Dump Week

It's National Dump Your Significant Jerk Week, or as I like to call it, Dump Week. That's right, folks, it's time to get out now before you have to spend another Valentines' Day shelling out the dough for over-priced chocolates and stuffed animals!

And really, what better way is there to end a romantic entanglement than with CAKE?

Now your ex can drown his sorrows in beer and buttercream. Unless he's out of beer. Or hates cake. In which case, this cake is PERFECT.

For some reason I get this one a lot. You know, from you readers. It's usually followed by a "I promise I'm not a stalker," and a request for my home address. (No joke.)

If you prefer a more subtle route, there's also this option:

 "Allow me to point out that the arrow pointing to the representation of the amount of my love is actually larger than the representation of the amount of my actual love. 

"If you're not getting this, I've also prepared a pie chart. On a pie."

Then there are all the old standbys:

The Outraged:

 The Relieved:

The Psychopath:

But for my money, I'll always prefer good old fashioned crazy:

If I find a jam filling, I am OUTTA HERE.

Thanks to Sarah H., Kjaere, Lesley M., Birdy, Olivia C., and Erin W., who will always hold a special place in my heart, and we'll always be friends, but I'm at a really complicated place right now and just need some time to think about who I am, you know?

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Do You Hear What I Hear?

We all mishear things from time to time. Heck, I still think Elton John just wanted a hug from Tony Danza. However, there are certain levels to auditory misunderstanding, which thanks to today's bakers I can now illustrate and then make snarky comments about. WOOHOO!

Level 1: The Simple Mistake

This is the one anyone can make, since at first blush the bungled interpretation almost makes sense:

Poor Chad. He went from rad to sunburned.

Level Two: The "HUH?"

This is a more convoluted level, and one that requires an explanation to understand. For example, this cake was supposed to read, "Happy 24th Birthday, Ashleigh. YOU ARE OLD!"

"Yes, I'm afraid you DO need to spell it out for me."

(This reminds me of the time in grade school when I had to interview my grandmother about her travels. She kept referring to Mexico as "Old Mexico" [presumably because she lived in New Mexico], but it sounded like she was saying "Oh Mexico." So that's what I wrote - about a billion times in that report. My family all found it quite funny. I did not.)

Level Three: The One You're Never Going To Believe

This is the level of misunderstanding that takes you so far down the wrong road that there's simply no turning back. So, little Seth, you just enjoy your "blue camo" baby shower cake, mkay?

"Watch out, they spit!"

Thanks to Lelia R., Joann R., & Yvonne D. for the "just deserts."

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: