My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Kwanzaa Will Not Be Spared

I made an exception before to include a Sandra Lee creation here on Wrecks, and I'm afraid I have to do so again. How could I not share this bit of holiday cheer with you all?

Yes, those are corn nuts on the edges, although Lee calls them "acorns". There's also canned apple pie filling, cinnamon chocolate icing, pumpkin seeds, and of course the giant taper candles. Here's a handy diagram courtesy of One Horse Shy (which offers it as a poster or on t-shirts) in case you didn't catch all that:
If you want to watch Sandra work her magic you'll find the official video (with commercials) here, or watch a low-quality Youtube version here.

But wait, there's more! While I was digging around looking for more Kwanzaa Wreckage online (note: there is none) I uncovered a hilarious photo-documentary by Flickr user Kitty LaRoux of her and a friend (aided by an indeterminate amount of bourbon) attempting to recreate the cake. (Her blog post on it is hilarious, too.) The official recipe online includes popcorn in addition to the corn nuts and pumpkin seeds, so the end result - sans candles - ends up looking something like this:

The title of this photo is "We have to eat it?", and the reaction shot after she tries it is pretty priceless. I'm guessing it tastes as bad as it looks, Kitty?

Now, before you guys start complaining that this is not technically a Wreck, let me just say I can only work with what I'm given, alright? I haven't found ANY other Kwanzaa wreckage out there. In fact, I'm starting to think that this African festival of First Fruits is somehow anti-cake; that, or they're being made extremely well and kept in strict seclusion. Here's hoping that next year wreckerators will step it up. ;)

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Reader Comments (121)

I've watched that video a few times for the sheer horror and ridiculousness of it! How can anyone take that seriously?! The gargantuan multicolored candles plopped in the top are priceless.

December 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

what. in. the. hell?!

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChelsi

Bahahaha. I JUST rushed over here to see if it was on this website, because it's so deserving of a place here.

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did you ever notice that the main ingredient in all of Sandra Lee's recipes, whether it be roast beef or an apple pie is "whipped topping". B***h must have stock in cool whip.

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

Um, I think this cake officially qualifies as a hate crime.

January 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Some of what she does is ok, but the cakes need to stop. My wrecky favorite is her "Noel Cake." It is hideous and can be seen here, make sure to click on the enlarge button:

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEve

thank you for the lovely stills and diagrams. didn't think this could be possible.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersuz

Wow. I just found this site and have been thus far amused, but when I arrived at this monstrosity, well, I about fell out of my chair. What a spectacular trainwreck of a dessert! I am in awe...

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterproject mogul

i would like to note, that when cakes look like that, they only take a tiny bite

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndy

I do believe in certain circles that has been dubbed the 'poop cake.' Eminently fitting, I think.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHJS

I saw this awful cake around holiday time and forgot about this gem until just now. That thing is an internet good legend!

Here's it's twin sister, the Hanukkah cake:

Note, the Star of David is the wrong shape, and I don't believe those are Kosher marshmallows she shoved into the middle of that poor innocent cake.

And why would you FROST an angle food cake? Blech!

April 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

I agree that anything Sandra Lee does is a qualified wreck- even if its not a cake! Have you featured the "Christmas Tree" cake she made? I haven't looked around your entire site- but that one is a gem.

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Denny Family

Seen this little Sandra Lee nightmare? EGADS!

November 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrankandcathy

Can you believe this? The caption on the foodNetwork video said "Semi-Homemade makes a most amazingly beautiful cake for Kwanza."
Love your blog,
didn't get mad about EPCOT,
Your fan,

December 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Corn-nuts? As in "I'm-driving-along-and-feeling-a-little-peckish-rest-stop" corn nuts?

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Gotta keep this recipe away from granny or it will become a holiday tradition! Anything with canned apples is good in her book!

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDJ

...So, what's Sandra Lee up to today? Let's pop over to the Food Network website and... No.

NO! The first cake for today (12/24/09) is "Angel Food Cake with Mixed Berries". Guess how you make it? Take a store-bought angel-food cake, take some berries and sugar, mash berries and sugar together, then pour them on the cake. Genius! Innovative! --Huh? Oh yes, I guess she is a generous dab of whipped cream short of a strawberry shortcake.

I understand if FN tries to attract non-cooks, but I didn't realize that combining ingredients in a bowl was so radical. By golly, I could do a half-hour show on the caramelized pairing of pancake syrup and peanut butter! I must be in the wrong biz.

December 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Umm, yes, it is a wreck. That woman is vile and she must be destroyed.

December 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRosanna" rel="nofollow"> CORN NUTS!

And Sandra Lee makes me want to punch kittens.

January 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKendra

Oddly enough, I remember her doing a similar cake years ago. It also involved a store-bought angel food cake. And pale blue icing. The kind of pale blue you might get if you mixed Drano with pure white icing. Yeah. That covered the cake. It was a Hanukkah cake. It's in the same episode as the Kwanzaa cake. I think my favorite part is when she forcefully stuffs marshmallows into the center of the cake with the frosting laden knife. *Shudder*

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

This is ..a little scary. It would have made a good halloween cake! lol Suzanne xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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