Well, Rats

It's Rodent Awareness Week, minions, so gather 'round while I'll spin you a tail of wreckage.

Now, you might think it'd be hard to find rodent cakes, but no.

THEY'RE OUT THERE.

(See? I'm raising awareness!)

Though some bakers are a little fuzzy on the concept:

If you turn your head to the side this kind of looks like a black-and-white turkey cake pooping out a candy corn.

Then again, it's 3AM here and I'm wide awake, so maybe that's the insomnia talking.

Or maybe I'm dreaming? Is this a dream?

The rat cake worshipping a chunk of cheese points to "yes."

Hang on, now the cheese is a Christmas tree... decorated with tadpoles?

And this guy just offered me a cigar:

Ok, we're definitely in Bad-Pizza-Dream territory, minions. I better get out of here before I show up to my 8th grade Biology quiz naked.

ACK!

TOO LATE:

Thank goodness this class has aprons. And forks.

Oh man, I just grossed MYSELF out.

 Well, my friends who may or may not be actually reading this, I hope you've found this educational.

 Because if not, I could give a rat's ass.

A really ADORABLE rat's ass.

(The baker sent it in herself, because she's awesome like that.)

Thanks to Courtney M., Amanda G., April F., Rachel L., Monica I., Alison M., & Holly S. of Two Cousins Bakery for putting every baby butt cake out there to shame. TO SHAME I SAY.

And if you want to keep the Rodent Awareness celebration going, how about a good Terry Pratchett read?

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

"It's Pronounced Shi-THEAD"

Bakers! Halloween is next week!

GO! GO! GO!

Now keep going!

Yeah! That's good shi... er... stuff!

Push 'em out, shove 'em out, waaaaaay out!

Phew! That was a hard one.

But don't stop now; really let those creative juices flow!

That's it!

I love the smell of pumpkin stem in the morning!

This is all SO APPETIZING!

Ok, bakers, FINAL PUSH. Really put your back into it!
Let it allll out!!

YES THIS IS PERFECT

Welp, I guess that's one more Halloween in the can.

Good work, team.

Thanks to Kirsten F., Molly M., Lily Q., Loren B., Beth N., Clare L., Claire W., Jeremy B., & Jordan S. for the heady flush of victory.

And now, a moving moment for my fellow Potter heads:

"Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
but don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
a smarter hat than me."
- actual quote from book 1

I bet he places everyone in Hufflepoop.

*****

Pee Ess: If you want to be more intentional with your poop cakes - though bizarrely less accurate? - then I found the perfect $3 silicone pan for you:

Wilton Poop Emoji Pan 

I find it hilarious that the actual poop emoji pan looks less like poop than all of these bakers' attempts to NOT make poop. Also I've never written "poop" this often in a post before. Poopity poop poop. Yep, definitely breaking a record here.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: