Move Over, Hallmark

Tired of the same ol' "Happy Birthday"s, "Congraderaultions", and "I Want Sprinkles?" Then consider these inspiring sentiments the next time you order a cake.

Perfect for the neighbor kid's party!

Assuming you're moving soon, of course.

Here's a solid, any-occasion choice:

Although it's especially effective when dropped off anonymously in the office break room.

For when the get-well and sympathy cards just seem too namby-pamby.

Because you can never be too specific.

I think I speak for Amy & Claudia when I say: that had better be chocolate.

There's this new "budget-friendly" home insurance plan around: It doesn't actually cover any losses, but you do get this nice cookie cake:

If only all bad news were delivered via cake. Can you imagine?

"He's breaking up with me?? Why that lousy, rotten, om nom nom ooh, hey! Raspberry filling!"

Thanks to Anony M., Kris K., Lauren M., Gal N., Amy D., & Melissa K., who might go back to cards after this.

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P.S. Prepare for a triple dose of "Awww," because LOOK HOW CUTE:

Rex the Green Dragon

This teeny pocket-sized dragon comes in a bunch of different styles: wearing aviator goggles, nursing a singed wing, even skateboarding, heh. It's hard to pick a favorite; they're all so stinking adorable!

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Window Pain

Bakers, in case it's been a while, this is your friendly reminder to go ahead and spruce up those window display cakes. After all, without them the customers might have to rely solely on your signage to evaluate your baking skills:

And nobody wants that.

("I'll take a Sahara and two small Mojaves, please.")

Now, your display cakes say a lot about your bakery. Ideally, you want these things to be positive, like "Look! Our cakes don't show the dirt at ALL!"

Or, "Yes, we CAN cut out small pieces of paper!"

Or even just "Divorce!" written in German:

Your displays also showcase the things that are most important to your bakery.

Like spelling:

And the fact that you never make the same mistake more than twice:

And finally, remember: when it comes to drawing in potential customers, you can never go wrong with a really good wizard cake:

Guaranteed to work like magic.

Thanks to Elizabeth R., Mary I., Erin Z., Kate, Catherine C., & C.M., who think that last window might have a few kinks to work out.

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I usually like to tie in my product links to the final cake, so this is an EXCELLENT time to plug my friend Scott's side-job:

Off To Be The Wizard

Lucky for y'all, Scott's a writer.

This is the first book in a hugely entertaining series about a modern day guy who tweaks some software code and ends up in the middle ages posing as a wizard. It's HEE-LARIOUS. Go check it out if you need more fun stories in your life.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: