My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


[adjusting headset mic]
[gelling hair]

Hi, it's john with Pan-Wow. This pan is shaped like a heart but it's also a pan so you can make cakes that are shaped like a heart.

A regular pan can only make cakes that look like a circle or a square, but the Pan-Wow can make a cake that looks like anything. Look at this apple.

You can't get an apple cake out of a round pan. Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's an apple.


Use it at home, in the bakery, in the car or the boat. Going to a Halloween party?



Oh, no. Is that a ghost?

No. It's a Pan-Wow.


Going tailgating at the football game?



When you're done, just throw it in the dishwasher. It's metal. It's shaped like a heart. Look at these balloons:

There's three different colors.  You could use four colors.  Or five.  It doesn't matter.  Pan-Wow.


Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Use it for Christmas:

Why not? It's a Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's Santa Claus.


What's that? You're graduating?

Now it's a hat. Amazing.


Got a steak? Put it in the Pan-Wow.

It's a heart and it's a steak. It's like a heart steak. But it could also be an apple/scary Halloween/ football/balloon steak. So many uses.


Is that the Easter Bunny?


And if you comment within the next five minutes, we'll give you a Pan-Wow absolutely free.* You can't beat that. Order now.


Thanks to Lisa S., Erin M., Shelley B., Melissa G., Marie H., Cristina Z., Jyap, Sarah S., and Anna C. who don't mind the three easy payments of $29.95.


*Plus shipping and handling. Other charges may apply. Pan-Wow may not be made in Germany. Pan-Wow may not be metal. Pan-Wow may not be shaped like a heart. Pan-Wow may not enjoy being taunted.

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Reader Comments (122)

This may be my new favorite entry!

I "heart" Cakewrecks!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercc

Love the SNL happy fun ball reference!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my God, Pan Wow is amazing. I've been baking for 32 years, and my cakes were always round and boring, or rectangular and dull. But with Pan Wow my cakes really get everyone's attention and my skin is 80% clearer!!! I stopped making boring cakes AND I stopped having a boring life. You should see my "Hearty" Nut Cake. Try it. You're gonna love my nuts!! So listen to John, try Pan Wow. You'll be saying WOW everytime you use it.
SuBee (a real Pan Wow user)


April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Offer void where prohibited.

...and, most of these should have been prohibited!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

I forgot-I had a Happy Fun Ball and it *loved* being taunted. So there.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wow! Or should I say "Pan-Wow"? I'll bet it holds 20 times its weight in batter! And it's a perfect mirror for people with heart-shaped faces!

The thing sells itself!

Thanks, John (thoJ), for creeping me out 2 days in a row. I thought Princess was the scariest thing I'd ever seen, until you reminded me of the Sham-Wow guy. I'll send you 4 -- that's 4! -- payments of $29.95 if you promise not to bring him up again.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I couldn't help but read this post in my late night infomercial pitch man's voice!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertuna

OMG! How have I been in the cake biz for 6 years without a Pan Wow?!? Must... Have...! ;-)
Please don't send me a PanWow

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

This post is lots of fun, but my favorite part was the "Happy Fun Ball" reference in the disclaimer!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobin @ Bird On A Cake

I don't know about the rest of you, but that ghost cookie cake is C-U-T-E.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

I think the halloween/frankenstein ones are adorable.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoAnna

MEAT. IN. HEART-SHAPED. PAN. NEXT TO PIE. I'm losing faith in the human race.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCristi

Brilliant! But you forgot a line: "If you comment within the next 5 minutes (because we can't be doing this all day)".....

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon's Edible Art

It's a heart and a post on my wedding anniversary. PanWOW!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy

Hey, you missed the butt cheeks usage for Pan Wow. :-)

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterConnieB in OH

Great post! However I must point out that the last cake is actually not that bad... if viewed from the right angle. I am reading this on my tablet, which gives me an easy way to flip the pictures around... nifty, huh? Happy Easter to you and your families!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermistiqueallie

The football helmet actually looks like a credible attempt by some poor employee after their boss says "Here, make some football cakes. What do you mean, the only pan left is a heart? So?"

Also, ShatWOW! (as seen on Dragon*Con TV!)

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I can just hear Vince talking about this now! Well done! But please don't go down the path Vince went down.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

We've got bunnies!
We've got balloons!
Oh...and you're gonna love my butts!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

I have to say, I think that ghost cookie cake is pretty cute. Is that bad?

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAdrienne

In some moment, this looked more like that old spice ad: "Look at me, now look at Pan-Wow, now it's an apple, back at me, back at pan wow, now it's a ghost".

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFrank

I'm with ConnieB--I was waiting for a butt cheek cake, which only goes to show how low my standards have gotten as a long-time reader of CW.
Those are balloons? That's a bunny? Pan-WOW!

p.s. @Sharyn: "I demand the top bunk." I am STILL laughing about that.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Oh, SO not fair! Taunting me with Pan Wow for cakes, cookies AND steaks? Could I use it for my salad too? Then I could have my whole meal in the Pan Wow!
The mind boggles at all the possibilities!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMindy

Ok so am I the ONLY person who looked at the graduation hat one and the butt-cheek shaped bottom and thought something inappropriate along the lines of "donkey-hat" (but not donkey . . . . . )

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Hey, I thought the apple cakes were pretty clever!! lol

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDinobabe

Do not taunt happy Pan-Wow.

The ghost one really is pretty cute :)

I too was waiting for a butt reference. Butt-Wow?

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMissy


April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

If you promise not to send me a Pan WOW(tm), I'll send you my Shticky.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I like the Halloween ones - cute! The balloons are very sad, though - they don't even look like sperm! and to the person who said the last one isn't bad the other way around? Yes it is (bad).

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentervj

Pan-Wow, boobs and butts
Is all I see in all these
horrifying cakes

Thanks for the laugh John and don't give up your day job to become an announcer! :)

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

I dunno, somehow it loses some oomph by not being in allcaps with gratuitous exclamation marks - NEED A CAKE THAT LOOKS LIKE TWO TEARDROPS HUGGING? PAN-WOW!!! THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S MORE THAN A HEART, IT'S AN ENTIRE CAKE-DECORATING REPERTOIRE IN ONE PAN!! ORDER NOW!!1!1elebenty1!!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGR

Birth of spring season.
Birth of our Pan-Wow fortune.
Birth of a bunny.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I have the annoying announcers voice in my head nowwwwwwwww....

You ROCKED this one!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Katherine, I thought the same thing, the ghost cake was kind of clever.

Help me, I'm heading toward the dark side...

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

Shouldn't there be more capitals and exclamation points?

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPhillip

The balloons look like they're fleeing from the baker that put them on the cookie.

And I really wonder what kind of store the heart steak is in. Raw steak, lobster tails, hot dogs, and cherry pie all in the same display? Maybe they just try to sort things by color?

Thanks for another hilarious post!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy F

I feel like such a fool...I have an apple pan, a ghost pan, a football helmet pan, a Santa pan, a hat pan, a heartsteak pan and a bunny pan! And, I was just about to go out today and buy a special pan -- if I could find one -- to hold my next cake: a mass of multi-colored balloon-sperm swimming in all directions. But now, thanks to you john (thoj), I can just order the Pan-Wow and not only get that special pan I so desperately need, I can throw away all those other pans! And wait, there's more!! YES, I'm ordering now, so please send the second Pan-Wow absolutely free! (fine print: I understand that shipping and handling are not included, I must pay separate shipping for the free pan, it will take 4-6 weeks for delivery, void where prohibited, licensed drivers only, may not be exactly as pictured, contents not included, serving suggestion only, some restrictions apply, not available in all areas, may have been manufactured in a plant where nuts are processed, colors may vary, limited lifetime warantee, do not feed the animals.....)
Thank you, thank you, john (thoj) and Pan-Wow!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Are we sure those balloons haven't been through the dishwasher? Wow.

And Connie B, did you miss the graduation cake? Looked like buns to me.

*still laughing*

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

You should really turn this into a YouTube video!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

With ConnieB and others, I was waiting for the butt cheeks and bosom cakes! Could it be our "Pan-Wow" guy has SOME standards even he won't sink below? Fun read, as always, Jen and John!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLora

Too funny! Great post. I about died when I saw the steak panwow. Funny, yet wrong. Did they just run out of regular containers, or did they actually think that it was a good idea? Wow. No pan, just wow.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Gawrsh (to quote Goofy). And here I've just been using my heart-shaped pan (WOW) for baking heart-shaped cakes! How could I have been so short-sighted? How could I have missed all the wonderful use-purtunities of this incredibly versatile year-round pan????? Thank you John (THoJ) for opening my eyes to the glories of Pan-WOW!

I'm calling right now - I'm sure operators are standing by - to order MORE pans! PanWOW! NOW!

That graduate is one smart-a&$ now!!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterValentina

I'll probably be shot for saying this, but I thought the Frankenstein with the bulging forehead was actually kind of clever. Or it would be if they cut off the tip to give it a flatter chin.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Butt wait.... You may think I'm NUTS- about PanWow- but you don't know the balls it takes to sell this thing with as much energy as I have!!! For Maximus use of this PanWow- use this cake pan to store your crack whenever you are not baking.....

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercracked out reader

I want to know more behind the whole set-up with the heart-shaped steaks. I see two different steak packaging options - one of which includes Christmas bows - lobster tails, hot dogs and desserts. I think what most confuses me is the presence of the hot dogs.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMay

Hey! Add a vertical line to an upside-down Pan Wow and you have one of those butt crack garden decorations!! So, when no one buys the PanWows you can duct tape them to a stake and use them in the garden!

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

The sad part is, they spelled "Congratulations Graduate" correctly.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Admit it -- that's probably the best football helmet cake we've seen on this site. Ever.

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

But wait!!! If you act right now to get your own Pan Wow, we will throw in your very own Custom Cupcake Cake Sneeze Stopper! Are you tired of your Cupcake Cake creations being spit upon by Cake Wrecks connoisseurs? Fear no more! Protect yourself from the passing patooie today and get the Cupcake Cake Sneeze Stopper! With a deal like this, you can't afford not to call! Operators are standing by- let's get on the phone!!

Cupcake Cake Sneeze Stopper may or may not be a Pan Wow upside down...

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

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