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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Oct292008

The Spider Wreck Chronicles

Not long ago I told you all about a Wreckporter who was foiled in her attempt to photograph a spider Wreck. Since then many of you have sent in photos asking, "Was this it?". Of course I have no way of knowing, so we'll just have to ask Mrs. Tantrum. So, hey, Mrs. Tantrum, was this it?


For what it's worth, this one isn't TOO bad. Other than the fact that the legs are sprouting out of its face like whiskers, of course. And all that black frosting. And the disturbingly ambivalent mouth expression. And the fact that it's a CCC. Yep, not bad at all.

In fact, from what I've seen that is actually the most popular style of spider cake out there. Here are some more colorful models:

This one at least has its face in the right place (always a good thing), but I'm not sure what's going on in the mouth area. Plus, that Haunted gingerbread kit in the background is pure Wrecky gravy.

I would be remiss if I didn't include the steamrolled model:

Plus, yellow? Really? This looks more like a colorful dust mite, or maybe an alien brain with tubing attached, but a spider? No way.

Or how about this guy - or should I say 'girl'?

Sure, she looks more like a muppet with dreadlocks and a bald-spot than a spider, but she's so gosh-darn cute!

Speaking of dreadlocks...

Cha mon, dese be some hoppy Rasta spiders! They be jammin'. And really, have you ever seen pipe cleaners look so delicious?

Alyss H., Rebecca S., Valerie S., Katie M., and Tina F., tune in tomorrow for the terrifying conclusion to...

[dum dum da dummm] The Spider Wreck Chronicles.

« And Now the Conclusion of The Spider Wreck Chronicles | Main | Ghosts with the Most, Continued »

Reader Comments (127)

Love the first cake. Judging from the spider's expression, he looks like someone just stepped on him.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHi Kooky

Mmm....pipe cleaner. *nom nom nom*
I love those Rasta spiders. Won't be showing this entry to my hubby because he's insanely arachnophobic but these are definitely pretty wreck-tastic.
Personally I think the six legged ones are happy Halloween fleas!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

I like the muppet spider too. *smiles*

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I like the spider wrecks except for the yellow one, and except for sticking pipe cleaners in food. But the others, you know, more fodder for my Halloween party! I just need the "grass" decorating tip and I'm ready to go!

(yes, I know, how did I get by decorating all these years with no "grass" tip?) meh, I dunno!

--gothchiq

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Hey, Julio?

The best way IMHO do do black icing is to first use plenty of dark chocolate cocoa powder. You don't need all that much black coloring then.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Yeah--for some reason I'm drawn to the muppet spider--I just want to take him home.

I must agree, it is a tragedy that someone plucked off those spiders legs.

And a note on face-placement. Yes, it is more accurate to have the face on the front (side), not the top (where it looks like a flattened octopus). But, when going for more accuracy, these cake decorators go and ice the sides of the cupcakes--and I'm betting they leave the paper on. Gah-ross!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterour3qtgirlz

I'm kinda digging the Jamaican spiders, mon!

You think the person who decorated the muppet spider got an order for "Animal's head on a platter"? Cuz that's what it is lookin' like.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Never mind the legs...why do all these spiders have crossed googly eyes?

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my goodness, do you know what all that black icing will do to everyone's teeth and lips?

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSari

Cracks me up that most of those don't have the right number of legs!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I have to stop reading this blog at work because it causes uncontrolled laughter.

Which causes my co-workers to look at me and say "What's so funny" and then I have to fess up I'm reading a blog rather than contacting my students.

LOVE your blog!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelley with Amy's Angels

you are so hilarious. hahahaha

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGiusi.

The muppet spider is adorable! I'd so buy it.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

I think the technicolour one looks like the muppet puff balls that sang notes when bonked with a mallet by the conductor.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthebuglady

Not to mention on the first one, who would want to ingest frosting that color!? Forget black poo, I'm willing to bet that stuff had dyed your intestinal wall and stomach lining black as well!

And while looking nothing like spiders, those brown butterballs at the end ARE adorable!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

OMG !!!!!!!

I am laughing soooooooo hard I think I might need a change of underwear! The spider wrecks just got funnier and funnier as did the commentary... Oh mon.. most hoppy Rasta spiders. Geez. And for what it's worth.. the muppet multicolored arachnid was AB-SO-LUTE-LY wreckdorable!

Hilarious!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

LOL! I can't wait to see what you post tomorrow.

I have to say that while everyone is commenting on the fact that spiders have 8 legs - not 6 like the yellow dust mite, no one has mentioned that spiders also have 8 eyes. I do think that 8 eyes on a cake would definitely amp up the creepy factor, but maybe the placement of the 2 googly ones that they do have isn't so off after all....

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

the 1st one reminded me of a cross between cookie monster and coolio, maybe

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterusda

I saw these...erm...cakes when I was grocery shopping a few nights ago but didn't have my cell phone with me! Glad to see others did!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKlucky

I hate spiders and dust mites. So these wreck were extra wrecktastic for me.

I'll have to say the CCC with the ridiculous amount of black frosting is my favorite wreck of them all. It's probably the ambivalent mouth expression that did it. ;)

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

I haven't read your comments, but spider legs actually do come out of their head, not their abdomen :)

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrachelle

The awesome disco-spider looks more like a creation from Viva Pinata than a Halloween cake. ^_^

Emily

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

I distinctly remember learning that spiders have 8 legs in preschool. Seriously, people.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRonnica

The first one looks like Cookie Monster dipped in black ink!!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I actually reall LIKE the muppet with dreadlocks one!!! granted, its no spider but it is cute.

the one with pipe cleaners scared me. i can see 2 of my 4 kids eating them...or trying to. ewww.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarissa

The good thing about the rasta spiders is you can use the pipe cleaner legs to scrub the stains off of your teeth and gums after consuming all of that black icing!

Monique D.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Kiera,

Try right-clicking on the picture spot and choosing 'show picture.'

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Man, there is a whole lotta talk about bug anatomy. Your fan base must be really brainy! Eight legs (I gotta agree - I learned spiders had 8 legs. I know I'm of the Boomer generation, but I don't think spiders have changed that much), 6 legs, yellow, black, multicolored. For what it's worth here in So Cal we have some very lovely black spiders with yellow markings; but they don't look like ANY of the Spider Wreck cakes represented. I kinda feel sorry for the little yellow dust mite/spider. S/he looked like s/he may have been squashed by a truck. Poor thing.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

Not only did I get to laugh my head off at some of those cakes, but then my daughter added even more humor--"That first one looks like a spider that got squished long long ago!" lol

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSinead

Black frosting = purple hiney. Learned that one after my mother-in-law made my 2yo a Mickey Mouse B-day cake.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeckie

I like miss muppet cake of the colorful spider! It's delicious looking! I bet kids would love it, too.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCellar Door

Walmart is FULL of cake wrecks and cupcake cake wrecks. From square pumpkins to ccc similar to the one you just posted!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeccy

i think i'm mostly disturbed by the number of people that think spiders have 6 legs... it's EIGHT people, EIGHT.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Ferber Family

Those are the funniest spiders I have ever seen. I personally like the rasta spiders although they do look delicious! Thanks for the laughs everyday!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLancastermom

The best part of the yellow one, is that it only has 6 legs - spiders have 8 legs.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristie

All of the spider cakes we saw at our local store had 6 legs, all 4 of my children were quick to point this out! I was afraid they were gonna get us caught taking the picture!! The yellow one really caught my eye...you should have seen the orange, white, and black swirl one, with a bright pink mouth!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValerie S.

I actually think that the pipe cleaner spiders look adorably cute!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBerit

The yellow spider and the Rastafarian spiders only have six legs :(

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWade T.

I actually like the muppet looking spider.

after a recent experience with a soccer ball cake with black icing- to put it nicely, the black metabolized a weird green color.

Also, for you first time moms- the same happens with grape pedialyte, so don't freak out if your sick kid suddenly has neon green poop.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Well you know,although it varies most spiders have more than two eyes. Triffles, triffles.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The yellow one minus the legs looks kinda like a squished Lisa Simpson.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As an actual invertebrate enthusiast myself (and owner of one, pink-toed tarantula) all of these anatomically incorrect so-called "spiders" are actually TICKS.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCagey

Wow, my kids would love those cakes, so they will never see them! Hey kids, here's some extremely dyed icing to get you bouncing off the walls, then we'll all go trick or treating! Crazy, although they are kinda cool, and I love the comments you make about them!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJana

OMG that black frosting is so nasty and bitter when you put that much coloring in it.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

Speaking of trifles...."trifle" only has one f.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought spiders had 8 legs... at least that's what I teach my first graders. Maybe they were just so tasty someone had a couple as a snack and that's why they're missing?!?!?

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKahla

i like the colourful spider. the red, green and yellow one. :D not bad at all.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

I'm amazed that nobody else has said that the yellow one looks like a cross between a spider and SpongeBob SquarePants.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkisekileia

The first one looks like Cookie Monster dressed up for Halloween...I mean look at those eyes-they're definitely Cookie Monster eyes, and the fir-if it were blue, it would look just like Cookie Monster with 8 legs. Even the mouth looks like a skinny Cookie Monster mouth.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Bad spider, but great muppet! I like that one. I thought it looked like a Fraggle. Remember Fraggle Rock?! Ahh...cakes that bring up great childhood memories!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

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