Men Of Marvel

Note: This post is not appropriate for young children. And the older ones will be all, "Ooooohh! I'm gonna tell DADDY!!" so you might lock them out, too.

Spider-Man's dirty little secret revealed:

Now that's a Dynamic Duo.

Here's one of the lesser-known heroes, Essenem Man:

He may not be much of a fighter, but he is always on the ball.

GRRAAA!! HULK TENSE!!

HULK TRY RELIEVE TENSION.

The good news: little Ryder had no idea why his mom was in such a hurry to cut the cake.

The bad news: everyone else at the party did.

Liz D., Kristen C., Mark F., & Rebecca J., I would tell you who my favorite superhero is, but I'm afraid it's a three-way tie.

Note: If you're wondering, the second cake is supposed to be Batman. Obviously.

*****

P.S. Something about Ryder's cake reminded me of those shiny blue balls that keep your produce fresh. Have you seen these?

Blueapple Freshness Saver Balls

Just pop one in your crisper drawer and the other in your fruit bowl, and these will absorb the ethylene gas that quickens ripening, so all your fruits and veg stay fresh longer. Seems like witchcraft, I know, but go check the thousands of rave reviews: apparently they really work! Each set lasts 3 months, and you get 2 apples for $18.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

It's A Tough Job But Someone's Gotta Blow It

WARNING: In-your-end-o jokes ahead. Hide the kids!

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John: "Hey, we had a few complaints about that baby shower cake, so let's steer clear of anything too off-color today, ok?"

Jen: "Noooo problem. I have the perfect ON color cake we can use."

John: "Yeah?"

Jen: "Yep. I call it, 'TASTE THE RAINBOW.'"

John: "NO. Definitely no."

Jen: "What, you don't like it?
"Then how about 'Rubber Baby Buggy Balls'?"

"See, you can already tell it's a boy!"

John: "Why does the stroller have... ?! Never mind. No."

Jen: "Tiger Beat?"

John: "You're killing me here.

"Can't you just post some wrecky flowers or something? Please?"

Jen: "Flowers? ON IT."

[five minutes later]

"Got one! This baker says her co-worker made a border of 'exotic flowers.' You like?

"I think I'll call it, 'Ring Around the Posy Peens.'"

John: [silent glare]

"The Pollenators?"

[...]

"Petal Pushers?"

[...]

"Sticky Stamens?"

[...]

"Calla Willies?"

[...]

"One-Eyed Snapdragons?"

[...]

"Penis Flytraps?"

John: "You're answering tomorrow's e-mail."

Thanks to Jody M., Amber G., Ashley, & Anony M. for helping us find the rainbow... erection.

*****

P.S. Need a cool gift that doesn't involve X-rated flowers? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet of perfectly safe-for-work flowers:

Fresh Cut Paper Pop-Up Flowers

Although if you want to call that center one a Calla Willy, I won't stop you.

And you can stock up with the three-pack!

There are more flower styles and colors at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: