number for consideration.

Isn't it sad? Ain't it a scare?
These clowns are dead on arrival, blue and green pairs...
Where are the wrecks?

Is that a sheep? Or sick poodle?
Soullessly gazing with legs just like black noodles...
But where are the wrecks? Send in the wrecks...

Lumpy Smurf head - odd pig-nosed cows
Dead rodents on wheels, amphibians just melting down
Making no statements again, just whitespace there
Spelling it out...
Nothing is there

Congrats to Kim! Pipe on some swirls...
I thought she'd want something with berries... and twirls
And where are the wrecks?
Sent in the wrecks...
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich? Isn't it sad?
Thirty-nine isn't old, but gulp got messed-up bad...
Where are the wrecks?
There ought to be wrecks...
We've had them all year.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStarknight

So, sheep do shrink in places when wet. Wool sweaters shrink because the fibers lock together when there is moisture, friction, and enzymes. Wool on the sheep does the same thing, only we call it matting. Think of a person with dreadlocks. It is similar. Ever have a long haired cat whose fur got all matted? Also the same. Happens to my bunnies a lot too.

March 7, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbrandy

@SaraCVT: Virtual hugs for you, and a LLAP sign for your wonderful daughter. I hope the new treatment works quickly, with no bad side effects. Please let us know if you need more words of encouragement, or a moment of goofiness. Nobody rallies like us Wrecktators.

March 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Wonders why all the customers didn't glup when they saw these cakes and run away as fast as they could. Those dead clowns can stay far far away from me though. I saw them and went good riddance evil clowns lol. Yeah I have issues..thank you Stephen King and Tim Curry lol.

March 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I agree with Merry. The second I saw those cow cupcakes all I could think was that Miss Piggy looks awful without her makeup on.

March 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterC.E.Henze

The Kim cake is right, it's just way too curly writing. I think the cow cupcakes are Miss Piggy.

March 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRockygirl

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