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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I May Be The Only One Seeing A Dong Here, And I'm OK With That

You know that old joke about the horse that goes into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Hey buddy, why the dong face?"

I mean, I've heard of a stiff upper lip before, but this is ridiculous.


I guess he's feeling a little... let down... over these other unicorn wrecks:

[head tilt]

Is it just me, or does this get more confusing the longer you look at it? I mean, is that second eye a nose? And is that her neck... or her mouth? What... what... what.


This next order was on a strict "need to know" basis:

Sorry, Ben; sadly your baker needed to know reading comprehension.


And finally, here's one I KNOW beyond any shadow of doubt is a unicorn... because there's a small picture of a unicorn beside it:

Well played, baker. WELL PLAYED.


Thanks to Danielle L., Amy P., Tanner C., & Sara P., who I know are all super proud of me for not making a single "horny" joke. IT WAS REALLY HARD, YOU GUYS.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

« Of Newspapers And Key Wangs | Main | Aw, Some Sauce! »

Reader Comments (15)

Yay! Jen used my unicorn cake picture! I’VE ARRIVED! I’M MARY POPPINS, Y’ALL!!! (Ahem. Got a little carried away, there...)

My picture is the last one, found at my local Store-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, and I figured it was the most depressed unicorn I’d ever seen. It actually does have a horn; in between two blue frosting blobs the golden horn is lying limply back. For some reason, its ears are also sagging, bent over and back, perhaps so it can’t hear all the unkind comments. When Youngest saw it, she immediately wanted to give it a hug because it looked so sad.

November 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I don't know, I kind of like the last one—as a Baymax/Medusa mashup, anyway.

November 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGloom Raider

The second cake really IS confusing! Especially as the label says it's a football cake. The baker is more confused than we are - and that's going some.

November 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Not that it's really much of an excuse but I'm pretty sure the last one is basically a "build your own unicorn" cake kit. You can see what's probably an instruction sheet under the cardboard.

November 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

@Annette: No, that’s not an instruction sheet. Since the cake was in the display case, not a clamshell, the price tag was folded under the cakeboard. If anyone bought the cake (I almost did, just because it looked SOO sad), they could give the paper to the cashier to scan. It actually does have all its parts, they’re just... limp. The golden horn is lying down on the job, between two blue blobs of frosting on the head.

November 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

#3 is mind boggling. How the wreckorator can't read their own order forms.... Astounding....

November 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterColin

Sorry Ben, it also looks like a female horse.

November 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

I think the second cake is the Peppa Pig version of a unicorn. Creepy.

November 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Well that one cake has a football description. Now if they think footballs look like this.. I don't want to go to that bakery lol I can only imagine what they would do to clowns.

November 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Oh Lord. What a mess.

I totally agree with Elizabeth and the Peppa Pig Unicorn.

Sara. SO proud of your CakeWreck accomplishment! Huzzah to you! I always make an effort to walk by the (decorated) cakes in stores I visit... so far I've seen some sad cakes, but none that could proudly carry a CakeWreck crown. I continue to search....


November 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Oh, they're not exactly special snowflakes, but they sure are unique horns...

1) That poor thing! Having to contend with the fact that it was made as a cupcake cake (patooie!), and with a serious case of goitre, to boot!

2) Holy crêpe! Not only is it a cupcake cake, but a very obvious cupcake cake at that (bleargh, paTOOIe... ew)! Can't make heads or tails of that, either... the decorator sure couldn't make a head!

3) No, no, no, you're all getting it wrong! It is a nice little game from baker to birthday boy! See, little Ben is being dared to put a horn on the horse, so go for it, Ben! I know you can horn that horse!

...Come to think of it, it sounded rather inappropriate. Well. Uh...

4) @SaraCVT Store-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named? Did you shop at VoldeMart? (GASP!) That certainly explains the vile treatment given to such a pure being in cake form.

Of course it was hard not to come up with a horn joke. That sort of thing just comes out naturally.

Now, excuse me, gonna buy a cake... at Kwik-E-Mordor. Maybe will ask them to make a cake based on a ring... or a hobbit village, something like that. Wish me luck.

November 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGutz Grilla

But they did make a U-nicorn out of that horse for Ben! The U is right there! lol If only they could remember which notes were instructions and which were meant for the cake. This time, maybe it helped to explain the cake to the rest of us???

November 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

@SaraCVT -- WOW, that's just.... pathetically sad.

November 15, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

That second cake almost looks OK, if you squint, tilt your head, and forget that there is another cupcake hiding under the sticker. As others have said, at that point it looks a little like a Peppa Pig unicorn.
With a blunt horn.
Because cupcakes aren't pointy and never will be, and so maybe don't try to make them look like unicorns???

November 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAngie NK

That last cake is actually a large Funko Pop figurine! 😶

November 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNick Meta

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