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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Dec202008

Ye Olde Yuletide Ax

Prepare your retinas for an assault of Christmas-time proportions:

Jami H. assures me there's actually cake under that mess. A mess, I might add, which is completely inedible - except for the frosting dots on the plastic aquarium sprigs, of course. So let's see: we've got trees, icicle garland, holly berries and leaves, and a shiny gold...ax?

Srsly - who plans this stuff?

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Reader Comments (119)

Hey, I think I can see Waldo in there! XD

Whoever made this wreck... has to eat it. Plastic axe, fake trees, and all.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's so frightening and random...I almost want one.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca Rodgers

So THAT'S where all of our kindergarten Christmas decorations went... We've been looking for those!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTatersmama

Wow that certainly is a wreck!
also i know this is random but John Mayer has been having a cake contest on his blog. check out all the fabulous cakes at http://www.johnmayer.com/blog

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergreek girl

What the H were they thinking?!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManda

What the heck! This is the perfect visual for a "less is more" lesson.
Out of curiousity, Jen, what is your opinion of "fruitcake"? ;)

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlawnajo

Why would you stick a "Seasons Greetings" sign on a CHRISTMAS tree? I'm jus' sayin'....

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Fugly. Just Fugly.

(I associated the axe with Washington cutting down the cherry tree, but Aviatrix's Lincoln reference is equally valid and equally misplaced in a Christmas wreck.)

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLulubelle B

Aw, it's not all THAT bad!
Go to any gathering of little, blue-haired old ladies (no offense to little, blue-haired old ladies in general, of course)during the holidays, and I'll bet you'd see worse than that thing on their coats, masquerading as "holiday corsages."
Oh, Mari--I don't know about a Paul Bunyan convention per se, but the folks up in Brainerd, Minn. seem to think a heck of a lot of the big guy. Big statue and all that. Yah. ;)

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Do you ever wonder if wreckarators are doing this on purpose just to get on the site? That is the only way to explain this.

Word Verification: treed as in: Them thare cupcake has been treed! :D

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryAnn

Holy hell, that's a CAKE? How on earth do these people get jobs?!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

Merry aXemas!!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Long time lurker, first time commenter. Had to come out of the woodwork to comment on this monstrosity. What the bloody eff IS that thing?

WV: Habler: Horrendous enabler. IE; the person who told this Wreckorator that this cake was sellable!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

How else are you supposed to chop up the yule log? With your fingers?

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda K

It hurts.

It hurts so good.

...erm... I mean badly.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Promo Homo

..c..c....cupcake?!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbpddjeoomon

Hmm...

Yup... I'm pretty sure that this is a 4 cupcake CCC... And they probably had one green... one red... one blue... and one yellow frosted so the multitude of 'stuff' is meant to cover the fact that they should have turned it into a string of christmas lights instead of a heap o' Christmas Crap.

Hmm... But the axe now... hmm...

I suppose Lizzy Borden's ghost might have ordered a Christmas Cake with her favorite type of gift...?

LOL

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJ

Ouch!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMairs

So, they store a box up on the top shelf. A box full of little plastic things that are left over from other projects. And they were getting it down so that they could put away the golden axe. But they dropped it...and some of the bits got stuck in a cupcake. And some marketing expert said, "WHOA! Throw some icing dots on it...it'll sell! Watch, there's someone out there who will buy ANYTHING." And so was born a (cup)Cake Wreck.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJanet Selman

Don't worry if your house has no chimney kids, Santa will just use his shiny gold axe to get through your door. He also uses his axe on the kids on his naughty list, so be good 'kay?!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrainbowmummy

Here's my best guess: an outdoor Christmas tree caught fire, but it was stopped quickly with lots of water (no charring, but icicles) and a golden ax (hence the big leafy mess). As to who would've been near with water and a golden ax, I don't know. Frodo Baggins? Paul Bunyan?

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHi Kooky

My first response to this was "Well, of course, you use the Yule Axe to cut the Yule Logs."
But I see other commentators have beaten me to this conclusion.

wv: miess. The sound all the CakeWrecks readers make when someone misses this badly. Ouch.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

I had to go back and look for the ax, there's so much stuff on that monstrosity! And it looks like it's a cupcake cake, which makes things even worse. Add in that it was probably supposed to be a takeoff on the Buche de Noel and it's a wreck three times over!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

prolly need it to break thru to the cake.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpunxxi

Looking at this is giving me a stomachache. Not because of the decorating per se, not because of the gobs of neon green frosting, but because I can't help but imagine that all of the inedible crap on top has the same musty, old-plastic smell that my mom's Christmas decorations do when she first pulls them out of the attic. Like a combination of decaying insulation, mold, and baby vomit. Bleagh.

- http://vespertinestars.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">Mu

Word verification: Lessi. Lessi how many cups of eggnog it's going to take for me to forget I ever saw this monstrosity.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMuninn

Maybe the Axe was a college football reference... Cal Bears/ Stanford Cardinal rivalry, anyone?

Although I must say I'm a huge Cal fan, there is no excuse for this atrocity. ABSOLUTELY NONE.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarlene

Whoa. Eyeball overload. I don't know what the heck I'm supposed to be looking at!

"Srsly - who plans this stuff?"

That would be nobody. Nobody at all.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlexis

The ginormous axe is to cut down the tiny trees. Which makes about as much sense as the whole cake does.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

I have visions of someone going to an estate sale. Buying a messy box of really old, dusty Christmas decorations and throwing them on a cake.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

I took a cake decorating class years ago. I made several cakes for my kids. On a couple of occasions I had friends offer to pay me to make a cake for their kids. I always refused to accept money because frankly my cakes were not good enough to be considered professional.

Or so I thought..... maybe I should re think my cake making career. ( I will know I have made it if one ends up here ;) )

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

lol yeah I am being a board hog.

Is that an "I Spy" cake?

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

Axe? AXE? Wha the....

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCharmaine

umm...that's a cupcake with that mess piled on top.

sad, sad, sad...

because there is someone wandering through the bakery [aisle] lonely enough to say, "yeah, i'll have that pile of crap and plastic on top of that perfectly decent cupcake...that'll make my day!"

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsay

Anonymous said...
Merry aXemas!!

December 20, 2008 2:10 PM
********************************

Hey, I LIKE that!! >^~~^<

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

All I can say is, it looks like how I feel after all the presents are opened.

Word verification: rappinea. I won't be rappinea gifts anytime soon.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

'That was inedible muck, and there wasn't enough of it.'

-viv stanshall (as sir henry of rawlinson end)

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

JEEBUS, that's atrocious.

From what season is that "greeting" being sent, exactly? Tacky craft fair season??

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

that looks like the living room rug the Christmas my brother and I pulled the tree over, by accident, twice in one day. Luckily there was no axe or our Mother would have murdered us.


wvotd..dirocal. A tummy remedy needed to counteract eating the plastic decorations on this cake

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

question,,,,why do we never hear formthe people who submitted the cake? If my cake was up i would be answering questions and stuff like was this a crappy cupcake cake?

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OBVIOUSLY, the golden ax is there because the little elves used it to chop down the Christmas trees.
...
Naw, I agree with Zitny Clan--definitely mass murderers celebrating Christmas. At least it's not bloody or anything.

I am amazed that so many people see a cupcake under that... I definitely didn't see anything.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSerena

The axe is for Yule. It's a Yule Cake without being an actual Yule log... Still hideous, though!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCyn

That's just freaky.
wordver: bluout.
Close enough to blowout, which is what someone did with this cake!
-Deb (the same Deb from the other posts)

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Geez, you guys are so picky ;)

At least this thing has sprinkles!!!

...okay, so maybe it is a bit fugly.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterasillylittlegirl

OMG, OMG, it's wearing a *necklace*.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKore

ew. it scares me.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBailey's Leaf

I gave Cake Wrecks an award:
http://bearabledeals.blogspot.com/2008/12/my-first-blog-award.html

TY for being so great! Merry Xmas!

December 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRenee' Simmons

So, having looked at the cake for a long time, I think it's supposed to be a grassy forest with two christmas trees covered in snow and ice but yeah, it's a wreck of epic proportions.

As for the ax, I'm thinking it could be meant as a reference to the grand old German tradition of papa going out into the forest and cutting down a real Christmas tree for his family. This is the only explanation I can come up with.

December 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEvie

That cake looks like a Christmas tree threw up on it!

December 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

...the 'Seasons Greetings' sign is bigger than the cake!!

December 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

Yes, it is indeed a Buche de Noel, therefore it looks like this.

December 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHellboundAlleee

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