I'm Willing To Call It A Metaphor If You Are

It's National Fall Foliage Week, bakers, what've you got?

Hmm. 

Maybe lose the snakes.

And the volcanic ash.

And the... is that a pool float?

Waaaaait a minute, I get it! It's a metaphor! For 2020! Right?

So really, this isn't a monstrous alien tri-brain stuck on a cocoon:

In fact, it's a commentary on the societal division spawned by the ever-increasing branches of psuedo-scientific expressionalism!

Ahh, it all makes sense now. See, I feel much better.

[long silence]

[awkward side eye]

...Uh, but this pumpkin stem is still a giant pile of dog crap, right?

Phew! Good. Just making sure not everything has changed.

Thanks to Melissa S., Katie C., Vivian G., Melissa F., & a different Melissa F. for making like a tree, and pooping all over the pumpkin. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
*****

Unlike this year, this little vinyl toy is the most adorable dumpster fire EVER:

Dumpster Fire Vinyl Figure

I just needed more people to know this exists. :D

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

If You Say There's No Such Thing As "Too Much Icing," Then This Post Is For You

It was Talk Like A Pirate Day this week, but I think this bakery could have used less talking and more map-drawing:

When in doubt, add more arrows.

Julie asked for "boyish colors and decorations."

So you saw it here first, folks: Clown poop is officially "boyish."
And a "decoration."

Every time I complain about an insane icing-to-cake ratio, the pro-icing peeps come out of the woodwork, exclaiming that no amount of icing is TOO much icing.

Aiiight, you pro-icing-ers, consider this the gauntlet being thrown:

Is THIS enough icing for ya?

Kasey asked for a cake that said "Happy Birthday," and then in parentheses, "Mulan was here."

You'd think the parentheses curve-ball would trip them up, but no, that was the one thing they really nailed:

There's just nothing in it.

They say it's officially Fall.
I don't believe it.
They say Pumpkin Spice makes everything better.
I don't believe it.
They say this is a pumpkin:

[head tilt]

Eh, seems about right.

Thanks to S.E., Julie A., Kristina J., Kasey R., & Sarah C. for agreeing with me that Pumpkin Spice Oreos is the line, and that line HAS BEEN CROSSED TOO FAR.

*****

P.S. I can't think of a better gift for Fall 2020 than this, y'all:

Pumpkin Spice Scented Toilet Paper

Admit it, you thought of at least one person in your life who needs this.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: