Cake Mix-a-lot

In honor of  the Dog Days of Summer:

I like cake MUTTS and I cannot lie!

No other pastry beats this guy!

When a cake comes out like a pile of doggie waste

Or has Sliding-Frosting-Face

It gets SUNG!

 

Wanna say "enough"

'Cuz you know that spelling's "Ruff!"

Doggie got wrecked.

I'd feel like a heel if I didn't unleash a pack of thanks on Heather W., Nicole O., Erin R.., Catherine S., Sara S., Lysa R., & Thomas R. for taking pictures rather than going barking mad.

*****

Confession: the only reason I know what "White Claws" are is my one hip friend left a Mango one in my fridge 6 weeks ago, and it's still there. So yeah, if you want your pupper to look like she's about to don a big straw hat and hit the beach to make TikToks, then I have JUST the dog toys for you:

"White Paw" Squeaky Dog Toys

Spiked "Barkling" Water, amazing.

My favorite part is browsing all the customer photos, because turns out cute puppers holding plush cans of cider is ADORABLE, and you really should go scroll through the galleries:

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Infantile Humor

[Tinkling bell]

[very polite Englishman] "Yes, I'd like to order a baby shower cake, if I might. Something perhaps a bit creepy. Not fond of the mother, you see."

[very polite English salesman] "Yes, of course, of course... Might I suggest our Face of Birth cake?"

"Hm, yes, it is quite creepy, but I was thinking something a bit more, if that's not too much trouble?"

"Not at all, sir. Perhaps this will be more to your liking?"

"Oh, that is unsettling... but could we remove the body?"

"Say no more. I've just the thing:"

"Yes, yes, I can see how that might send a bit of a shiver. Could we maybe bury the baby IN the cake, though? Perhaps add a crustacean?"

"Ahh, the old 'crustacean on half a newborn!' That's my specialty, sir, and it's quite creepy - if I do say so myself."

"You know, I truly appreciate your effort, my good man, but I think we've missed the mark. I tell you what: just make something vaguely baby shaped and slap it on the ugliest cake you can find. Think we could do that?"

"Of course, sir, and may I compliment you on your excellent sense of humor? I shall have it post haste."

Thanks to Britani, Valentina V., Alexia O., Alison P., & Zahirah for the ruddy good time.

*****

P.S. If the parents were born in the 90s, bring this to the baby shower, too:

"O Is For Old School, A Hip Hop Alphabet For B.I.G. Kids Who Used To Be Dope"

Aw yeah, that's jammin' on the one, yo.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: