8 Cakes For Completely Inappropriate Occasions

I'm a firm believer in celebrating just about everything with cake, and from the submissions you guys send in I'm clearly not the only one.  However, there's celebrating, say, a new vasectomy or Daddy's parole, and then there's the stuff that some people might consider, well, inappropriate cake material.

 Not me, of course. No sir! Heck, I say, you wanna get pregnant? Then SAY IT WITH CAKE:

Or you're happy you DIDN'T get pregnant? Say THAT with cake.

Let's say your friend Cory suffered a nasty seizure recently. That warrants a cookie cake, right?

(Remember, kids: It's "i before e except after c." Except in the word "seizure.")

And remember that time your friend lost a finger to the lawn mower? Just in case he doesn't, let's remind him! With cake!

I like how this is less a "get well" cake, and more an "IN YOUR FACE! With love from the Lawn Mower" cake.

Driving while intoxicated is a serious crime, so be sure to tell your friends you won't stand for such behavior. Also with cake.

I like to imagine the candles are mini breathalyzers. 

(How cool would that invention be? Right? I'll make millions. MILLIONS, I say!)

The world is too success-oriented. We should be sending a better message to younger generations. A message that says, "Hey, no matter what, at least you'll get a cake out of this."

Dangit. Why don't I know any lady farmers to give this to? WHY?!

(PS - You misspelled "Awesome." But I'll let it slide, because melons.)

And finally, my favorite:

Hang on... we get cake for that? 

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!

Thanks to Anony M., Katelyn, KG, Paul S., Paige S., April B., & Stephanie K. for the inspiration.

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P.S. That reminds me of my Wonder Womb DIY, but if you're not feeling crafty you can buy this!

"Ivy the Plush Uterus"

I'm told "Ivy" is a play on "In Vitro," but I still say Baron Stabby McCrampus of Bloodhaven is a more appropriate moniker.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Move Over, Hallmark

Tired of the same ol' "Happy Birthday"s, "Congraderaultions", and "I Want Sprinkles?" Then consider these inspiring sentiments the next time you order a cake.

Perfect for the neighbor kid's party!

Assuming you're moving soon, of course.

Here's a solid, any-occasion choice:

Although it's especially effective when dropped off anonymously in the office break room.

For when the get-well and sympathy cards just seem too namby-pamby.

Because you can never be too specific.

I think I speak for Amy & Claudia when I say: that had better be chocolate.

There's this new "budget-friendly" home insurance plan around: It doesn't actually cover any losses, but you do get this nice cookie cake:

If only all bad news were delivered via cake. Can you imagine?

"He's breaking up with me?? Why that lousy, rotten, om nom nom ooh, hey! Raspberry filling!"

Thanks to Anony M., Kris K., Lauren M., Gal N., Amy D., & Melissa K., who might go back to cards after this.

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P.S. Prepare for a triple dose of "Awww," because LOOK HOW CUTE:

Rex the Green Dragon

This teeny pocket-sized dragon comes in a bunch of different styles: wearing aviator goggles, nursing a singed wing, even skateboarding, heh. It's hard to pick a favorite; they're all so stinking adorable!

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And from my other blog, Epbot: