My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Wacked Out Wrecks

Some days you've really got to wonder: just what are they doing in bakeries these days?

And more importantly: if we ask, will they share?


After all, anyone who makes something like this:

(Blueberry iced cupcakes topped with wrapped cinnamon gum? Score!) clearly beyond the party-pooping cares of "reality."


In fact, sometimes I come across a cake so bizarre, so insane, so what-were-they-thinking?? nuts, that I have no choice but to tip the ol' metaphorical hat in respect.

A Styrofoam cup embedded in mold-flecked balls of yellow "soda" surrounded by a poo wall?

[tipping hat] Well played, master Wreckerator. Well played.


Megan A., Desiree C., & Amber T., I wouldn't recommend zooming in on that "soda" unless you're on a diet.


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Reader Comments (39)

And you know everyone is going to zoom in on the "soda", just 'cause you said not to.
I didn't, of course. I'm a good girl.
Hahahahahahaha!! No seriously -- I just had breakfast.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

For the "soda" cake I think the yellow stuff is supposed to be popcorn, maybe? Not that it's less of a wreck for all that. And the second cake is bizarre too.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

I think we are discovering what Cheech and Chong did as a sideline...

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

I feel that they really stifled my creativity by writing "soda" on the styrofoam cup. Just think of where our imaginations might have taken us otherwise (the first one that comes to mind is a "sample cup" gone wrong).

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I suppose if anyone was going to be a poo jockey, it would be a clown...

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

to paraphrase Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart: I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [wacked out wrecks]; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and these definitely be that.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

In fabric stores, they have "remnant" bins for all the leftover pieces of fabric at the end of the bolt. And some people buy them and do creative things with them.

Could these be remnant cakes, made with the scraps of whatever was laying around?

It's the only explanation that makes sense to me. I mean, blueberries and cinnamon gum? (hurk)

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Until I looked closer, I thought the cupcakes had little strips of bacon on top. I mean, who wouldn't love an iced blueberry muffin with bacon on top for breakfast. Maybe that was because my mind was so confused by the clown riding the poo dog.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

haha! At least it was chewing gum on the cupcakes. I'll take that over real, cooked bacon (which is what I thought it was at first glance).

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

Yeah, I got nothin

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

I can't even comprehend.....

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I think the yellow stuff below the soda is fat. There was an ad campaign in New York City, showing a soda cup overflowing with fat, equating all of the sugar in the soda to the fat someone will put on drinking it.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChung

Cake one: this tells the story of a clown with a shaggy dog story and non- stop laughing – he couldn’t finish….

Cake two – the gum says it all…these cupcakes carefully depict, on a sea-blue background, an epic battle between the Greek god Poseidon and the Roman god Neptune using symbolic shorthand: crossed Tridents….

Cake three: an adage in the making, take one: Don’t cry over spilled Mello Yello…

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermel-lo

Peeps with acid poured on them?

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterlissa


January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Perhaps the yellow balls was supposed to be the foam on a soda? Cause beige cola foam is not appetizing....

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

@mel-lo Bravo!!! Especially the epic sea god battle depiction!! :D

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

When in doubt, check the photo credit! It always explains EVERYTHNG!
"ambert.ow.spilledsoda.jpg?"<That's what it reads for the "peeps-under-plastic" delicacy. There you go!
For the first one, it reads: "racingclowncreature". What they AREN'T saying is that the racer is crossing the finish line from the wrong direction, which unfortunately disqualified the whole sad mess. Not to add insult to stupidity, but the clown looks as though it *finished* way ahead of the line, anyway.
I cannot help but think/hope that the instructions given to the wreckorator of the for the blueberry cupcakes was that they were to put ACTUAL cinnamon sticks on top. I don't know, but those ARE quite expensive (as the crow flies) so I can't blame them for substituting. (I WILL laugh, though. There's a limit to my sympathy.) Also, they don't look very "ASSORTED" (as stated on the label), but we "could" let that slide, because technically, they ARE all separate, and so "could" be considered ...Oh, balls... of glop- I give up.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Mel, I have missed you, under any name.

Scientifically speaking, and why shouldn't we attempt to bring the order and rigor of science to these "cakes," at least we know what caused the mold on the peeps being dissolved in soda (another name for acid). Poop has never been known for its sterile qualities.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

the first one ... the clown on the ... um, animal ... is there a CAKE under there? or is it just 3 pounds of extruded sugar fluff (aka bakery "frosting")?

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

At first I thought the yellow was popcorn but why would you have popcorn spilling out of a cup labeled soda? Now I think it's highly carbonated, possibly radioactive, Mountain Dew.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAddy

If somebody redoes Flipper The Clown so he's riding a frosted Armadillo instead, I will totally purchase this dessert.

Also, it might sound weird, but actually a blueberry pie, cobbler, or tart is divine with a dash of cinnamon mixed in before baking.

Maybe the bakery down the road, where the staff gives a [redacted], can help us with that.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterms_xeno

OK, I zoomed. I had to know... is that MOLD on the yellow stuff??!?

And if it is not mold, and they just put little green bits on top for funsies- WHY? Inquiring stomachs want to know!

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoe

I think looking at the file names of the pictures will give us the wrong idea. The pictures are sent in by innocent bystanders who, after all, are just as confused as we are.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

just a thought... maybe the blueberry cupcakes wreck should be in the category of failure to communicate. I can almost see someone with a Neptune/Ocean theme asking for cupcakes with blue icing like the ocean... with some tridents on top... It makes more sense than cinnamon gum.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Just noticed! So, HAPPY 1/15/15, everyone! And Bigg3469-you are the 15th commentor!

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Mel!!! I have missed you too! Crossing tridents...<snort>

Wow, the clown...I remember when I was a kid, clowns had a GREAT that reputation has been tarnished by Killer Clowns (from outerspace), the Insane Clown Posse, and various other murderous characters in white pancake wearing a ball on their nose...Clowns went from being good children's entertainment to creepy, murderous sociopaths...what happened? I used to like them at five, now...they just freak me out man...riding a poo dog...<shudder>

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Those are blueberry cupcakes with chewing gum. That made me think of Charlie & the Chocolate Factory where Violet Beauregard chewed gum & turned into a giant blueberry. Maybe it's for a themed party?
That's all I got.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRie

Dog? What dog? That first one is a centipoop.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGrammar Gracie

mel, is it really you?? Thank goodness. I was afraid the PanWow people had gotten to you!

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Were the last 2 cakes on the Dec 11 post ever identified?
I've checked back on that page occasionally, and there's no answer there, but I've missed a lot of comments since then. I'm still wondering what they were supposed to be.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBookworm

I thought "soda bubbles" (if that is what it is supposed to be) was made of melted peeps

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterselkie

@anony mouse: Thank you…I had to chew that Trident thing over for a while…. :-)
@Nanalettie, @VaBeach alemaP, and @SuBee: Thank you for your kind remarks – I took a little time off, changed my weekly routine, and upped my ante in roller derby by joining a league (no, I’m a non-skating member) – so I’m busier than ever. But, I’m still around, and things are settling down, so I’ll be around more. Thanks again.

January 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermel

What the.. a clown riding a pile of poop? Lmao! Now I think I have seen just about all there can possibly be in wreckage. Oh man.. I fear that soda cup too though now I want to zoom in..

January 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Welcome back, mel. Wondering: What would happen if the naked carrot babies and the clown on the poo-dog had a race to the finish? Who would win? Would anyone?

January 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

@Nobodee Home - WE would win, by laughing our heads off! =-)

January 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

@Nobodee Home: Thanks!

January 16, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermel

Can you imagine how soft and mushy that gum is? The horror of the clown riding a poop monster will be tonight's nightmare. I don't even know what to say about the toxic "soda" spilled over the cake.

January 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEmilie

I'm voting for sea-blue icing with "tridents" on top...just hilarious that the baker would think it was the gum, and then put the WRAPPED gum right into the frosting ... food safety police would not like that one bam dit.

Great comments--especially enjoyed yours, Mel.

P.S. Folks, one of these days I hope to make clever comments on this site ... but I'm not there yet. Please be patient as I am usually pretty funny in person... or maybe that's just about how I look <g>.

June 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

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