Photo Paper

10 Reasons Edible Images Are The Absolute WORST (Plus One That's Pure Gold)

You'd think printing out your decorations would make them LESS wrecky, but... NOPE.

10 Reasons Edible Images Are The Absolute WORST:

 

1) Because even though bakers COULD use spell-check...

...they don't.

And also that pesky spacing thing.

 

2) Because now it looks like the cake is wrapped in fabric:

 

3) Or shiny plastic:

(I've seen Slip n' Slides that looked thinner than that stuff. Think you need scissors to cut it?)

 

4) Because the printer always runs out of ink and turns everyone green:

But thank goodness bakeries don't let that stop them.

 

5) Because of the badly Photoshopped photo collages:

 

6) And free clip art:

 

7) Because it gets all shiny and slimy:

*hurk*

 

8) Because square paper, round cookies cakes:

Ahhh, SEAMLESS.

 

9) Because creepy ultrasounds:

"NO I DON'T WANT THE FACE PIECE, JOAN."

 

And finally, the best/worst reason edible images are the worst?

10) Because bakers keep doing this:

 

Not cool, bakers. Not cool.

 

Thanks to Alexis M., Alexia K., Jennalee Z., Graham C., Melissa H., Darren G., Amber, Nicky W., Mercedes M., & Desiree H. for getting the picture.

****
BONUS SWEET:

And now, because every rule needs an exception, allow me to present the best Edible Image Cake...
OF ALL TIME:

Thank you, Julia H.
And, YOU'RE WELCOME, WORLD.

*****

P.S. As a palate cleanser, check out this rainbow wreath I made for John's room:

I used this 84-pc butterfly set, which I know you crafters are gonna love:

(3D Butterfly Wall Magnet Set)

They're double-sided and come with both magnets and stickers. Definitely browse the projects in the reviews, there are so many cool ideas - and the set is on sale right now for $9.99!

What Can I Say, Except, "You're Welcome"?

I’ll be honest, minions: after all these years, I may still be slightly obsessed with Moana? The constant singing, the aggressive YOU'RE WELCOME-ing, the unrequited mooning over a cross-eyed rooster.

Yeah.

SLIGHTLY.

So check this out:

Brandy ordered this Moana cake for her 9-year old, and I think we can all agree it was a wise move. Not only because MOANA, but because it's a printed edible image. That means no guesswork! No drawing! No instructions to fowl up! (HEY HEY ROOSTER SHOUT-OUT)

And yet, as it turns out,

Every turn we take
Every trail we track
Every ordered cake
Every road leads back
to a place we know:

Specifically, the place where a baker insists this is exactly what you ordered and you should totally pay for it.

My thoughts exactly.

 

Thanks to Brandy L. for providing all the wreckage that's fit to print.

*****

P.S. See the line where the sky meets the sea? IT'S THIS CUTE WHALE DISH:

Whale Ceramic Butter Dish

D'awww. It calls me.
::singing:: And no one knooo-ows, how far it bloooo-ows.

Eh?

******

And from my other blog, Epbot: