That's My Wreck, NACHOS

If you frequent Pinterest you've probably seen these Sweet campfire cakes going around:

These are relatively simple, fun designs made with chocolate icing, Pirouette cookies, and hard sugar "flames." Some folks also add toasted marshmallows:

(By Shower of Roses)

So pretty!

Now, you're supposed to melt down butterscotch and cinnamon candies to make those flames, but one bakery decided ain't nobody got time for that, and swapped them out for the PERFECT SUBSTITUTE:

Nacho Cheese Doritos.

Doritos?

Yes, DORITOS.

"Aw, but Jem," you're thinking, because you've once again confused me for an outrageous cartoon rock star - and I'll be honest, I ain't mad - "But Jem, look how cheap it is! A little stale cheese dust in our chocolate icing isn't so bad for less than 13 smackeroos, right?"

OH CON-TRARE, my hopefully French-illiterate friend.*

[*By which I mean illiterate in French, not from France and illiterate. Though if you are illiterate and from France you can't read this anyway, so just BE COOL, friends-of-illiterate-French-people, and don't go telling them Jem's talking smack, 'cuz JEM DON'T PLAY THAT.]

Look a little closer at that label:

"Plus cost of candy & chips."

PLUS!?

Yeeeeah, Jem don't play that either, bakers.

Thanks to Mackensie C. for the sick burn.

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Here's another CUTE version, though fair warning: you can't eat it:

Fisher-Price S'more Fun Campfire Set

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

A Total Bust

(Warning: Vague naughtiness ahead. Also googly eyes.)

Last week Sue Moseley had her Instagram account disabled for posting this cake:

Why?
Well, according to Instagram:

"We disable accounts that post content that is sexually suggestive or contains nudity."

Translation? They thought her cake was boobs.

Now, I could maybe understand if Sue's cake looked like this:

Or this:

Or even this:

And I'd definitely understand if her cake looked like this:

Which, as you can see from John's oh-so-helpful censoring job*, totally looks like a bug-eyed Oompa Loompa at the beach.

(Why yes, I DID only include this one to share that visual. YOU'RE WELCOME.)

Of course we here at Cake Wrecks are no strangers to being banned from social networks for posting "suggestive" cakes, so allow me to offer the following advice:

Anything vaguely nipplish or boobish will get you banned because AMERICA, and we don't need that kind of obscene obscenity on our interwebz, so just steer clear.

....unless of course it's man boobs.

Those are cool.

SO BRING ON THE MAN BEWBS!

Or, you know, don't.

Seriously, you can stop now.

AAAAAAND WE'RE DONE.

Thanks to Jenn A., Ambular B., Sarah M., Krista M., Jessica L., Ashley B., Lisa C., & Jen S., who is not happy to see us, and after that, who could blame her?

*Note from john: I'm just glad I was able to save you all from seeing obscene obscenity. You're welcome.

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More proof that everyone loves Boo Bees:

Boo Bees Cup

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And from my other blog, Epbot: