Celebrating the "Yes" with a bunch of "No"s

There are usually a lot of weddings in June, so I know you're getting sick of all those perfectly lovely wedding and engagement cakes by now, aren't you? [patting your hand] Well don't you worry, dear; that's what I'm here for.

First, fellas, take note: This is NOT how you do it.

"So I was picking up some salami, right? And I see this cupcake thing. Anyway, long story short, I figure, hey, it's cheaper than a real one, and I could go for some nosh right now anyway..."

 

Once the engagement is set, some couples like to celebrate by getting something big, shiny, and misspelled:

 

While others like adopting fun new aliases...

 

Some couples like to keep the guests guessing:

"So did they get their degree, or are they getting married?"
(Answer: getting married. Yes, really.)

 

Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:

Aaaeeeeiii!!

"Pay up, Bub, or your fiance loses her other hand."

 

Hey, Paula T., Anony, Veronica, Amanda G., & Anony 2, [pointing with two fingers] engage.

(I've always wanted to do that.)

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BONUS FUN FACT: Not only is that final cake one of my favorite wrecks of all time, it also had a hand in (get it??) two readers getting engaged back in 2015!

Now that's romance.

*****

P.S. Is your life boring? Does your soul yearn for adventure? Are you waiting for the universe to send you a sign?  

Then here:

The Yodeling Pickle


Also the universe says "hi."

(Listen, if you can't think of anything to do with an 8-inch plastic yodeling pickle, then I can't help you.)

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Inspiration vs Perspiration

First, the inspiration:

Which isn't bad, I guess, if you've got a Brave Heart kind of vibe going for your wedding. Certainly it's executed well.

 

Anyway, here is what the paid, "professional" baker provided:

Erm.

[glancing between the two photos]

It’s like seeing double, isn’t it?

I mean, sure, the second one is collapsed in on itself, slumped over to one side, and channeling a bit more Bob Marley than William Wallace, but besides all that I’d say the decorator was bang on, wouldn’t you? Ok, ok, if you wanted to get picky about it, I guess that crack in the bottom – the one you can see the cake through? – that probably should have been iced over. Oh, and the red stripe might look a little nicer if it were one continuous line – or for that matter, if the line were straight. (Perhaps a little too much Red Stripe was consumed before icing the red stripe, eh? Eh? Come on, that was freakin’ hilarious, people: Bob Marley? Jamaican beer? Booya!)

Come to think of it, maybe that mass of squiggles in the mid section isn’t the best example of plaid I’ve ever seen, either. [tilting head to one side] Huh. Yeah. Ok, Summer, you got me: I can sort of see why the bride sued.

*****

P.S. I agree, you COULD do a better job yourself. So have you seen these new silicone "piping bulbs?"

8 Pc Bulb Decorating Kit

Y'all. Go read the reviews; these things are apparently total game-changers. Easy to fill, clean, no more leaking piping bags, AND they fit all the Wilton metal tips we already have! I don't do much cake decorating these days, but I do pipe caulking for crafts, so I'm excited to try these out.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: