"Uncle!"

In the spirit of Angry Santa, I give you...

TERRIFIED UNCLE SAM.

"Whoah there, sonny, why don't you put down the knife and let's talk about this?"

Uncle Sam wants YOU...
... to fetch him his binky.
And check under the bed before you leave.
(And buy a Pan-Wow®)

Actually, now he's just looking sad. Geez, Sam, if I want to see a disappointed face at mealtimes I can just go back to cooking, mmkay?

Hang on, lemme see what else I've got here...

Oh, now, don't cry... I'm sorry...

Aaand we're back to terrified. Huh. 
Maybe they set it in front of a mirror?

I actually kind of like this guy:

His face says, "Guys, seriously, stop it with the shaving cream already," but his hair is all, "PAR-TAY!!" And then his sideburns are like, "Lookit me, holding up this teensy flag! AMERICA. HECK YEAH." And I'm pretty sure his lips are offering me a fruit roll-up.

So, in conclusion, here's a gingerbread soldier with his head on fire being run over by a tank:

But look how HAPPY he is!

Uncle Sam? Take note.

Tanks to Meghan R., Dimitra S., Gillian H., Amber W., & Lyndi R. for the support.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

VADER FACES THE HAMMERED NUTS

Kelly asked her baker to put just this T-shirt design on her cake:

I'd like to point out the shirt even says "NAILED IT!"

Talk about the perfect setup.

Alright, Kelly. HAMMER TIME:

Yep. Nailed It.

 *****

 Then there's Shelly, who ordered this Star Wars cake out of her bakery's design book:

Please note all the dotted stars.

... because that's literally the only thing that matches what she got:

I know, I know: you want to believe they just gave Shelly the toys separately to put on herself, but I'm sorry, minions: we have to Vader Face facts. 

*****

It's not often that I feature a wreck that could actually kill someone (the famous exception being the 'One Bon Bon Is Poison' cake), but Cathy found one to represent!

See, Cathy has a deadly nut allergy, and so of course made sure her bakery was aware of this. When the time came to pick up her birthday cake, the bakery again assured her there were absolutely no nuts in her cake, so hey, that's a relief.

Now, about the OUTSIDE of her cake...

Thanks to Kelly B., Shelly H., & Cathy W. for something truly off the walnuts.

*****

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 Visiting Amazon through those links will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

And from my other blog, Epbot: