Cake After People
What would happen if every baker on earth...[dramatic voice]...disappeared?
This isn't the story of how they might vanish. It's what happens to the cakes they leave behind. This is just part of the journey that will take us to the future of once active bakeries, as well as haunting sites already devoid of taste. Welcome to earth, population: zero.
In the depths of bakery windows everywhere, dust gathers. Icing crumbles. With no workers here to clean, once-sweet treats become deadly harbingers of disease.
Sun-bleached displays now resemble so much worn, waxy marble, making it impossible to distinguish what once was a timeless tasty treat.
Uh. Lot of alliteration in this half of the script, huh?
Sound guy: Alliter what now?
Never mind.
Geothermal flash floods bring with them river rock and debris. Amazingly, the petrified pastries persevere.
Seriously? "Petrified pastries persevere?" Who wrote this?
sound guy: I think it was the new guy; he had to finish up when Jerry took leave. Look, just go with it; we're on a roll.
[sigh] Fine.
In dank, darkened displays, filthy, festering folds of fondant mask the moldering malformed mess, made more malignantly misshapen in much...
[throwing script down] Oh come on!!
sound guy: What?
I'm ad-libbing from here. Deal with it.
Fine. Let's wrap this up.
Yeeeeee-haw!
Come and get it!!
sound guy: Seriously?
Seriously.
*****
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