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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Oct092008

What's Better Than a Hockey Wreck?


That's right: a FREE hockey Wreck.

Now, I know nothing about hockey. I would not even know this cake was hockey-related if the word 'hockey' wasn't on there. So I asked my hubby John, and he was only too happy to explain the whole game for me. And you know what? It's actually kind of interesting! So for the benefit of you other non-sports types, here's a quick rundown:

See, apparently they play this sport on ice - but they have to make sure the ice is really thick, or else their cleats will scuff it all up. The players wear lots of padding and helmets, and carry little butterfly nets on sticks with which to hit the ball around. The object of the game is to score a triple Hail Mary - which is just another name for a running slam dunk - and consists of knocking three other players down while simultaneously dunking the ball through one of the red rings. Players known as running backs try to kick the ball, but the other team's catchers use their heads and butterfly nets to deflect the ball away from their side's field goal. Any running backs who are able to push the other team's running backs out of the big circle in the middle get what's called a free throw, in which they're allowed to chuck the ball at the head of their least favorite player. If they miss, their team only scores a half-down, but if the ball hits the other player, they score a hole-in-one.

There was also some stuff about yard lines, birdies, and triple-axles, but I kind of zoned out at that point. Still, I think I just may have to check out a hockey game some day; John tells me every time the pitcher serves a kill-shot, the mascot serves hot chocolate. How cool is that?!?

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Reader Comments (133)

Um, I love you. Ok no, I'm not that creepy. You absolutely slay me, though.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCassykins

I would have LOVED to hear the conversation that went on for that cake to be free. I imagine something like:

Decorator: Here's your cake!
Field Hockey Mom: That's my cake?
D: Yep, AHS Field Hockey
FHM: Why is it blue?
D (getting annoyed): For the ice, Ma'am
FHM: Field Hockey is played on a field, not ice.
D: You should have been more specific.
FHM: It's called FIELD Hockey!
D: Let me get my manager...

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChiclet

Wow. Thats all I can say. Wow.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeenie

Oh! Thanks to the comments...now I get it! I thought you were being stupid because you thought it was funny but really you are very smart and funny. I didn't get that is was supposed to be Field Hockey, clear diff from the ice kind...and the footbal and basketball references...Der!

You are so witty and snarktastic, I can't keep up!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmalia

Calvinball!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJ Rob

I am so amazed @ how knowledgeable you are! Wow!!! Ummm, okay, I was being a bit sarcastic but yeah, hockey is pretty cool.

The only nice thing to say about that cake is that it was free. (trying to do that whole do unto others thing this week. We'll see how it goes!)

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

Um, people, we only need one person to explain that the cake should have grass and not ice. We all get it now because it's been said over and over and over and over (see?).If we're going to critique cakes, we should use some common sense to prevent critiques on our critiques about these cakes. Geez. :\

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCody

I went to an ice hockey game to humor my husband, and it was amazing! They ram up against the glass, which was really close to us, and one player even bled ALL over the ice. They all just sat there so I wondered how they were going to clean it up. My husband explained to me that they were waiting for the blood to freeze so they could scrape it off!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhilary

No, no..it's a field of Kentucky BLUE grass! :o)
~Amy B

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow. So I didn't even read the word "field" until these comments. In any case, this cake still doesn't look like anything I've ever seen.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterliz

Cody - comments are monitored, so likely a lot of the people saying the same thing also commented around the same time and were all pending approval (meaning no one could see someone else said the same thing)

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCassykins

What we need here is a big ol' ZAMBONI. (Place cake on ice and let 'er rip!)

Kat

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetikat

Oops! Field Hockey. Got it.

No problem, a lawn-roller will do.

Kat

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetikat

The thing I find funny is the "no charge" sticker. They couldn't provide a PROPERLY decorated cake even though they knew this one was a loss? That grocery is only a few miles away from me, a new store in a ritzy neighborhood. I'll have to check the bakery out more closely.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteraj2x

The thing is, even if it were for an ice hockey team, the cake still shouldn't be blue. It should be white -- just like an ice rink.

Super Extra Fail.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterryan

To Cody: It's said over and over because comments aren't published immediately as they are screened first, so people cannot see right away that it has already been mentioned by others.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNakia

Awesome! I've been to Roche Brothers (pronounced Roach) any number of times, and can totally see why this happened. It's an upscale grocery store in the suburbs of Boston where the employees are mostly Brazilian. I don't think they play either kind of hockey in Brazil, so your description is probably about what the decorator imagined.
Jen

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm with Cody - doesn't anyone who comments read the other comments first? My favourite thing about this Wreck is that so many commenters were stupid enough to point out that field hockey and ice hockey are different, after it had been pointed out about eight million times already! Good job friends.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pedgehog

My love of hockey is limited to Ice Hockey for the NES, which I sometimes play on the Wii's Virtual Console. But that love is great. When I saw this cake, I started uncontrollably humming the music from the game.

And even I know the difference between ice and field hockey.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

Kudos to the baker for recognizing that they screwed up.

I've got to wonder: do you have so many mean-spirited or spam comments that you have to moderate? I don't moderate comments on my blog, just captcha on initial entry and I very rarely have to remove a comment. It's nice to let readers have a dialogue even when I'm not there, and cuts down on everyone saying the same thing.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

CLEARLY, you're not a golfer.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternixtress

I used to play field hockey.
Believe me, the field looks NOTHING like that. What a shame.

At least it was free!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wasn't aware of the hockey rules, either. That is way more interesting than I thought it was. I will still try to get a man to explain it to me though, so I can use the term "butterfly net" to make him mad.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Can't we all just get along? It is pretty easy to skim past duplicate comments if they bother you so much.

And to the poster who mentioned jiggly ball - LOVE IT!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

It seems that the decorator recognized their mistake with the obvious "Field Hockey" writing, and putting an ice rink instead. Hilarious, and I'm so glad you grasped the concept of hockey so well! =D

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthing1thatiam

Seeker: This would be the only thing that Sara Palin coould explain!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbridget

Okay, hockey makes sense to me now. But I remember hearing that it also involves fights. Is that where the padded gloves and yelling "Adrienne!" come in?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterarensb

they must have been playing on Boise State University's football field, which really does have blue turf :-)

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJKH

1. I would love to see that game you described played.

2. If I had ordered this cake I would be running from the store shouting..."Yay! Free Cake!" At least this wreck looks edible.

3. The first thing that crossed my mind was that the team might be from Texas and playing in a field of Blue Bonnets.

4. PS...I miss the ECHL Pensacola Ice Pilots :(

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPrinceton McKinney

MAYBE... just maybe the decorator is color blind and thought it was green only to finish and show it to a co-worker and get an "oh crap!"

Or maybe BSU is going to start having field hockey games on the blue turf on the off season.

You know, when BSU installed the blue turf they had big problems with ducks crash landing thinking it was water.. I wonder if any ducks will try to land on this cake? Might help it out a little.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

Sounds a lot like Quidditch!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinley Dolby

I'm kinda liking that bakery, though. I mean, understanding what an unsalvageable disaster they'd wrought, and--before the customer even arrived to complain--surrendering in advance, without even a token fight? That's, well.... almost classy, y'know?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersunlizzard

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1d/Hockey_field.svg" REL="nofollow">This is what it should have looked like! Too funny.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your hubby needs to not talk about hockey ever again lol.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

Ha, I would hope it was free, seeing as the theme of the cake and sports team the cake was intended for don't match...field hockey is played on grass, not ice...can we also point out the decorator's stellar spacing? thanks go there aren't any quotation marks.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMab

Poetikat--love the zamboni idea! And Kansas Girl--can we play Calvinball with a zamboni playing?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlisonH

Aviatrix: Not that anyone looks at my blog other than my mom so it's not my personal experience, but on the busier blogs, you're more likely to get random trolls saying awful things or ads for viagra or whatever.

And I'm with kansas girl on teh Calvin ball! comment :)

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPhyllis

While it was rather rude of the pedgehog to call the other posters stupid, I do see her point along with Cody's. Even if comments are posted in batches thereby resulting in the same comment being made multiple times, these same comments show up in each batch. PLEASE do your fellow posters (and Jen) a favor and read the previous comments before you add yours. Thanks!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Pedgehog - not everyone has time to read every single comment or indeed, every word of every post. Obviously, you do.

Kat

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetikat

1. You have the best blog ever, and I respect your right to review the comments in whatever way you desire. If people don't like it, then they have the right to NOT POST a comment and/or NOT READ the comments.

2. I found it very amusing that pedgehog's complaint about people saying the same thing that other people were saying was already said many times by other people. So, to pedgehog I quote back: "Good job friend."

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlois

Thanks for writing the most comprehensible description of hockey ever!

I'm living in Sweden, a country that has two seasons; football (ie. soccer - also called summer by the unknowing) and hockey (winter). In the old times all malefolk had to stay in during those season to "watch the game". Nowadays, in these modern and enlightened times, every emancipated woman joins them.

I'm clearly oldfashioned...

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRosengeranium

hahahahahahahahahaha your explanation of hockey is even funnier than the cake!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Hyperlexian Aspie

Creative blog - good move!

Chessgambiter

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChessbumbus

Aviatrix -- I agree with you wholeheartedly.

~Lea

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The design is fairly accurate for a badly-drawn ice rink, but unfortunately they are playing field hockey.

I think the cake decorator should have googled the words "field hockey" before they made this cake... There are plenty of photos of what a field looks like in 'google images'!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLizzi

Just when I think you can't get any funnier, you slay me once again! Thanks for the wrecks, but even more, thanks for the commentary. Those who don't read the comments are surely missing out!
Evelyn

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What the puck was he thinking.

I bet he was walking on thin ice with his boss

He wishes he had a skate-goat.

Just goes to show that you can't have your feild hockey and eat too.

the mom may have committed a butt-ending penalty on the decorator with barry's booty cake.

Thanks I will be here all week. don't forget to tip you waitress

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdwf

I did not read all the comments maybe this was already brought up but. I would not buy a cake from a place whose name could easily be missed pronounced as roach bros. Thats just gross. must be french

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterd

As a Canadian, I have to say I really enjoyed your description of the rules of hockey. I don't think anyone's ever gotten it so accurate before!

Also, I would take the cake. It's hideous, but hello, free cake! :p

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMariam67

Bwahaha!!! From the messed up cake, to your hockey rules - WIN!!! :D

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

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