Mostly Armless

John and I are celebrating Valentine's day a little differently this year, minions.

See, John's having surgery this afternoon, so tomorrow he'll be trussed up sleep-drooling in the recliner, while I eat chocolate and plan elaborate scenarios to convince him the zombie apocalypse happened while he was unconscious.

 

If you're wondering how this is different from any other Valentine's, then clearly you know us well and we should hang out sometime. (I could use fresh zombie faces.)

Yep, our Valentine's day will include lots of complicated straps and ice cubes and... hang on, that sounds kinky.

 

What I mean is, we're going to be trying out some new machinery in the bedroom.

But not like that.

 

Look, I'm just going to be restraining John in a loving manner and force-feeding him heavy narcotics along with macaroni and cheese, but DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA.

 

We're both consenting adults.

 

And I'm sure John will be fine.

Eventually.

 

Anyway, just didn't want to give you guys the wrong idea.

Also, I just realized I never mentioned John's surgery is on his shoulder, so my BRILLIANT title pun has gone unappreciated this entire post. Curses.

Ah well.

 

Thanks to Jen K., Jennifer H., Joan J., Alessandra V., Maggie L., Chenoa C., & Elisabeth W. for reminding us that sometimes, love hurts.

*****

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