Wreck Busters!

Some of you have never checked your local bakery for paranormal activity, minions, and it shows.

"You're right; no HUMAN BEING would decorate cakes like this."

And just think, if you find any, you can blame your wrecks on ghosts! Which sounds WAY cooler than blaming "Pam from the deli," 'cuz lets be honest, that's not fooling anyone. WE ALL KNOW THERE'S NO PAM.

Twenty five years of being the virtual scapegoat. Bummer.

OK, first things first: get a bunch of friends together, turn off all the lights, and film each other screaming in the dark.

"Okay, who brought the dog?!"

 Then, when everyone's good and winded, head over to the bakery to start checking for ghosts.

Now, sometimes the signs are incredibly subtle, so be on the lookout for anything even slightly "off."

There are a few common symptoms of spectral shenanigans, though:

1) Bleeding Cakes

Well there's something you don't see every day.

2) DVPs, or "Distorted Voice Phenomena"

"I swear that's what they said on the phone!"

Ahh, it's the unexplained sponge migration all over again.
(You forget: I WAS THERE.)

MASS HYSTERIA.

3) Inexplicable Creepiness

Why?

Why??

DANGIT "PAM."

And hey, if any of you do see an actual ghost, I know exactly what to do:

GET HER!!!

And bring ice cream.

Thanks to Beth S., Lisa V., Carolyn, Jackie M., Marissa I., Victoria G., Cheryl C., Ana S., Brianne A., Rachel G., & Amy S. for picking up the phone and calling the prefessionals: WRECK BUSTERS.

****

P.S. Speaking of mass sponge migrations, you'll think you bought 10 sheets of cardboard, but wait'll you try the #1 best-selling dish cloths on Amazon:

Swedish Dishcloths

Incredibly absorbent, durable, AND on sale this week! Lots more colors at the link, too.

THE GREAT HUMAN MYSTERY... plus cake!

There is no greater human mystery than our ability to communicate.
To take a picture or concept and implant it perfectly into the mind of another - what wonder!

What marvel!

Nay, what miracle, even!

So the next time you're ordering a cake, minions, just think:

Hey, at least they spelled it right.

Except they didn't.

(But, c'mon, so close.)

That's not what you should think, though.

What you should think is how amazing it is that we can come together as a species through our words and language. That we have this means of showing others how we're feeling, what we're thinking!

And just think: without language...

...this wouldn't be nearly as funny.

Thanks to Kim C., Pia F., Taryn, Edie S., & Tony B. for striking out.

*****

P.S. Let's continue our celebration of human communication with exceptionally bad Dad Jokes:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

PLUS,  now there's a Volume 2!

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes, Vol II