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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Oct092008

What's Better Than a Hockey Wreck?


That's right: a FREE hockey Wreck.

Now, I know nothing about hockey. I would not even know this cake was hockey-related if the word 'hockey' wasn't on there. So I asked my hubby John, and he was only too happy to explain the whole game for me. And you know what? It's actually kind of interesting! So for the benefit of you other non-sports types, here's a quick rundown:

See, apparently they play this sport on ice - but they have to make sure the ice is really thick, or else their cleats will scuff it all up. The players wear lots of padding and helmets, and carry little butterfly nets on sticks with which to hit the ball around. The object of the game is to score a triple Hail Mary - which is just another name for a running slam dunk - and consists of knocking three other players down while simultaneously dunking the ball through one of the red rings. Players known as running backs try to kick the ball, but the other team's catchers use their heads and butterfly nets to deflect the ball away from their side's field goal. Any running backs who are able to push the other team's running backs out of the big circle in the middle get what's called a free throw, in which they're allowed to chuck the ball at the head of their least favorite player. If they miss, their team only scores a half-down, but if the ball hits the other player, they score a hole-in-one.

There was also some stuff about yard lines, birdies, and triple-axles, but I kind of zoned out at that point. Still, I think I just may have to check out a hockey game some day; John tells me every time the pitcher serves a kill-shot, the mascot serves hot chocolate. How cool is that?!?

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Reader Comments (133)

Bwahaha!!! From the messed up cake, to your hockey rules - WIN!!! :D

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

oh my I didn't even read it properly to get the full wreckyness! I was puzzled on how they were going to score! ROFL to funny.

And a great opener to the NHL hockey season btw! It starts tonight :D

Ziggy

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZiggyeor

Too funny! My little bro used to decorate cakes for the same supermarket chain....I guess they need him back!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Funny site ya have here! I found ya via another's blog. I am going to be bloody 50 in a week or so and am getting me a big cake, I hope like hell it looks OK!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris H

Hey guys,

Just so you know, moderating comments is HARD. Really, it's not a lot of fun. We read the bad with the good which is sometimes truly disheartening. Occasionally, we even have to find family members to do it for us if we aren't gonna be prompt about it. But Jen made a commitment when she started this blog that there would be no profanity and minimal objectionable material so that, for the most part, the site would be kid safe.

So, yes. It stinks that we get repeated comments. We wish every commenter would be able to express their view without potentially hurting someone else. Or us, for that matter. But sadly it isn't so.

I only ask that you extend us some grace in our efforts to continue to have a great site that is safe and fun for everybody.

Wreck on!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJohn (the hubby of Jen)

I hope the people who said that this post was educational re: the rules of hockey realize that Jen was being her usual funny and sarcastic self when describing the sport. She mashed together just about every sport since hockey is boring and causes her to zone out when her husband is explaining it (at least, that's what I imagine). Those are NOT the rules of hockey. They are the rules of hockey, rugby, football, golf, and who knows what else.

That being said, I love this blog and it brings much laughter to my life. Thank you!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersuzi

Oh thats bad. They should have PAID the customer to take it!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

LOL YOUR DESCRIPTION OF HOCKEY MADE ME :'(

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love how you can grow blue grass out in the U.S.A. Now I understand how the game of hockey is played. My husband will be so impressed with me next time we watch the Bulls play.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LMAO @ your description of hockey. I'm not sure how many sports you managed to smash together there, but that was hee-larious! And I love how the bakery just gave them the cake for free once they realized what a huge mistake they'd made. Now that's customer service. At least the darn thing looks edible.

PS: Calvinball!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

Jenn/Hubby,

I'm sorry you receive disheartening and critical comments at times. I hope all the hearts YOU lift and the smiles you give so many people all over the world overshadows the few negative ones. Wreck on! :-)

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNakia

Dearest Cody-
Just in case you believe that the sole purpose of this blog is to critique cakes .... I wanted to point out the hundreds of comments added each week that showcase clever interpretations and witty prose. To focus on the technical merit of cake-decorating alone would be far less entertaining!!!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Was I the only one thinking it was a mis-spelled "Ashfield"?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

If this is your explanation of hockey, I can't wait for someone to design a cricket cake wreck!

I look forward to your posts every day! Thanks so much.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAJ and Dexter's Mom

I am noticing a trend in all the sports cakes you post... they all look like crop circles. Are aliens taking over bakeries?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

Was this done by the same decorator who did the baseball "diamond"?

October 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMoose Nuggets

This is a great post. I really enjoy reading your blog

October 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRosie Reports

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!.

Okay... breathing... I'm okay... oh, wait...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

October 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

not sure if anyone caught this, but i'm fairly sure there was no charge because the Circle was-i'm guessing- probably supposed to be an actual *image* of the field (rink? i'm confused with all this ice/field hocky confusion).

October 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I kid you not, It took me until you said the word "kick" for me to realize this wasn't a serious description. No, really. I was actually thinking to myself "why the ridiculously long description of hocky?" by the way, are there really nets on the hocky sticks?

October 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Okay, my question is this...is it supposed to be ice hockey or field hockey? It looks sort of like ice because of the blue, but is sorta set up like field. I guess it is supposed to be field hockey in the school colors? Good grief...at least the bakery realized it was a wreck and refused to charge! LOL

October 12, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermousekemom

whats the difference between a pitbull and a hockey mom? ;)

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Answer for Anonymous: A pitbull know what a hockey rink looks like.
Those bakers sure didn't
F.Y.I
To all the whiners who are to many to comment on:
Uh, I don't know about ya'll but here in N.Y.C we use this thing called the scoll. -------> Right there on the right, can't miss it!
You see you can scroll and see.
But it really doesn't matter because it's fun to comment.
You remember fun don't you? That when you don't take things so seriously. Like for instance my sarcastic comment.
Now look at the funny and pictures and smile. Smile, darn it, smile!
There you go! :)

Peace,
Clueuin
P.S, Hey at least nobody's mention the O word. (See first cupcake cake distaster.)
Love your comments Jen!
c.i.n

October 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterclueuin

Ah, Roche Bros. of Wellesley Hills, MA. I know it well... that's the grocery store I grew up stealing candy from. I couldn't be more proud.

(And Yes, I can confirm that the name of this grocery store is pronounced like "roach.")

October 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfauren

Morgan, I thought it must have been misspelled "ashfield," too, but Ashfield is too far away from Wellesley, where the cake was made. though there is an AshLAND nearby, which a confused baker could have screwed up (we all know stranger things have happened), I don't think that's the case. the date on the tag (nov 11th) matches up with the end of fieldhockey season, not ice hockey.

October 28, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertara

I'm 80% sure I used to work at the grocery store that made this cake...

NOT IN THE BAKERY THOUGH! I SWEAR!

November 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJon

In Defence of this cake you have here 2 problems. ! the tag on the cake has a 31 day code and misc bakery tags have a 3 day code. and the cake decorations is what is called a "kitcake" which the customer orders. Decoorators dont just put this on themselves. So it would seem once again it is the customors fault for ordereding this cake and while not the best looking cake......the whole thing just doesnt add up. I deal daily with people who ask for the most whacked out things on a cake only to cry when they get what the asked for.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTheo

It looks more like a crop circle than a hockey rink.

January 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Most of my experience with hockey involved prancing around on a muddy field at the girls' private school I went to, and my main experience with the American take on hockey was watching episodes of Winnie the Pooh and the Simpsons in which they play it, and, more recently, watching Kevin Smith's movie "Dogma" and puzzling for a while over whether the redhaired ringleader of the demonic kids who go round beating people with hockey sticks was a boy or a girl. I'm still pretty certain that isn't what a hockey rink is supposed to look like.

Word verification: funcruns. Sounds like a cuss. Or perhaps some form of game involving hockey sticks and cake.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

found your site and love it. cringed a little when I saw this was by my beloved Roche Brothers. Ah well; can't win 'em all!

July 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLlora Jean

Are you messing up hockey and field hockey intentionally?

October 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRex

I would have expected more hockey-related cake wrecks. I mean, you always hear about the players icing the puck...

How could there be 131 comments without somebody adding that one?

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTim

Yes, Kansas girl! Yes! Finally, someone else who understands the rules! Woo!

November 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

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