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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Dec292008

Grandpa's Order

"Sweetie, I get the feeling your father has been a little impatient for us to have a boy."
"Why do you say that, hon?"
"Oh, you know, all the baseball equipment for the girls' birthdays..."
"They loved those!"
"And the football helmets..."
"Once we painted the tiaras on they wore them all day."
"And you know earlier, when we told him we were having a boy this time? I'm sure that back flip couldn't have been good for his arthritis."
"Oh, he was just being cute, is all. I'm sure the thought of us having a boy is no more exciting for him than the thought of our having another girl."
"Riiight. Have you seen the cake?"
"He bought a cake?"

[silence]
"Er. Does he think we're naming the baby Finaly?"
"That's supposed to say "finally", dear."
"Oooooh."
[more silence]
"So, do you want to tell him we were joking, or shall I?"

Amy W., I'd wait 'til after the cake was served.

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Reader Comments (57)

So wrong and yet so funny...

These photos should be destroyed just in case they're really having a girl who isn't named Finaly.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

"Honey, does he think we're having a monkey? lion? Or a floating elephant?"

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMandi

Whoops! Be careful now... poor grandpa's heart might not be up to all this tomfoolery.

As for the cake... looks like he's hoping for multiples, no?

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

Or maybe it's for a boy called Finlay?

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*snort* Your dialogue was spot on for this one! As for the cake itself... all the dye in the emerald green frosting can't POSSIBLY be good for you...

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

Because nothing says "We're having a boy after many attempts" like monkeys in a tree? Or a lion on a bunch of green? Or an elephant stranded in a pool? (OK, maybe that one is better suited to the situation...)

Word verification: langsp, an abbreviation for language and spelling issues observed on cakes

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That poor boy.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

My husband is one of five boys, then his mom gave birth to triplet girls. We were warned to quit trying for that girl. That cake is too funny. But, instead of animals, you'd think they'd put boy stuff on it---hunting and fishing gear.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

Misspelled words aside, um, does that look like a green pile of poo in the corner, or is that just me and my wacky perception?

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFeisty Irish Wench

I think that your commentary for this cake was one of your greatest yet! I truly lol'ed. I do feel bad for the poor kid though.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Do you think the elephant just couldn't hold it any longer?

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Are those supposed to be monkeys in the tree?

amberxeyes.blogspot.com

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

Love the Fisher Price plastic animals. Bet those would taste...chewy.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

A lot of green icing makes a lot of green poo at the end of the day! Loved the commentary! Love this blog!Keep up the morning laughs.

WV- regab
say again?

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

LOL...poor grandpa and great dialogue. The colour of that icing is almost sickening.

WV: acessi, as in I hope grandpa's oxygen is acessi-ble.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeanabh_Kelsey

At least they left out the "quotation marks."

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBibi

Yeah, you'd think they'd celebrate a boy with someone a little more apt. Like eels, weasels, and a train coming out of a tunnel.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertim h

No pressure, right? Finaly for a name. Eek. LOL
~Amy B.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I'd feel bad for this boy's sisters. Imagine what it would be like eating a cake that celebrated the fact that your new brother wasn't yet another girl.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRollerwings

I just wanted to let you know at the bottom of the page, the ad said "Save 50% off diaper cakes." I believe this requires some investigation on your part!~

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

That's a really cute idea to use Fisher Price animals on a cake! It's a shame about the misspelling, but that's the only thing I can see that makes it especially wrecktacular.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna

I don't feel bad for the boy - he's too young to know anyhow. I really feel bad for his sisters. Way to let them know they're not wanted. Thanks a lot, Grandpa.

WV: cappo, as in, "finaly we'll have a replacement for the cappo di cappi."

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poor Boy? Poor Kid? No, poor girls who have their spirits crushed hearing "Finally a boy!" over and over again.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterk.

Besides the spelling, why would someone request that on a cake? WEIRD! Wopuldn't something more like "Third time's a charm" or "Damn, you finally got it right?" be better? That's obviously what they were thinking! HA!

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

My first thought was that the decorator meant to say Finlay, a boy.

It took me forever to figure out what those things were on top. They're supposed to be jungle animals? Then the boy's name is Tarzan, not Finlay?

Um, yeah. Whatever you say.

Word verification: ressepie. I hope no one shares the ressepie for this wreck!

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Oh yeah, no pressure at all, lol.

That looks almost inedible. Is that green carpet made of icing or fondant? I couldn't tell for sure.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

Not only is it a wreck, but as a feminist, this completely ruffles my feathers! Double wreck!

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

I feel so sorry for the other kids! How thoughtless! I'm actually glad there is a misspelling on this cake! Ack!

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

Thank you for that! Your dialogue was hilarious!! :)

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Ouch.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

This is hands down one of your funniest posts!

Those poor Fisher Price Little People animals. I don't think they ever thought they'd be stuck on a cake!

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Lee

Grampa is a rude, insensitive boor.
I would NOT serve that cake anywhere near the new baby's sisters, IF I accepted it at all. In fact, I would be tempted to get Gramps a cake of his own saying, "Finaly (sic)--the granddaughters know where they really stand with Grandpa! Stick this cake up your***!"
=^@@^=

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Do you think they really mean "Finally a baby" more than "Dear Gawd no more girls!" ?

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ya know what. The concept of the cake has the concept to be really cute. The elephant in the pile of blue frosting had the potential to be really cute.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

Sometimes a cake like this is very appropriate... for example, the couple I know of who produced 11 girls (yes, 11) before at last having a boy!

In that case I think we all would be saying "Finally! A BOY!"

---Anyone else have the song "Welcome to the Jungle" playing in their heads after looking at that cake? Anyone?

Just me? okay....

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I used to know a couple who kept trying until they had a boy, as their fifth child. By then, the oldest girl was old enough to know what was happening. I tried talking to the couple about how obvious they were about it, but they didn't see anything wrong.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarilee

If all else fails, they could always repurpose the cake for a post-sex change operation celebration. As in "You're finally a boy!"

...at least that's how I read it.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe it's supposed to say "Finale, A Boy"... as in "And for the last child, it's a boy!" You know, if the family has decided this child will be the last... maybe?

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAislinn

I really hate this attitude; the boy is soo important, FINALLY. So screw the previous kids, since they're just girls; we FINALLY have a BOY! oooo.
Like my lovely neighbors, who have 5 kids. The last one is a BOY--oooo. FINALLY. I wonder what kind of crappy complexes all their unimportant girls have.
Jerks.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrobyn

Maybe... just maybe... the "finally" is referring to the baby being born, and people finding out the gender, not because they have girls and wanted a boy.

I could see the frustration of the family if they didn't know in advance. Still weird though!

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Unless kiddo's name is Finlay, I feel awful for his sisters :(

If I ever had a baby boy, that's EXACTLY what my father would be thinking. He already had three granddaughters seven years ago when I got pregnant, and I swear the first thing he said when I told him was "Maybe it'll be a boy this time!"

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwealhtheow

Awesome. Nothing like some good old gender preference to start off the new year.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercadylee

My mother told me once in a fit of rage that when I was born (back in the days before ultrasounds could tell you what gender your baby would be), my father had cried out, "Oh no, not a girl!"

...yep.

December 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCanaduck

I think I prefer the approach of the Monds family: when they "finaly" got their baby boy, instead of requesting this downer of a cake the father (or was it grandfather?) proclaimed, "Wonderful! Terrific!" That became the boy's name, and he passed the name down to his son and grandson, who both played professional sports for a short period of time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:List_of_unusual_personal_names#Wonderful_Terrific_Monds_III).
Still feel a little sorry for the sisters, though.

December 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

And for the finale..

WV: proto--it's the prototype for the real wv.

December 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermimi

Add me to the list of people who feel sorry for the boy's sisters; after they cut the cake, Grandpa should just tell them that they've always been a disappointment to him, what with their dirty, nasty girl-parts, conniving ways, and inferior intelligence.

Geez!

December 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkid-lit-fan

okay, i had to post on this on! besides the obvious references to the green poo icing, poor grammar, etc.... my eldest child is named Finley and his name is ALWAYS pronnounced and often misspelled Finely by strangers!

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentererinbeth

I think I know someone who would've ordered that cake.

One of my first year college roommates was a triplet (identical twins + 1.) The three of them were supposed to be the bouncing baby boy their dad wanted; instead, he now has six daughters.

January 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertasteslikeyum

Finally a boy! Because after all, girls are only good for trading for camels.

January 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe it's a cake for Pinocchio?

January 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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