Flotsam

Flotsam Plops

The concept is simple: take an otherwise passable cake, and then stick a completely unrelated piece (or pieces) of plastic flotsam on it. Voila! Flotsam plop.

Oh, and when I say "completely unrelated," I mean "completely unrelated."

And lo, unto us a carrot cake is borne.
And high, we suspecteth the Wreckerator was. Eth.

Look, this carrot cake was doing just fine without divine accompaniment - so why the plastic angel pick? Did the Wreckerator think that was actually helping, or was s/he meeting some flotsam distribution quota?

 

Care to pick a pack of plops?

The migrating guitar herd strikes again.

 

Here's how you pander to fanboys and fangirls everywhere:

No, no, it's not a blue dog - it's a BAT dog. Sha-pow!

 

Plus, that upside-down bat logo tells us he sticks to the ceiling!

Bringing "downward facing dog" to new heights.

 

Perhaps you don't think these examples have been ridiculous enough, though. Nooo problem. What would you say to Dora the Explorer's head stuck in another doll cake's lap?

Go ahead. Try and imagine that's just the world's largest, creepiest belt buckle.

Personally, I'd say "Hola, Dora! S-O-C-K-S!" Because that's all the Spanish I know. I never learned what it means, though, so here's hoping it's not something dirty. (Although, frankly, that might be appropriate here.)

I have some thoughts about the snowman in the gal's lap behind Dora, too, but for all our sakes I'll leave that to you guys in the comments.

 

So, just how bad is the flotsam plop epidemic getting?

This bad:

Because even cake sold by-the-slice needs accessorizing.
And Superman beats everybody at bowling.

 

Katrina S., Lisa K., Dawn, Frzn D., & Jane D., "flotsam plops" is officially my new favorite phrase. Flotsamplopsflotsamplopsflotsamplops. Heehee!

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P.S. Here's one of the coolest gift ideas I've seen for a Batman fan, also works great for anniversities, aniverys, and bat mitzvahs. (See what I did there?))

Leather Bat Key Fob Case

How awesome is this?

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Free Throws

A while back one of our readers suggested a fun activity for the next book tour: set up plain frosted cakes, and let contestants hurl various bits of candy, flotsam, and ribbon at said cakes. Whichever looks "best" wins.

Unfortunately, I think some wreckerators out there took this as career advice.

And believe me: there are no winners here.

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Wow. I didn't know you could get that kind of distance out of mini marshmallows.

You know what they always say about edible splatter paint!:

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Nothing, actually. They're all too busy trying to avoid the pieces with the poo-colored jelly beans.

Here's one that made use of the drop method:

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Most of it even landed on the cake!

Of course, when you're lobbing across such great distances, some breakage is to be expected:

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Boops.

You can see that a lot of throwing went into this one:

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(Psst. Throwing up counts, right?)

Hang on a sec, something's wrong.

This one's making me hungry:

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Mmmm.

Curse you, Wreckerators, and your nefarious mind-washing piles of

whipped cream and berry goodness!

I mean, what next? Will a professional chef on a national reality show get in on the act??

elizabeth%2Bl.lw.top%2Bchef%2Bmasters%2Bcharlie%2Bbrown%2Bchristmas%2Btree.jpg

[holding head] We're too late! AAHHHH!!

Thanks to Jill N., Ashlee M., Cassie G., Julie V., Kimberly B., & Elizabeth L., who all get to be first in line come book-tour-throwing time.

*****

P.S., Speaking of books, I just found one right up our wrecky alley:

A Wizard's Guide To Defensive Baking

I don't even need a synopsis. I'm sold.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: