My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Wild Wreckdom

On the remote island of St. Kawkapuey lives the mysterious Cacapillar.

Often mistaken by tourists as monkey droppings, these sweet-smelling carnivorous insects are most often found in local baseball fields:

...and outdoor cooking grills:

A highly adaptable creature, the Cacapillar has learned to subsist on the island's most readily available diet: stale Funyuns and leftover Whiskey:

[Fun Fact: The population of St. Kawkapuey has the world's highest concentration of Karoake bars per person, and once declared a national "Hangover Day" to celebrate the season finale of Dancing With the Stars.]


Though outsiders find the cacapillar off-putting, locals consider it good luck to find one in their home. They also celebrate the warmer summer months, when the island's cacapillars encase themselves in shimmering golden cocoons:

...and then emerge, transformed, as the island's national mascot:

The Majestic All-Seeing Flutterturd


Which can grow to weigh as much as a whopping 25 pounds:


After cavorting in traffic and laying siege to local liqueur stores, the Flutterturds eventually complete their life cycles by dive-bombing into area vegetable gardens en masse:

There they provide excellent fertilizer, though locals admit the smell of whiskey can take several months to dissipate.


Thanks to Laura N., Michelle V., Chris W., Anony M., Holly L., Kimberly S., Kiana R., & Caprice A. for that giant piece of... information.

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Reader Comments (75)

*blink*blinlk* um...I just...

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNewb

Suddenly, "butterfly kisses" has a whole new meaning -- and I'll never eat those shiny, foil-wrapped, brown teardrops of chocolate again...

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Ew...just...ew. (Shudder)

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCathy


July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

And the wingspan of the flutterturd ranges from 12 inches all the way up to a whopping 1 foot.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSue D. O'Nym

HOLY I'm-not-EVEN-going-to-BOTHER-saying-it.
Where did you find these specimens? They are amessing!!! I mean, amazing!! And to think (and this is the sad/scary part): They. Weren't. Even. Trying. To. Be. Funny.
Odd how a person can laugh and cry at the same time...kinda pitiful/hysterical.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

lol...I heard a Cacapillar was brought into the States and ended up in a country club swimming pool. Thank goodness Carl Spackler was there to save the day.... It must have been smuggled in because they're not available in St. Kawkapuey's Doodie-Free store....

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Do they really think standing the flutterturd upright makes it better? O.O

Eww, Sharyn!! :P

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Nice one, Jen. Any post that has me pondering the virtues of cacapillar vs. crapperpillar while gagging at the thought of a nice glass of poo is an epic post.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Excellent post, Jen! Flutterturd! I can't stop laughing. And whiskey would explain so much on these cakes...

@Sue D. O'Nym:

So...basically what you're saying is that "One size s*its all"?


July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

25 pounds?? That's even too much for me to handle...

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFearless Colon

Cacapillar!!!??!!!!! ROTFL!!
Excellent, Jen. Excellent.
Also: gross, disgusting, and gag-worthy

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I second (or third) that "Ewww!" on most of the cakes. However, that golden cocoon cake looks like almond roca and that is very edible (once past the foil). I would definitely eat THAT cake!

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertea

5th cake: I just love how they try to "class it up" by putting gold PAINT on the damn things.
It reminds me of a play I once saw, entitled: "Rosencrantz and Guildedturd are Dead."

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Lol! it bad that I now think I should own an illustration of a Flutterturd?

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhppire

You know someone was very proud of that Flutterturd.. I mean butterfly. They didn't know it was the majestic Futterturd at the time.

Still can't get over the turds in the shot glasses... what are they supposed to be in the bakers reality?

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiana C

I heard that whole post in the voice of the guy who does the "True facts about..." YouTube videos. And it was hilarious! (If you don't know what I'm talking about you've got to check them out. Go to YouTube and search "true facts about" and then just pick whichever one interests you; there are a lot of them.)

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

It was the cacapillar crawling out of the shot glass that did for me.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

The 7th one down has an almost/sort of Tiffany kind of thing going on--but ONLY in the "wings." And ONLY if you squint. And ONLY if you try to imagine that the Big Brown Blob is somehow...oh, I don't know...GONE?

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

flutterturd made me lol at work! Thanks!

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNiki M

Not only is it a Flutterturd. Not only is it "Majestic." It's also "All-Seeing." That about did me in. That has to be one of my favorite descriptions of a cake plop I've ever read. Bravo!!

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

The Flutterturd's hope:
Sauron will rise again, or
tie-dye will come back.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"Flutterturd" is my new favorite made-up word.

You need to submit that one to the Urban Dictionary, Jen.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I have to say, I actually like the wing design on the 25 lb flutterturd. Too bad it's overshadowed by the 25 lb flutterturd.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

The stuff climbing out of the shot glasses most have been stolen from my cats' litter box. What in the HECK is that supposed to represent????

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie


July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJake and Me

Heh, heh..Oh, my...Wreckdom.....heehhhee...sounds like..heeee....rectum....!
What a funny coincidence!!! =^>.<^=

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Zoomom - You are so right about the voice from "True facts about..." on YouTube making this an even more amazingly funny post!

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me

It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I got to "flutterturd"

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

On another note: On that first cake, it appears a mutant Flutterturd hatched out of its chrysalis early, and with only two wings. I wonder if its parents flew over Japan or Chernobyl, or something...

Because the only thing more majestic than a regular Flutterturd is a mutant Flutterturd.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I heard this in the british voice of my planet earth dvd's :P Sharyn thanks for almost putting me off chocolate D: the cakes look gross, but I love chocolate buttercream so i'd still eat them O_o

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Flutterturds!! BWAHAHAHA

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaLarisa

With that fourth one, there-just what were they "going for" with shot glasses full of s***? They're s**t glasses- I just don't get it. Maybe a drugged-up, stoned-out, drunken frat party? Sorority party? Bridal shower? Bachelor party? BABY shower? "Congratulations on your colonoscopy"?? I give up...*whimper* =^<.>^=

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The twenty-five pound flutterturd does have magnificent wings -- I imagine the wreckorator takes a step back to admire his/her work and says, "hmm, the body is a little bit too stout. I'll just add an elegant swirl of flowers to make it look thinner. Perfect, no one will notice now!"

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersusie r

Funniest.Cake wrecks. Ever.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercdp

It was all fun and laughs until that 25 pounder scrolled up, then it became a real tragedy. Crap.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSweetbriar

"left-over whiskey" Intersting concept . . .

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEvalyn

Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Keep moving, everybody. Just keep moving!

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wrecked em...damn near killed em !
Also flutterturd, best new word ever. I will be telling people that I am taking a flutterturd.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCapone1807

OMG thank you zoomom for recommending "the truth about" I am laughing so hard!!

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

I did notice, Jen, that you forgot to mention the only National Holiday of St. Kawkapuey: Crapinalia.

A week-long celebration of all things Flutterturd, Crapinalia features parades, contests, thematically-appropriate gift exchanges, dramatic re-enactments of the legendary deeds of the Great Flutterturd, and a colorful pageant in which the King and Queen of Kawka are selected from among the general poopulation, to reign as co-Regents until the next year's Crapinalia.

Recent additions to the Rules of Festivities include the use of the phrase, "Because FLUTTERTURD!" as a stock response to all posts on islanders' FaceBook walls for the entire week of Crapinalia, and spamming social media sites with witty memes featuring The Great Flutterturd and cacapillars.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma


July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMamsy

Rectum hell, damn near killed him!

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElle Emm Enn

whoa - that is all

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCharisse

I heard Steve Irwin's voice narrating.

SuBee, makes me think of Piglet saying. "I'm looking down, Pooh!" when Winnie the Pooh told him about Hephalumps & Woozles. :D

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

I THOUGHT my kitten had decided to poop right next to the litter box last night. Little did I know, we actually had an invasion of the Mysterious Cacapillar(s)! Are they rare and valuable, because I threw them in the litter locker. I will have to apologize to my kitten tonight.

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

Crying/laughing. Stale Funyuns and leftover whiskey!! I love that Cacapillars are bugs of extreme debauchery. Thanks for the laugh!!

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

That's not leftover whiskey. That's Tia Maria, which is much like Kahlua....and looks and smells know.....

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlinda

Cacapllar, Flutterturd !!! you've reached a true zenith in literary descriptive nomenclature Jen. Kudos!!

July 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLee Stadler

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