This Just In

While I agree that cake makes even bad news at least a little sweeter, there's still a right and a wrong way to break some news.

This is why fortune tellers should never become bakers.

[on the phone] "No, of course we're not celebrating that you didn't get parole, Trish; there's a frowny face on your cake and everything!"

Why, yes, that IS a used pregnancy test on the cake.

"People, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. The good news: This is our last all-day staff meeting! Yeah!

"The bad news: We're going out of business because we can't afford the mortgage any longer.

"But wait! There's more good news: we have a cake."

"Oh, and more bad news: they spelled 'mortgage' wrong. Still, if one of you can get this baker fired and then take his or her job, then that's actually good news, right? Right? Guys? Where are you going? Hey, at least leave me a slice of cake! C'mon!"

Alicia A., Natalie H., Anony M., & Morganna B. were recognized as "Wreckporters of the Day" this morning in a brief online ceremony. Sadly, they received no cake.

*****

Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? USA, UK, Canada.

 Visiting Amazon through those links will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

Sobering Celebrations

Choosing the right cake design to go with your message is key. After all, you wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea, now, would you?

Aw, now there's a warm welcome.

(And if you think an overly enthusiastic volunteer fire brigade might spell disaster, you're wrong. It spells "neiborhood.")

Baptism, baseball...they both involve dunking, right?

[UPDATE: I have just been informed that baseball does not, in fact, have dunking. Apparently that's hockey. My bad.]

Ah, Niko. That boy is creeping up on death like a herd of geriatric turtles. Why, it seems like only yesterday you were playing with Thomas the Tank Engine, huh, Niko? Maybe because it WAS only yesterday, but still.

(No, the 5 is not a typo; this really was for a fifth birthday party.)

Whoops, Karen T., Karen G., & Tammy C., apparently geriatric turtles come in flocks.