Unicorn Horns: Do They Really Need A Point?

Karen's "unicorn" debacle last week inspired me, minions. See, I love unicorn cakes. I love unicorn wrecks. So why not bring the two together?

Beauty:

(By Life Is What You Cake It)

Aaaand the Beast:

My favorite part is that horn situation. Is this an X-ray?

The nose knows a good unicorn cookie cake:

(Cookies By Design Arlington)

OH NOES.

Ahhh, but you know I saved the best for last.

First, the gold standard:

(Rosanna Pansino)

Then, the gold plastic:

They used the eyelashes as eyebrows. Bahahaa!

BUT WAIT

There's more!

First this one again:

(Rosanna Pansino)

And then...

HERP DERP ABURP

Thanks to A.R., Chloe V., Chrissy C., & Pinar M. for doing the impossible: making us wish there was MORE plastic on our cakes.

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And now the perfect game to go with these cakes:

Unstable Unicorns: A Strategic Card Game For Adults & Teens

The description reads: "Build a unicorn army. Betray your friends. Unicorns are your friends now."

Well, I'm sold.

(There's also a NSFW version and I'm mildly terrified. Ha! Have any of you played this?)

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Bananas Are Totally Helping: Women Weirdly Wearing Cake

Since I started this blog I've seen my share of cakes crammed onto real live ladies. Here's a croquembouche dress:

(Ballsy.)

Here's a cupcake skirt:

(I'd eat that.)

And here's an edible wedding dress guaranteed to make you never want an edible wedding dress:

[slowly backing away in horror]

But all of that pales in comparison to whatever the heck is happening in this photo:

0.o

Now, I know there's a lot of crazy to take in up there, but keep your eyes on the bananas.

See them?

Good.

Now you can scroll down:

Ta-daaaa!

Ok, so, a few things:

1) There are now bananas artfully draped on the womens' shoulders. I bet you never thought someone could artfully drape a banana. Or that someone would consider a conjoined torso cake with real live ladies sticking out of either end an appetizing idea. BUT THERE THEY BOTH ARE.

2) The candles. Why? Is this a birthday party?

3) WAIT. Is it Beetlejuice's birthday? THAT WOULD EXPLAIN... well, at least the stripey parts.

4) Now I want shrimp cocktail.

5) You Beetlejuice fans got that one. You're welcome.

Thanks to Amy, Evelyn D., Jessica S., & Jemma S. for sending in those pics with absolutely no explanation. I mean, it's just more fun to imagine all the many, MANY reasons why this is a thing that happened.

[thinking]

I'll, uh, come up with one eventually, I'm sure.

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BREAKING NEWS: Did you know you can buy your cat a banana bed? IT'S TRUE.

Cat Banana Bed

Forget the official product photos, though: the customer reviews are where it is AT, peeps.

Scrolling through these was the best two minutes of my day, ermergersh. (Don't judge.)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: