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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Symbol Crash!

We've learned by now to never ask a wreckerator to actually draw anything, but surely they can handle a simple paw print like this, right?

[insert loud, raucous laughter here]




Oh, sorry. I was trying to... [putting on sunglasses]... PAWS FOR EFFECT.


Granted, this Army 1st Sergeant insignia is little more complicated, but rest assured: if a baker tells you she can do it, SHE CAN DO IT.

Or she's working for the evil eye of Sauron.


This next one is a fancy-schmancy emblem you put on your car, I assume to brag about the fact that you enjoy tomato juice:


And this is the groom's cake a baker made after studying that symbol for a solid 3 seconds before proceeding to recreate it entirely from memory and plumber's putty:

Peanut gallery? Start your engines.


And finally, this wrecker has a cool party trick! Turn a Falcon:

...into a real turkey!

[head tilt]

Or maybe a Pac-Man ghost, eating a banana?


Thanks to Rosemary H., Sarah C., Kerry K., & Shai C. for proving once again cupcake cakes (patooie!) are for the birds.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (36)

Is that 8 really a couple of doughnuts in disguise?

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I get the feeling that the wreckerater of the first cake doesn't even know that was a picture of a paw print. I think he/she took the general design and ran with it, not even knowing what it was supposed to be. I have never thought of cake decorating as a profession before, but suddenly I feel like I would do fabulous at it, at least compared to these jokers!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

You keep wrecking these cakes. I do not think those things look like you think they look. -- Inigo Montoya

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

First Sergeant! (Yes Sir!)
Your country rejects this cake!
Is that clear! (Yes Sir!)

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The V8 monstrosity is actually an, erm, anatomically correct grey stick figure, upside down.

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAri

The last one looks a lot like Fredo from Fredo and Pidjin (Fredo is the bigger one).

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCrowbar

Now see, I'm thinking the V8 cake is actually the Silver Bunny of DOOM!!!!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeloise

Pac man ghost "winky"? Are you happy to see me? and did anyone else make "whonk-whonk-whonk" sounds in their head when they saw this cake?

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

That last one looks more like one of the ghost from Pac Man giving a Razzberry!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

I don't know about the rest of the country, but in the Northeast 99.6% of all elementary, middle and high schools are represented by some animal with paws (panthers, bears, wildcats and the like.) I'm assuming it's because the paw symbol is so very simple. It's easy for the kids to draw. It's cheaper to replicate on t-shirts and those ubiquitous car magnets.
Well take that, stingy school administrators. This is what you get when you cut corners. You should have gone with a proud, majestic bird of some sort. A hawk. An eagle. A pigeon. Oh, wait...

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Bwah! THe Pacman ghost eating a banana is my happy thought for the day! With a close second going to Sharyn's Princess Bride reference!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Paw Print (with apologies to Albert Morris)

Paw print,
I just want a paw print
Trying just to get my, paw print drawn right

Rolling down on my face
When I can’t get my, paw print done right

Paw print,
For this cake I want one
I wish I’d never met you, (hurl)
You’ll never get it right

Paw print,
Wo-o-o paw print
Wo-o-o paw print
But not on my cake

Paw print,
Paw print I have lost you
And I feel like I’ll never have you
Ever on my cake

(repeat third, fourth and fifth stanza ad nauseam)

Note: this is for @SuBee who used this song a short while ago and got it stuck in my head – not a pleasant thing. A large part of the reason for that is because this song reminded me of my school’s periodic junior high sock-hops. Held immediately after school in the gymnasium, with all the light on full blast and chaperoned by every teacher in the school, the sock-hop – so named because you couldn’t wear your shoes in the gym, only socks – was every adolescent boy’s dream and nightmare, rolled into one promising, yet terrifying experience. Typically, the girls mingled on one side of the gym, giggling and laughing, while the boys stood on the other side, filled with hope and fear. There we were: awkward, shy, knowing nothing about how to dance, with our hormones wreaking havoc with us and encouraging us to be bold. Of course, “be bold” meant asking a girl to dance. While the girls were cheerfully dancing about on their side of the gym – in two’s, three’s and fours – they didn’t care – the boys, while eager, were frozen by fear: what if we asked a girl to dance and she said no? We all knew the answer, of course – life as we knew it would end, at least for a few weeks.

Fast dancing was out of the question. When adolescent boys tried fast dancing, it looked like they had stepped onto an electrified floor. Arms and legs shook with no apparent rhyme or reason, or rhythm. Each clearly danced to his own drummer. It had to be a slow dance. A slow dance just involved carefully putting your hand on the girl’s waist, making sure there was at least a foot of space between you, and then holding her other hand, arms away from your bodies. If done with someone you really, really liked, you tingled. But once you summoned the courage to do this, the problem was in the timing. When a slow song started, you had to get over to the other side of the gym, approach the girl and ask her to dance, knowing full well that if she said no you would die right there, publically, and your tombstone would simply say, “She said no.”

You decide to risk it. A slow song starts. You carefully maneuver your way to the far edge of the gym. Nobody in their right mind would just walk straight across the floor. Your heart is pounding like the proverbial trip hammer and you’re sweating like crazy – and your socks are getting wet and you squish as you walk. As you reach the end of your side and start across, suddenly a million spotlights come on and focus on you. The gym becomes silent and then you hear a loud voice say, “There he goes, folks. It’s mel making his way across the gym. He’s going for it. He’s going to ask a girl to dance. Good luck, mel.” You can only walk in slow motion as you struggle to get to the other side before the song ends. At least that’s what happens in your mind as you "nonchalantly" wander over to the girls’ side, praying and hoping the entire way….

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

I see a dog print and you see a dot print
I see a sergeant and you, eye of Sauron
Dog print, dot print
Sergeant, Sauron...let's call the whole thing off!
I see a V8 and you see a headache
I see a falcon and you see ghost pacman
V8, headache
falcon, pacman...let's call the whole thing off!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Lulz sharyn and haiku joy :D the cakes...I swear they are hiring out of pre-k clases.....

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The V8 looks like the unfortunate offspring of Mr. Peanut and the Playboy Bunny.

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

I'm thinking the last one is actually the Muppet called Sam the Eagle. Except not very well done.

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

My high school's mascot was the Bandersnatch. I always thought that was funny, bordering on silly, I now realize it was well thought out. Get the colors right (maroon & white) and any image a wreckerator put on a cake would be correct!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Hee, Julia, you're right there!

By the way, sorry for my typo above! For some reason the print is now very very small where I type my messages. Strange.

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Jane, I MUST know what high school has the Bandersnatch as a mascot.
That would be hilarious!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Win goes to Sharyn for the PB reference!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRogo

@Haiku_Joy, that is a masterpiece. Well done.

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

@mel - Don't leave us hanging like that! Did the girl say yes, or what?!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKris 10

Mel! Fantastic recreation of sock hop memories! Except that the girls were also terrified, make no mistake.

No boy is ever, ever going to ask me to dance. The whole evening will pass - no, the whole school year will pass - and I will be the one girl who has never ventured on the floor. The newspaper reporters and photographers are waiting at the gym doors to pounce on me, with all the other kids jeering and laughing as my picture is snapped for the front page of this week's Shopper paper, documenting my humiliation for all posterity. Except that I will never have posterity because no boy will ever ask me to dance, let alone marry him!

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCloudy

@Kris 10: Alas, I never found out, for I was far, far too shy, and thus too slow to ever make it all the way across the gym before the music ended and another fast song started….

@Cloudy: thank you…you hid your anxiety well…you sure looked confident bopping all over the place and laughing…this was the 50’s, and the onus was on the boy to ask…except for the Sadie Hawkins Day Sock Hop, when our roles were reversed, and then we had those thoughts….thanks for the other side of the gym’s view…we were so immobilized by our own insecurity that it never occurred to us that girls might have some, too….

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

I was trying to... [putting on sunglasses]... PAWS FOR EFFECT.
Heheh. Thanks for the Horatio reference :-)

As for the cakes...I don't even, I mean, how do you screw up a paw print?? It's a circle with 4 smaller circles surrounding it. What's so hard about that?

September 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Oh man lmao. That last cake.. it really does look like an orange ghost staring at a banana and wondering what to do with it.Ah wreckerators keep making me laugh. My husband thinks I am insane lol.

September 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Wow, these are awful. Your Eye of Sauron comment made me giggle though, so thanks for that. Fortunately no one was around to assume I'm plotting world domination (why everyone assumes that whenever I giggle at my laptop, I have no idea).

That last cake would be kind of cute if they were aiming for a cartoonish eagle.

@Jane Having the Bandersnatch as a school mascot is awesome. I would have loved that (and actually bought/worn the shirts and such with the school mascot on it).

September 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

Well, I, for one, absolutely LOVE cupcake cakes. (It's the only time I ever get almost enough icing!)

September 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBea

The last cake looks like one of the seagulls from Finding Nemo. "Mine?" :)

September 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterR is for Rose

Do you think whoever ordered the sergeant's stripes cake also requested the balloons & sprinkles? Imagine the decorator had done a perfect job of reproducing the stripes, with the rest of the cake the same. That's a serious mismatch.

September 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

isn't that the v8 from flo's v8 café?

September 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAruna

What's that "KAB"? Is it some kind of puzzle where you see KAB and then some picture and then need to guess what they mean together? Like... KABTURKEY or KABGHOSTWITHBANANA ?

September 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkit

The Falcon is hilarious... he looks confused..... and a little sad.

September 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

That last cake is my Alma Mater. It's not even facing the right direction! And it's a cupcake cake. Sad day for Freddie Falcon.

September 24, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAng

Cupcake cake? Which one of those was a cupcake cake? *looks back* I don't see... oh. Oh no. No! *gags*

September 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCandice

The Falcon cake is also my alma mater, BGSU (in Ohio). That cake looks horrible! Just like Ang said, it's a sad day for Freddie Falcon.

October 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

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