Wild Wreckdom

On the remote island of St. Kawkapuey lives the mysterious Cacapillar.

Often mistaken by tourists as monkey droppings, these sweet-smelling carnivorous insects are most often found in local baseball fields:

...and outdoor cooking grills:

A highly adaptable creature, the Cacapillar has learned to subsist on the island's most readily available diet: stale Funyuns and leftover Whiskey:

[Fun Fact: The population of St. Kawkapuey has the world's highest concentration of Karoake bars per person, and once declared a national "Hangover Day" to celebrate the season finale of Dancing With the Stars.]

Though outsiders find the cacapillar off-putting, locals consider it good luck to find one in their home. They also celebrate the warmer summer months, when the island's cacapillars encase themselves in shimmering golden cocoons:

...and then emerge, transformed, as the island's national mascot:

The Majestic All-Seeing Flutterturd

Which can grow to weigh as much as a whopping 25 pounds:

After cavorting in traffic and laying siege to local liqueur stores, the Flutterturds eventually complete their life cycles by dive-bombing into area vegetable gardens en masse:

There they provide excellent fertilizer, though locals admit the smell of whiskey can take several months to dissipate.

Thanks to Laura N., Michelle V., Chris W., Anony M., Holly L., Kimberly S., Kiana R., & Caprice A. for that giant piece of... information.

*****

P.S. I see you enjoy learning things. Might I interest you in this additional educational resource?

Farty Facts: An Illustrated Guide To The Science, History, And Art Of Farting

Yes it's a real book, I can't believe I have to clarify that. A worthy gift for all students of life, or for anyone who has a butt.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Stop And Smell The Clichés

Normally I avoid clichés like the plague.

Still, when it comes to buying a cake, sometimes you've got to grab the bull by the horns.

(Just don't grab the other end.)

See, I'll bet you dollars to donuts:

... that some of you are going to get wrecks.

You may think you have all your ducks in a row:

(or maybe to be rowed...)

... but let's face it: There's a good chance the baker's ...

... a poo ant short of a picnic.

And they might get your cake ...

... bass ackwards.

I mean, does a bear ...

 ... sit in the woods?

(Aw, Pooh.)

;)

Look, you're probably never going to get the baker to eat crow:

So don't make a tempest in a teapot!

(Actually, don't make anything in this teapot.)

After all, you've still got a cake, and maybe the manager will mark it down.

So rather than look a gift horse in the, uh ...

... gaping mouth nozzle of despair?

... just enjoy your cake.

I think Shakespeare put it best:

"That which they call a rose by any other name...

"... still looks like meat."

Thanks to Scott D., Deanna C., Laura M., Wolfie W., Anna M., Autumn J., Reba S., Jesea J., Lana H., and Maria V.  for letting us have their cakes and read them, too.

*****

P.S. If you need a drink after those cakes, then I have JUST the game for you:

"These Cards Will Get You Drunk" Party Game

And since I have the constitution of a dizzy squirrel, I propose an alternate version where instead of drinking we eat whoopie pies. Any seconds?

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: