My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

How To Talk Like An Internet Pirate

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

And hey, you don't have to be a pirate in order to sound like one!

So here are a few handy phrases to help you fake it today:

- "You want to watch Game of Thrones? Because I have, like, ALL the episodes."


- "With this new Google Fiber, my download speeds are pushing 1.21 giga watts!"


- "Hey baby, you wanna engage in some peer-to-peer file sharing?"

BONUS FOLLOW UP: "It's not just a BitTorrent, girl, it's a BIG Torrent. Yeeeah."


- "Oh, you still pay for cable shows? That is adorable."


- "It's not stealing if you share!"


- "What?! DMCA takedown?"



- "Um, hello there, officer. Can we... help you?"


Thanks to Michelle D., Ginny V., Suzanne S., Anony M., Patti, Veda, & Roscoe for being such good mates today.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Sunday Sweets: Fraggles and Dragons and Groot, Oh My! | Main | The Colors, Man. THE COLORS. »

Reader Comments (35)

I took a shower
before lying on your cake.
That's what good peers do.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Avast me hardies that was an excellent example of talk like a pirate day!! Genius!

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Missed Talk like a Pirate Day this year--maybe next time.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVia

"As you wish." (What? Westley was a pirate, I watch him on the internet, and he said that ALL the time.)

Anyway, to cover all the piracy bases:

Aarrrr you stealing? Aarrrr you stealing?
My show's on! My show's on!
Alarm bells are ringing. Takedowns can be stinging.
It's all gone. It's all gone.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

With a price tag of $25, the "Easter Chick Cakes" would have me making that face. Arrrrrrrrr

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Is that a green rug or quick sand? Looks as though our naked pirate is sinking into the floor a bit.
And sadly, my first thought wasn't "hey, a naked guy!" but "Mmmm, I wonder if that's chocolate??"
Lucky lady indeed.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

I like the second cake. He's kind of cute!

But that Ken doll. . . .thing. Is he a color, or did his hair dye run down his body and color him permanently? Is his right arm digging through the cake and looking for lost treasure? So creepy, and so disturbing on so many levels.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Aye Cap'n Jen your posts are always shipshape and above deck. The wreckerators should be made to walk the plank. Avast ye scurvey dogs!

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I'm not quite sure what was in my coffee this morning, but for the Easter chick cake I saw a puffer fish with its tongue poking out, peeking between orange tulips. The tulip on the right appears to be giving me the finger. Hmm. Maybe I just need *more* coffee...

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Lucky lady, indeed… a love cake featuring a naked half-man with a heart on ….

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Boy Blue

Sucking on almonds,
the Easter chicks surrender.
Won't go nuts again.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZeldabird

The fourth cupcake is sort of cute actually. It reminds me of an Angry Bird.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

These cakes be disturbing to the eye and brain arr

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Those are hearts? Not you-know-what doing you-know-what to the cake?

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkt

Talk like a pirate at a Krispy Kreme to get a free doughnut. Dress up like one to get a free dozen. =D I did it this morning. And bought a pumpkin cheesecake one to try. Om nom nom.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJen

That one cake looks like it's reacting when they bring out the knife to cut it!

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

I knew it must be talk like a pirate day when the guy at the farmer's market said his corn was a buck an ear....

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Hey behbeh, my lil'
chocolate bonbon.
Come a little closer, dear.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Q: What be a pirate's favorite kind of socks? A: ARRRRR-gyle!

And don't forget, mateys, that it also be the birthday of that sassy little witch, Hermione Granger. (Go to YouTube and do a search for "Hermione Granger The Pirate Queen." You'll be thanking me for it.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPurpleRanger

Hanging my head in shame that it took me until the third cake to get it. <Sadly hands in nerd card.>

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

I actually misread the Lemon Chicks as saying, "with Lemon Turd".

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersue

Little Boy Blue - we know who you aaaarrrrrrr, matey.

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

Jen -- yum! Now I'm craving a pumpkin doughnut! And I'm in rural Wyoming -- hundreds of miles from the nearest Krispy Kreme!

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@mel: Ugh


September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Shiver my timbers, that must be Roger the Cabin Boy on cake 3, waiting to come on board. Have him washed and sent to my cabin, he's due for a lashing. Tell Master Bates and Seaman Staines to stop what they're doing and assist with the flogging! Arrr, avast behind my hearties....

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

@FM: sorry...(but I hope you chortled in your joy, as Lewis Carroll would say....)

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@Nanalettie: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-iver me timbers...say anymore and you'll walk the plank..... :-)

September 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Boy Blue

Hmm and here I thought everyone went crazy today lol. Wouldn't be different than any other day but pirate talk is what I have my facebook set to so everyday is pirate day. Yay me lol.

September 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

If you have not discovered the amazing Tom Smith ("The World's Fastest Filker"), let me assist you - Not only did he write the official sea shanty for "Talk Like a Pirate Day", he did, as PurpleRanger pointed out, write a song about the "Pirate Queen of Hogwarts", as well as a little ditty about the "Pirate Ninjas From Dino Island" (which, sadly, is not on YouTube). So for your listening pleasure:

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Hey, it's Can(n)on - [Hermione Granger the Pirate Queen]

September 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCapt. Video

Why are the expensive Easter Chick cakes frightened and why do they have tiny almond beaks?

September 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

Last cake = Furby family reunion. Shivering in me timbers.

September 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

@Nobodee Home- BWAHAHAHA! Love Furbies and they are so underappreciated in the cake world!

September 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

I like that first one. It looks like a young teenager with some talent made it for a bake sale. I wouldn't pay a lot for it, but I would pay for it. Is that cream cheese frosting?

September 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJenny Islander

Ha ha, you used the one I submitted with the Ken doll! Okay, so a local grocery store did this one, which I nearly got in trouble for taking. Just as I snapped the photo, the woman working in bakery walked up to me and asked if I needed anything, but I think she caught on to what I was doing. I took it because he's basically shoved so far into the cake, he looks like he's a part of the rug! It's like he's melted into it or something. I don't know if he's a full doll or just a cross section :-p It was so bad though, I knew I had to share it.

September 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne S.

As a pirate (the Internet kind), I super love these, especially the DMCA one. xD

Side note: do you think Internet pirates count as the Flying Spaghetti Monster's chosen people, or just the non-land-lubbing (sea-lubbing?) kind? 'Cause if we do, global warming's gonna start subsiding pretty soon. I'm calling it.

October 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

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