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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr132011

Window Pain

Bakers, in case it's been a while, this is your friendly reminder to go ahead and spruce up those window display cakes. After all, without them the customers might have to rely solely on your signage to evaluate your baking skills:

And nobody wants that.

("I'll take a Sahara and two small Mojaves, please.")

Now, your display cakes say a lot about your bakery. Ideally, you want these things to be positive, like "Look! Our cakes don't show the dirt at ALL!"


Or, "Yes, we CAN cut out small pieces of paper!"


Or even just "Divorce!" written in German:

Your displays also showcase the things that are most important to your bakery.

Like spelling:


And the fact that you never make the same mistake more than twice:


And finally, remember: when it comes to drawing in potential customers, you can never go wrong with a really good wizard cake:

Guaranteed to work like magic.

Thanks to Elizabeth R., Mary I., Erin Z., Kate, Catherine C., & C.M., who think that last window might have a few kinks to work out.

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Reader Comments (91)

Dominatrix cake?
Wow. um...

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

That last cake made me shriek, "The hell?" Wow. Just wow.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

bwwwwwaaaahhahhahahahhahahah thats supposed to be a wizard

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

B&D cakes!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wait! Does that dominatrix have a peg leg? WTH?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is that dominatrix standing on a prosthetic leg? Something tells me this may be an homage to a VERY close friend of the baker.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

they say i have adhd but they just don't under.. look a marmaid

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterninja dude 11

Wow. You know why I read the blog every day? Apart from the laughs and hilarity, of course. I am surprised constantly by what people proudly bake and decorate. I've been reading the blog for years, and just when I think we've just about seen it all, then you post a special "wizard" cake. Your site is so educational and entertaining.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKSLS Rocks

I LOVE the bait-n-switch at the end. VERY well bowled, indeed.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

I swear that last cake is based on a scene in a movie. Something cheesy and mid-80s, like Red Sonja or one of the Conan movies. Or maybe it was a TV show, something in the Wizards and Warriors genre. I'm not coming up with it. Anyone?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

Bahahaha s&m cake...ok I could maaaaaybe see this being ordered ("hi, im looking to custom order a cake with a dominatrix with a peg leg and her slave tied to a bed. Why? Oh...its my moms birthday.") But as a window display?! Either this bakery is in the red light district or it doesn't (read: Shouldn't) cater to children. Oh this post made my day!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjebus llama

I don't believe I remember THAT scene being in Harry Potter :O

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

We never used the word 'dessert' in our British household in the 70s - the sweet course at the end of a meal was known universally as 'pudding'. So, when I first read the packaging for 'dessert topping' I thought it had something to do with the dry sandy places of the world.

WVA huffi: when I found out I was misreading it I was in a serious huffi for weeks.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthe_exile

The Little Marmaid is supposed to be the Little Barmaid, duh.

I've seen cakes for teachers, cakes for doctors, cakes for women in labor and cakes for young women entering the wonderful world of menstruation. Why should we question a cake for one legged domiminaxtri? Sorry,I don't know the plural of dominatrix. Are they not entitles to a little recognition?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I saw a bio the other day saying that the person had served in "Dessert Storm/Dessert Shield." Tastiest conflict ever.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPup Fan

Ah...the rare s&m cake.... A little reminiscent of the movie Pulp Fiction, but I think that was two guys. And, she may have a peg leg, but what is that item she's holding? It looks like something made from that rare bakery resource, dil-dough....

wv - clowin: like a clown, but not as funny

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

@SuBee --
"Sorry,I don't know the plural of dominatrix."

Having majored in math, I'm going to go with "dominatrices"

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCat

WTF ?!?!?! O_o what are these people thinking

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

'Gandalf looked on in despair as he wondered whether it was worth using his magic staff to get Frodo out of this particular predicament...'

Pup Fan - you made me laugh almost as much as these cakes!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

So I totally don't get the divorce cake. No, really, it makes no sense to me. What, it's not SUPPOSED to? Oh come on!

The last cake: you know I'm totally going to make this.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

@ mel

HAAAAAA
dil-dough!!!!

wv: fulffli-- an intoxicated description of an adorable feline:
"That kitty is sho fulffli!"

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Little Marmaid = A girl who loves to eat Marmite.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Okay, so everyone is focused on the dominatrix in the foreground of that last picture. But tear your eyes away and look beyond that cake. Look not at the middle one but further back. Is that an actual bowl of spaghetti or a cake bowl of spaghetti? And either way, what the heck?!?!? Why is it there?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTexAirhead

OMG there are so many things wrong with that last cake. At first, I was looking for the wizard. Apprently he's another cake in the back, unless the sadist and masochist are his "assistants."

That S&M cake is frightening. The masochist is wearing a mask like the gimp (a la Pulp Fiction) and what is his hand doing?? (it's obscured by the bed post and in Groinland.) And the sadist with her supercleavage, peg leg and multi-strand whip is coming right at us! and why is the mattress sucha shiny pink....

oh the horror!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last display brings a whole new meaning to "fantasy" cakes....

fantasy characters (wizard)
sexual fantasies...

ruins the food fantasy though!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Pup Fan: "the person had served in "Dessert Storm/Dessert Shield."
I can't decide if it's a food fight or something from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Marmaid: Half maid, half marmot.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

what's with the divorce cake? what is that supposed to be? the division of assets with the lawyer sailing the river of money (that they're losing to him) down the middle?

and what are those little things on each side? mysterious assets indeed

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What kind of clientele does the last cake cater to?

@ Mel, that was hilarious. After further looking, it is a whip.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Ah yes Spngbob and the Little Marmaid - the famous aquatic crime fighting duo!

:D ~ Saoirse

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the bug eyed gimp with the zipped lips is freaking me out. and what's on his left hand?is he tied down? is it a half eaten sandwich or pastry written in foil? or a bandaged hand from some terror inflicted by Peggy, the one legged wonder?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was looking back at the last cake (to see the big bowl of spaghetti that TexAirhead pointed out) and I was thinking maybe it was a wedding cake.
The wizard is officiating, and there's the bride with her whip and the groom...
I'm just saying it's a possibility.

wv: cleve (really!): And a man shall cleve to his wife. yada, yada, yada...

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Everyone missed the point in the last picture. There actually IS a wizard cake. It's just behind the SM cake. Look closer.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelektratx

"This is not the bondage cake you are looking for. Ignore the bondage cake. Concentrate on the one behind it. COONNNNNcentrate... COOONNNNcentrate..."

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

The Little Marmaid is Ariel's hispanic half sister who is forced by her evil step mother to clean the entire ocean before she can go to the ball....What? Am I the only one who's heard this story?

What I want to know about the last one is, what is Peggy hiding behind her back?

Andrea

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re: the spaghetti. Maybe once a wizard finds himself in that particular chamber of secrets, he might want to load up on carbs. I hear they're good for endurance.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn in Superior

@ mel you clever clever person...dough taken to a new height...s & m never looked so ahhh,,,errr b & d before...

wv: mangth~ how did i ever mangth my meager cube dwelling days before cw?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~flying gurl~

Ok, I have to admit that by the time I got to the last cake, that is where my thoughts ran amuck. However, that first "cake" (substitute word "monstrosity") is just one hot mess. No "fixing" that thing.

WV: reating - what the "Marmaid" wreckerator is obviously not good at

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Ok the wizard cake made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants!! Thank you for making my birthday even more awesome!!! hahaha!!!!!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSunny

Now I've seen everything! An S&M cake?! Really?!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

How sad that the Little Mermaid and Spongebob had their names misspelled on their tombstones.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

Maybe the first sign means that they provide service to quality deserts, so, sorry Sonoran, you're outta luck. Get out of that abusive relationship with the humans there and we'll talk.

WV: sesside

The Little Marmaid and Spngebob live at the sesside.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

What the what?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

Ack. Good thing the title of 'Dungeons of Azkaban' was nixed.

Huh? "SpngBob"? Spng B-O-B? Mind officially in the cesspool this morning.

wv: Ponsiti -- These cakes are all part of a ponsiti scheme to suck as much laughter out of as many people as possible

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I've seen the last cake before, it was at the essex street market in the LES

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

'Ne Scheidungstorte, man, ich schmei├č mich weg *kicher*; ich versuch gerade die Fig├╝rchen zu bestimmen, konnte aber nur den Wauzi erkennen.
Wer sieht mehr?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

What is with her boobs?? (In the last cake!)

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMegRO

The typos (Little Mermaid and SpongeBob) might be ways to avoid a Disney copyright infringement lawsuit.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOld Lady on the Blog

"No, Mom! I wanted a Spongebob-soccer-Dora-Mickey-guitar-SPIDERMAN-Cars cake, not a Spongebob-soccer-Dora-Mickey-guitar-BATMAN-Cars cake! You always ruin everything!"

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanellionaire

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