Paper Reams

There are very, VERY few non-wrecky uses for edible photo paper, my friends. So if you're going to make your guests gum their way through all that ink and extra fiber, at least make sure it looks cool. 

You know, (not) like this:

I can just imagine the baker showing these off in his/her portfolio:

  "As you can see, I pioneered the 'wet blanket' decorating technique. I also specialize in printer jams and making your poop sparkle."

 Or this:

Granted, this doesn't look as much like edible paper as it does a thin plastic table cloth. Maybe it comes with a pair of scissors for serving? (Only let's hope the scissors come on the outside this time.)

And I love how they wrapped the (presumably) iced cake in "paper," then added more icing, and then topped it with (more?) plastic. It's like a Dagwood sandwich of choking hazards.

My favorite, though, is what Angela N. got when she ordered Avengers themed cupcakes from a national chain store bakery which I am *this* close to outing, because omigosh are you kidding me:

AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!

*splat*

Thank you.

Thanks to Andrew C., Jaymie P., and Angela N. for actually making me look forward to the day when print is dead.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

"Smack That Shiz" Is My New Favorite Saying

Stacey had a flowery paper plate she wanted her cake to match, so she brought it in to her bakery and asked them to use it as a reference for the decorations.

Unfortunately, what her baker heard wasn't so much "use this as a color/flower reference" as it was "Take this plate, cram it in the photocopier, print it on edible paper, and smack that shiz on some cake. But be sure to place it at a super weird angle, so it looks wrong no matter which way it's facing.
Yes, really. This is exactly what I want you to do."

Do I even need a drum roll anymore? Tell you what, instead, just imagine more of an "angry chickens thwacking you in the face" kind of sound. Seems more apropos.

Anyhoo... BEHOLD:

[sniff] It's.. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

Thanks to Stacey W., who promises to glare at any and everyone who chimes in to say at least the border icing matches. YOUR MOVE, COMMENTERS.

*****

Because some days call for more than coffee:

"Probably Whiskey" Enamel "Coffee" Mug

(The listing really does have "coffee" in quotation marks, ha!)

******

And from my other blog, Epbot: