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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

7 Bakers Tackle A Football Helmet, Somehow We All Win

Sometimes the Universe forces your hand, minions, and with the Superbowl charging down on us this week I'm left with no choice but to acknowledge the elephant in the bakery:

Ok, that's supposed to be a helmet, but tell me you didn't see an elephant there for a sec.


Like the Superbowl itself, helmets are supposed to be, you know, bowl shaped. And yet...



Any Disney fan worth her salt can tell you this is the Doom Buggy from the Haunted Mansion:


And there's no turning back now. MWUAHHAHAAAA.

Pac-Man's cousin, Whale-Barfing-Man.


After a while your brain starts to break, so I honestly can't tell anymore: does this look like a helmet?

Or does it look like a guy trying to see his own belly button?


I feel like this baker made the eyes look like footballs - or the footballs look like eyes - just to keep us guessing:

I mean, if you turn this upside down, isn't that a field goal? So is this some mad genius at work? Are we simply to plebeian to appreciate the forward-thinking design of a sporting savant?


And is this a wang?

I mean, I see a wang. Not a healthy one. Not necessarily even a human one. But definitely in the wang-adjacent department, is what I'm saying.

Which would bring a whole new meaning to "get your head in the game," am I right? Heyooooo.


Well, I hope you enjoyed these less-than super head bowls, minions. Stay tuned, and maybe next time I'll throw some wreckerator-assembled footballs your way:

Oh yeah, it's gonna be a home. RUN.


Thanks to Amanda V., Teri D., Angela L., Jennifer, Kacia L., Rachel & Kelly, Sara S., & Jen S. for using their heads. Snerk.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

« MEAT WEEK!! | Main | The Final Countdown »

Reader Comments (10)

1) Looks like Frosty lost an eyeball. But why put a cap on him? Won't that make him melt?
2) Remember "Kilroy was here"? This looks like him with the sun coming up behind him.
3) I think this goes with the Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
4) That's a Nautilus. See his tentacles and siphon?
5) Is that someone's hand doing an alligator imitation?
6) Now it's Kilroy at the moon rise over the ocean.
7) Too bad this isn't basketball. I could see a magic johnson joke here.
8) It's Overinflate Gate!

January 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

I think that 1st one is not soo bad, given that the baker was trying to do a flat helmet on a round cake. I do have problems with what looks like an empty eye socket, and his odd mouth. Most of the rest are arguments against CCCs, but at least the last one didn't try to hide the cupcakes under a layer of frosting.

January 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Hey, if they're fleece-lined, send 'em to Chicago. We'll wear anything when it's -20F.
In fact, that second one looks like Bears colors…or me when I had to go out to start my car this morning.

January 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

"whale-barfing man": HA HA ha hahahahahahaha. Yes, exactly. I'm going to be laughing about that for a while.
I would have NO idea what these were supposed to be, and not just because I don't follow sports. I've been looking at this site for a long time and these are some of the worst I've seen. Congratulations!

January 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterFM

OMG JEN! Between the bellybutton cake and the wangish cake I was OVERCOME with laughter. Here's to spitting out a taco salad.

Dang! I've been reading Cake Wrecks for a long, long time I should know better than to eat/drink when reading this blog.

Thanks so much for the hilarity.... it was sorely needed!


January 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Wow, all of these cakes look like something, I’m just not sure it’s a football helmet. Especially the second one. I see a pharaoh. Yep, King Tut.

January 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJansville

I immediately saw Pearl from Spongebob in that first one.

January 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

That elephant actually looked like “Dad dy Shark Doot Doo Da Doot Doo...” You’re welcome.

January 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMarnieB

Thank you for helping me see "guy trying to look at his belly button". Ha! I rarely discover these hidden images on my own, but once seen they cannot be unseen.

January 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

That one with eyes looks awfully sad. So would you be if someone replaced the goalposts with a pitchfork
Time for a song

Oh helmet eyes, oh helmet eyes
How doleful are your lashes.
Oh football face, oh football face
How crazy are your goalposts.
I am surprised at bakers' skills
Less Superbowl than dead roadkill
Oh bakeries, oh bakeries
How did they pass the interview?

January 31, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSomeone New

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